Page 45 of Light Up
So much for Corey shutting up. He had this image in his head of Corey confronting Dorian and not backing down and it almost made him smile because Dorian would be horror-struck at the idea of Corey being a dom. Well, horror-struck and amused. Surprisingly, Tal found himself willing to talk about Dorian. Maybe Corey would learn something.
“We were together for over a year. Dorian’s an extremely successful hedge fund manager, which should’ve been a warning sign that he could be controlling, driven and utterly ruthless when he sets his mind on something. He overpowered me from the outset,physically and mentally. I see now that I was love-bombed by a narcissist. Flattered, bought gifts, taken to Paris, flown to New York… At the start, everything was good. More than good. He wanted me to move in with him after a few months, and I half did but kept my place. At least I had some sense of self-preservation. Though Dorian pressed and pressed for me to give up my home.”
Corey moved to sit next to him. Not too close.
“Dorian changed. Told me I was boring. Said we needed to liven things up. Group sex. Exhibitionism. I gave way on a few things I shouldn’t have. Then he wanted to do…things that he knew were a hard no for me. I told him no, and he withheld affection. When we were… He pushed, promised to stop if it wastoo much and persuaded me to try. He ended up not listening to our safe word and hurt me. Frightened me. I finished with him that night.”
“Good.”
Tal winced. “He wouldn’t accept that we were over. He apologised, claimed he was in domspace because of the effect I had on him. He told me it was my fault he’d lost control.”
Corey bristled. “Domspace? That’s such a cop out. It was up to him to keep you safe. Not your fault. The bastard.”
“He pleaded with me not to throw away what we had. He promised he’d change, that he’d never hurt me again.”
“Oh shit. You gave him another chance.”
“I shouldn’t have, but I did. Ten days later, I required hospital treatment after we’d played. Then we were truly done. He still managed to make it look to his friends and colleagues as though he’d dumped me, that I’d failed in some way. He knew I wouldn’t make a fuss.”
“You should have.”
“But that isn’t me. I closed down, shut myself away and licked my wounds.”
“You’re still licking them.” Corey took hold of his hand under the water and Tal let him. “I’m sad that happened to you. I get that trusting anyone after that is a big deal. Do you have friends who look out for you?”
“Two good friends.”
“Two more than me,” Corey muttered almost inaudibly.
Tal sucked in a breath. “You don’t have friends?”
“I did, once upon a time, but something bad happened just before Christmas and now I don’t. I…can’t risk it. Are you looking for someone else?”
“Not for a young man who’s just figuring things out.”
“Ouch!” Corey grabbed at his chest. “I’ve not made myself very appealing, have I? Even though I think you’re really hot. And just what I was looking for.”
“Some of what you said was very appealing.”
“Let me guess. That I want to bring my partner so much pleasure he could barely cope, that I want to bring him to the brink, time after time…?”
Tal smiled. “Who wouldn’t want that? And give him… what was it you said? Toe-curling, back-arching, heart-stopping, breath-stealing orgasms? That’s…rather ambitious.”
“You remembered?”
“How could I not?”
“I want romance too,” Corey whispered, then gasped as he looked up to see snow falling. “Wow. What timing.” He laughed, tilting his face to the falling snow and Tal didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so beautiful.
“Everyone should believe in romance,” Corey said. “It doesn’t have to be soppy unless you want it to be. No need for lots oflove yousand leaving little messages and having special names for each other… I see romance as an adventure, the chance to be with someone who likes the same things as I do—snow glistening on a sunny day, walking in the rain, looking up at stars, cloud spotting, travelling to far-flung places and exploring them together, snow falling while you sit in a hot tub. Romance is not accepting the ordinary, it’s daring to be different. I am different and I think you are too.”
Tal couldn’t take his eyes off him.
“I want you—I meanhimto come apart because of what I do to him. I want to bring him joy and peace and fulfilment. I want him to feel safe and protected. I want it to be love between him and me. For… Forever.”
Tal’s heart clenched.Oh my God.Corey’s words had touched him more than he could reveal. Did all doms startoff thinking that? Even Dorian? Maybe. But too many of them ended up behaving selfishly. Corey was so earnest, open and unafraid. It made Tal ache with longing. The hole in his life left by Dorian had never felt deeper. It wasn’t fair to let Corey try to fill it. But…Oh God, I am tempted.At that moment, Tal didn’t see the gap in their ages. He only saw vulnerability and beauty, passion and sincerity. He was mesmerised by this fragile young man.
“Thank you for listening to me,” Corey whispered. “Maybe the champagne was a good thing because I have to go and lie down before I pass out. Saves any awkwardness. I want to do the biscuit decorating though. Will you wake me for that?”
