Page 54 of Everything That Kills Me
“Where are you going with this?”
He knew the answer Thomas wanted to hear, and it was the answer Jack had to both give and accept. “Nowhere.”
Thomas pushed to his feet. “Remember that. Don’t get more involved than you already are. For his sake as much as yours.”
“We’re going for another run tomorrow. Will you take me?”
“Don’t run.”
Shit.Jack went to bed wondering where hewasgoing with this. He knew the rules. Getting involved with anyone was unwise. But Thomas had set this in motion by insisting he went to school. What was the point if he didn’t make friends? Thomas might not have guessed what sort of friend Zeph was, but knowing him, he probably had. Jack sent a message to Zeph telling him he couldn’t run, then clenched his teeth. He was quite capable of getting to Wisby under his own steam but he would obey Thomas.
He looked around his bedroom, at the plain, bare walls and compared it to Zeph’s room. Before Zeph had woken, he’d taken everything in. The shelf of paperbacks—sci fi books, thrillers, classics and poetry. The keyboard. The collection of weird andwonderful stones on the windowsill. He’d had to be careful not to dislodge any. He’d wondered what they were doing there until he’d seen the beauty in them. A smooth-edged elongated piece of chalk with holes that made it look like a ghost. A piece of tile worn by the sea into the shape of the UK, sea glass…
A tower of Lego stood at the back of Zeph’s desk, an elaborate stack of world upon world. A sea at the base complete with fish and a shipwreck, a house and garden above, a tech world, then a forest and waterfall, a city street, the sky with stars and spaceships, finally an alien world above that. It was ingenious and he wondered when Zeph had made it. Jack had never been bought Lego. Never had the chance to play with it. Toys hadn’t been part of his childhood before or after Thomas had taken him from the burning house. Though Thomas had purchased board games, logic games, science kits and they’d played with those.
In those early years with Thomas, Jack had made his own little kingdom in the garden and the trees that abutted the house. Lines of sticks were troops of soldiers who protected beetles. He’d made gardens with wildflowers for tiny fantasy creatures to live in, and a dragon king from a strangely shaped piece of wood. He replayed the stories Thomas read him, fairy tales at first, then stories about Greeks and Romans, Achilles and Hannibal. It had been a good childhood but not like that of any other child. The stories he read told him that.
Then childhood had gone and he was an adult before his time, a mini version of Thomas. And that was okay. It really was. But Thomas had been the one to send him to school. He’d put temptation in his way.
Now Zeph was in his life. When they’d held each other and kissed tonight, Jack’s desperation had alarmed him. He wanted more. He’d been as shocked as he had in the bathroom at school at the surge of hormones, the flood of lust, need… He’d notwanted to stop. How could Zeph have this effect on him? Was this part of Thomas’s plan too? Letting him understand desire? How to resist?
He fell asleep unsure whether he felt confused or happy, maybe both, and wondering if it was safe to feel anything.
Jack was at school at the usual time on Monday, before Zeph was due to arrive, just in case Rufus and Scott tried anything. But when the bus pulled up, Zeph’s stepsisters were first off and when Alice spotted Jack, she hurried over. No limp. A quick recovery.
“Hi, Jack. Oh…” She giggled. “That sounds like hijack. Has anyone ever said that to you? Hi, Jack. It’s a hijack.” Another giggle.
Oh God.
“How come you weren’t at school on Friday?”
“I was ill.”
“Oh no. Are you better now?”
“I’m fine, thanks.”
With no chance of talking privately to Zeph, who was already heading for the door, Jack went after him. Alice was holding a one-sided conversation about something she’d seen on the TV. How the hell was he going to stop her doing this? They split up as they walked in.
“See you later!” she chirped.
Not if he could help it. At least computer studies were the only lessons they shared. And PE. She wouldn’t try the same trick twice, would she?
Zeph turned to him as he sat at his desk. “You survived Alice?”
“Barely. Did you run yesterday?”
“All on my own.”
“Sorry.”
“I missed you.”
Jack started to smile, then smothered it.
“I brought you a sandwich again for lunch. Want to meet in the park? I promise not to crush the life out of it this time.”
Jack nodded.
