Page 87 of Everything That Kills Me
“Wait,” he kept saying.
Once they were out of the shower, Zeph grabbed a towel.
Jack tossed it aside. “Enough with the delaying tactics. On the bed. On your back. And where are the handcuffs, whips, cock rings and dildos?”
Zeph dropped down on the bed. “In the desk drawer. They might be invisible.”
Jack put an unopened box of condoms and a bottle of lube on the bed, then lay by Zeph.
“Okay?” Jack asked.
“Well…” But Zeph smiled so Jack would know he was sort of okay.
His brain was in overdrive, so many thoughts falling over themselves that he was almost suffocated by them. He wasn’t afraid. No one would do this if it was something to be scared of, but he was tense. Jack leaned over and Zeph could feel his breath hitting his neck, before he settled on top of him. His cock nestled between Zeph’s thighs, lodged beneath his balls. Hard, warm, silky and wet, Jack flexed his hips, shunting along that sensitive strip of skin, humming and sighing against Zeph’s neck.
“You always smell so good,” Jack whispered.
He tugged Zeph’s hair until he turned his head for a kiss. Jack kissed him so gently, Zeph began to relax. He grew warmer, heat spreading down his chest, his arms, his legs, then moving from all those places to centre on his belly, before spreading out again.
When Jack shifted back and Zeph missed the weight of his body, he opened his eyes to protest. The sound died on his lips when he saw the way Jack was looking at him, as though Zeph was his world.
This was what it was like to be wanted.
This was what he’d been waiting for.
“Do we need a condom?” Jack asked.
The spell broke and panic surged. Memories of the way his father had ranted about Martin…Bad enough that his sister said she was a man but now she was being fucked in the arse by a guy?Then the warnings Martin had given him…Be careful. Always use protection…filled his head. Zeph’s cock began to wilt.
Zeph had never been with anyone before Jack, but… Jack had.
“I’ve never had sex without one,” Jack said. “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable.” He reached for a condom and the lube.
“It’s okay,” Zeph whispered. “I’ve had a lengthy internal debate and it’s fine.” Had he? Was it?
Jack leaned over and kissed him. “I’m not going to push you. If you… I’m regularly tested. Shit, that makes it sound as though I sleep around. I don’t. I’m careful.”
“Okay,” Zeph repeated. Did he manage that a little more confidently? “No condom.” Then he added, so Jack knew he was really okay, “But the whole bottle of lube. Please.”
“Zeph…”
“I’m fine.”
“Bend your knees.”
When Jack slid his lubed finger along Zeph’s taint, everything except his cock was rigid. Jack kept kissing and caressing him.
“I’ve gone soft,” Zeph blurted. “Shit! I didn’t mean to say that. Donotlaugh.”
“Babe, I’d never laugh.”
It was thebabethat did all the right things, cracked the shell of Zeph’s fear, hardened his cock, melted his worry and he went so puddle-like he fretted his clearly dissolving body had wet thebed. Jack pressed his finger harder against the entrance to his body, circled and pushed and Zeph stopped breathing.
Even though Jack was slow and careful, Zeph felt as if he was being penetrated by something much larger than a finger. He soon would be. But this hurt.
“Remember to keep breathing,” Jack whispered.
Zeph sucked in a breath. Just one.
