Page 24 of Light Up
Six
Well, shit!Corey’s naked exit from the bathroom hadn’t quite worked out as he’d hoped. When he’d passed the bath, he’d taken a quick glance across to see Tal up to his neck in foam, eyes closed.Damn.Not gay then, because wouldn’t a gay guy have looked? Just out of curiosity? Then something made Corey turn at the door and he’d seen Tal staring at him. At his face, not his dick, but Tal didn’t stop staring. Nor did he blink.So heisgay?
Then Tal closed his eyes and Corey’s burgeoning smile slid from his face and he fled into the bedroom. That long look from Tal hadn’t meantget in the bath with mebutwhat the fuck do you think you’re staring at? The idea that Tal was gay disappeared like a sandcastle struck by a large wave. Utter annihilation.
Though didn’t that leave a bump in the sand, a little bit of hope?
Why do I do this to myself?
Corey’s gaydar was a temperamental, glitchy sort of app. Sometimes it pinged so hard, he got an instant boner, only to see the object of his lust walk into the arms of some gorgeous woman.Oops and damn.
Or his gaydar didn’t ping at all, which led to him spending far too much time ogling a guy he’d eventually decide was straight and not worth sidling up to, only to see him lock lips with another man.Oops and damn again.
It was all very well knowing what you wanted, but if you weren’t brave enough to go for it, then that said everything. In any case, Corey wasn’t exactly sure he did know what he wanted. Oh well, he’d not entirely given up hope with Tal.
He’d spotted Tal’s black Andrew Christian underwear lying by his towel next to the bath.Popular with gay guys.Corey’s underwear was also black but came in a pack of five from Asda.We have so little in common.But he wasn’t going to flaunt his nakedness in front of a guy who wasn’t interested.
When Corey opened his bag, everything inside was wet.Shit!He quickly unzipped his guitar case, but it had lived up to its claim to be waterproof.Phew.Clothes could be dried. A wet guitar would have been disastrous. It was his most precious possession.
But Corey’s look-at-my-lovely-arse stroll out of the bathroom had left him with nothing to cover his bits unless he went back in to get a towel. He retrieved his toiletries from the wet bag, and after he’d poked his head around the door of the room to check no one was in the corridor, he put all his wet stuff outside next to the things Tal had already left there.
He was on his way back into the bathroom to get a towel, when he spotted a tartan throw on the arm of one of the chairs. That would work. He wrapped himself up in it, Braveheart style, before he went to clean his teeth. Tal’s eyes were closed. He didn’t appear to have moved.Oh God, he’s movie star gorgeous.So many of Corey’s boxes were ticked. Even his cultured voice turned Corey on. He could imagine Tal pleading with him, imagine him on his…Shit! Stop it!The one box that probably wouldn’t be ticked even if others were.
Tal had laid out all his toiletries in a line on top of a neatly folded towel. He seemed a very up-tight sort of guy. He probably made his bed the moment he rolled out of it, never left a dirty mug unwashed and lived in a place where no dust would dare to settle. Corey liked things to be neat and tidy too, but he wasn’t obsessive about it. Tal looked the type to bark orders, someone who’d expect to be obeyed. Though he hadn’t done that as they’d walked here. Setting aside Corey’s panic attack, he was the one who’d taken charge andkept Tal going. Maybe that was because Tal was in shock. Corey was too, but he was stronger and more determined than he looked.
He brushed his teeth, made sure he’d left the basin clean because he wasn’t a slob, then wiped his mouth.
On the way past the bath, he hesitated, then said, “I hope you’re asleep and not dead.”
“I hope so too.”
They were still speaking then. Good. Corey would have hated to have offended him. Back in the bedroom, he grabbed a pillow—there were four on the bed so he didn’t think Tal would miss one—and curled up on a chair under the throw. He’d thought he’d fall asleep the moment he closed his eyes, but he didn’t. He felt wide awake. His mind was playing its usual trick of latching onto things he’d rather not think about. So much for only dealing with immediate issues.
But…
What if the snow melted overnight and they were no longer trapped? He’d have to go to Jim and Debra’s place but via his car to pick up what remained of the contents of his box, assuming the boot hadn’t been ransacked by desperate squirrels. Even if a neighbour told Jim he was staying there, his uncle wouldn’t come all the way back from Spain to throw Corey out. Nor would he send the police, he didn’t think. It gave him time to breathe.
But for the time being, he was stuck. The snow had trapped more than the two of them. All the other hotel guests and employees were stranded too. A tiny bit of Corey hoped the snow didn’t melt, nor get cleared by a snowplough so they had to stay for a few days. Yes, he’d end up in horrible debt but when would he ever get the chance to stay somewhere so nice? Maybe he could work here, pay off what he owed. He perked up. A job here was a great idea! He’d ask Jefferson tomorrow.
There was no noise coming from the bathroom. He hoped Tal hadn’t fallen asleep. How easy was it to drown in the bath? Probably not very, unless you were drunk or drugged, so there was no point rushing in and pretending to rescue him. Wasthere? What was Corey hoping would happen? On a scale of one to ten, what was enough? He smiled. He liked theenoughquestion.
Assuming Tal, with his short dark hair, navy-blue eyes and thin lips, reclining in the foam-filled bath a short distance away was gay, big clue—Andrew Christian underwear—even though Corey had convinced himself he wasn’t, then was hot sex with him enough? Did Corey really need all the rest that he’d convinced himself was what he wanted?
If he was being honest with himself, the likelihood of anyone coming into his life who ticked the particular needy item in that list ofwhat I’m looking for in a partnerwas basically zero. He frequently wondered if it was time to give up looking. So much for being strong and determined, but he was also a realist. But not defeatist. He’d always cling to a bit of hope, be ready to grab some dangling string that might just come into reach. It was the way he was. Glass half-full, not half-empty.
If he could only be braver. He knew he didn’t shoutI want to be in chargeat anyone, even himself.Ha!He was too young, too skinny, too short, too mouthy, too scatty, too desperate… There was altogethertoomuch wrong with him. Mentally and physically. Corey was all angles, sharp elbows and bony knees, addicted to black eyeliner and bright nail varnish, fond of his blue-tinged hair and tight arse-hugging jeans and silly T-shirts. He wasn’t into expensive haircuts, designer three-piece suits and silver cufflinks—not on himself, but… Wow, on Tal! Yes! They turned him on.
When he’d told guys what he was looking for—admittedly there had only been three, they’d laughed at him, told him to grow up, that he didn’t have the right attitude, that he couldn’t possibly know what he wanted at his age. Though they’d assumed he was a few years younger than he was.
One man had dragged him to a quiet place in a club, given him a lecture about keeping safe that Corey didn’t need, then tried to assault him.Corey had learned how to look after himself so the guy hadn’t got anywhere. But now he would always tread carefully, if he decided to tread at all. So no more flirting with Tal. He needed to stay on the guy’s good side or he wouldn’t even have a chair to sleep on. Best not to say anything or do anything to make things awkward.
Though if Talwasgay, then maybe Corey could sleep in the bed and not on the chair and he might get a fuck or a blowjob, or vice versa, and that would be great. Well, notgreatbut nice. He’d settle for nice. He always settled for nice.Oh my God! Listen to me! Tal isn’t gay!
Corey shifted position. He was driving himself nuts, not knowing one way or the other. Plus, he might not even be Tal’s type, let alone Tal being what Corey really wanted.Let it go.So much for thinking he was a glass half-full sort of person. But in his head, he could see Tal on his knees in front of him because Corey wanted him there and because Tal wanted to be there. He longed to know what it felt like to have a guy like Tal under his control, doing what he told him. He didn’t want it to be a fantasy. He wanted it to be a reality.
But…
Sometimes circumstances were such that dreams had to be enough.
