Page 53 of Everything That Kills Me
“Is that so?”
Zeph nodded. He couldn’t blink now. All he could do was stare at Jack. And breathe.Oh shit, I’ve forgotten how to breathe. In…out.He sucked in a breath, then pulled Jack’s hand to his mouth and kissed his palm.
Jack stared at him and Zeph kissed his palm again and again, slowly dragging his tongue up the centre of his hand, then over his wrist and sucking gently. He’d never felt so brave in his life.
“I want to kiss you,” Jack whispered.
“I want to kissyou.”Zeph leaned in and pressed his lips gently against Jack’s. He heard the hitch in Jack’s breathing and then Jack was peppering kisses on his lips, sweet and soft and insistent, but nowhere near enough of them. Zeph put his hand on the back of Jack’s head, threaded his fingers in his hair and held him close.
Somehow, and Zeph wasn’t sure how, they slid down so they were lying side by side. Jack pulled him in until they were pressed together along their lengths, the duvet between them. Zeph wanted it gone, yet was desperate for it to stay. If they were heard… If his father… He pressed his mouth harder against Jack’s to stop the groan of desperation escaping from his throat. Then, all at once, Jack wasn’t plastered to him anymore, but standing by the bed.
Zeph blinked up at him.
“I need to go before I can’t,” Jack whispered.
“Don’t go yet.”
He thought Jack would leave but he came back to the bed, and straddled him. Jack held Zeph’s gaze as he lowered himself down until their hips were together, still with the duvet between them. Caged by Jack’s arms, Zeph wrapped his around Jack and held tight. The kiss was wilder this time, deeper, and Zeph could only hold on and go where Jack took him. He could feel Jack’s hardness and wondered if Jack could feel his.
The kisses shifted from Zeph’s mouth to his cheek, then his neck and his ear, and shivers raced up and down his spine. He ached with wanting. Zeph lifted a hand to twist his fingers in Jack’s hair, and Jack pulled away again.
“I don’t want to go but I have to.I can run tomorrow after all. Ten. Same place. Bring the homework.”
He left the way he’d entered and Zeph pushed to his feet and padded over to the window. Jack was almost on the ground. He looked up, smiled at him, then he was gone. Zeph felt…undone, flayed open, all of him exposed.
How could he have thought he could keep his heart safe? He’d already lost it.
Fifteen
Jack walked away from Zeph’s house until he was no longer hard, then he started to run. It would have been quicker and easier to use the main road but at this time of night, he didn’t want to get picked up by the police or some well-meaning driver. Or a driver who wasn’t well-meaning. Not that Jack would accept a lift. More importantly, he didn’t want to get knocked down because he was wearing dark clothing, so he stuck mostly to smaller roads and fields.
He’d had to come and see Zeph. Even though he couldn’t tell him anything, he felt better. A hard weekend was as far as he’d go, but if hehadtold him, what would Zeph have thought of him? Would he have still let him kiss him, hold him? He wanted to believe Zeph would have understood that sometimes bad things had to be done to stop even worse things happening.
Jack had left him tonight before things went too far. Maybe they already had. All he was thinking about now was seeing Zeph again tomorrow. His smile. The way his glasses slipped on his nose. That fading bruise on his cheek had turned on Jack’s protective instincts. How dare his fucking father hit him?
He was almost back at the house and slowed as he approached the door. Creeping without making a sound was a skill he’d been taught early on. He’d made sure he knew every creak of this house within hours of moving in. What he hadn’t expected was to find Thomas in his bedroom, sitting in the dark. He should have. The desk light clicked on.
“Do I need to ask where you’ve been?” Thomas said.
Jack could have lied. He had good reason to clear his head with a run. But not in the middle of the night. And Thomas would know he was lying. He was not supposed to lie to Thomas and he really tried not to.
“I went to see Zeph.”
“Why?”
“I just wanted to see him. He’d sent a lot of messages. He was worried about me.”
“And you couldn’t have messaged him? Or waited until morning?”
“I just… I just wanted to talk to someone who was…normal.”Shit.“I don’t mean you’re not normal.”
“But I’m not and neither are you. I hope you told him nothing.”
“I’m not stupid.”
Thomas sighed as if, tonight, Jackhadbeen stupid. “He’ll break you.”
No, he won’t.
