Page 86 of Everything That Kills Me
Shit.“That wasn’t… I didn’t…” Zeph groaned.
Jack took his hand. “It’s okay. I know what you meant. So what would you have asked for?”
Zeph couldn’t bring himself to say—don’t leave me. “I’ll think about it.”
“And ask me at a point when I can’t say no?”
“Ah.Nowthat’s exactly what I’ll do.”
They arrived back at the house still hand in hand. Somehow, they made it upstairs without making too much noise, though Jack was testing each step and Zeph was struggling not to giggle.
Inside the room, Zeph put on the light and Jack flicked it off. There was enough illumination coming through the thincurtains for them to see. Jack pulled him into his arms and swayed as if they were still dancing.
“Apart from learning how to waltz with Thomas, which is apparently a skill everyone should have, I’ve never danced before. When we were doing this as that fake snow fell around us, all I could think about was fucking you.” Jack pressed his hands into the small of Zeph’s back.
Oh God.“Part of you definitely was.”
Jack laughed. “You noticed?”
“The large hard thing poking me in the stomach? Yes, I noticed.”
“Thank you for noticing.”
Except what if he was hopeless when Jack fucked him? But the slightly vulnerable look on Jack’s face undid him. His eyes were hot, dark and unfathomable, as if he was navigating unfamiliar emotions.
Jackets were cast aside along with bow ties. They began unbuttoning each other’s shirts, only remembering the cufflinks when they found their arms stuck. But finally, the shirts were off and their chests were bare. Zeph trailed his fingers over the short stubble of Jack’s chin, the bulge of his biceps, the dips and curves of his torso, trying not to linger on the scars. He longed to ask how Jack had got them, but didn’t. Then again, he was glad Jack hadn’t asked about the scar on his leg.
Their trousers, shoes and socks were removed next. Jack pulled him in again and they rutted against each other, their cocks tenting their shorts. When Zeph nipped Jack’s collarbone, he moaned. Zeph wanted to suck at his skin, to leave a mark,hismark. But he wasn’t sure Jack would like it and, in any case, it would disappear in time, a reminder that Jack would never be his, so Zeph held back.
Jack cupped his face in his hands, kissed him long and hard and Zeph could think of nothing but Jack. He only came out his trance when Jack picked him up and threw him on the bed.
“Hey!” Zeph gave a startled cry.
Jack dropped down next to him, peeling off Zeph’s shorts and wrapping his hand around him. Zeph’s eyes floated shut and he sank into the mattress, pushing his cock into Jack’s fist, over and over, needing more. More entailed forcing his eyes open, but then he became fixated on the way the tip of his cock kept appearing and disappearing between the ring of Jack’s fingers. If he kept that up, Zeph was going to come. He leaned up so his cheek was against Jack’s chest and could feel his heart beating. Fast. He dropped back to the bed.
“You’re so beautiful,” Jack whispered.
Zeph melted at the endearment. They came rarely from Jack, which made them precious, even though Zeph didn’t think he was the beautiful one.
“I meant it when I said I wanted to fuck you,” Jack whispered. “Can I?”
“Yes.” Zeph’s heart was going crazy. “I bought…stuff.”
“What did you buy?”
“Handcuffs, whips, cock rings, dildos. I probably forgot something.”
Jack laughed.
Before he lost his nerve, Zeph wriggled off the bed. “I’m going to have a shower.”
“I’ll have one with you.”
“There’s not enough room.”
“We’ll make room.”
There really wasn’t enough room but Zeph didn’t care. Being pressed together under the water made his heart race. Then Jack’s fingers inside him stopped his heart altogether. Theywere both hard and Zeph grew increasingly desperate to come, but Jack wouldn’t let him.
