Page 59 of Light Up
When Corey smiled it lit up Tal’s world. His smile seemed so effortless. Tal mostly had to think about smiling to ensure his lips curved the right way. Yet Corey made him smile without thinking.
“Come and sit down.”
Corey stomped over, shoulders down, and slumped on the chair opposite, cowboy hat still in place, tilted forward. The image of teenage petulance, even though he wasn’t a teenager.
“That doesn’t sound good.” Corey turned in the chair and slung his legs over an arm. “I have to admit, I’d thought we’d both be naked by now.” He took off the hat and let it drop to the floor. “I guess you’ve been thinking about what we talked about, rather than what we did because that part was great. We were good together.” He paused. “Weren’t we?”
Corey sounded so vulnerable, Tal could only say, “Yes.”
He crossed his legs to try and hide the state of his cock. He hadn’t just been thinking about their conversation, he’d also thought how much he’d liked making Corey come. But… “I don’t know how to help you.”
Corey sucked in his cheeks. “Help me?”
Tal recognised pissed off when he saw it. “I don’t want you to head off into a situation where you might fall prey to some of the more dangerous elements of the BDSM world.”
“Now I’m torn between being cross that you don’t think I can take care of myself and touched that you’re worried about me.”
“You told me someone tried to assault you in a club, that your last experience wasn’t good.”
“Two different occasions. I handled the first. And I told you the last time I had sex, the guy was…not very considerate. It wasn’t rape. Okay? If you really want to help me, then show me how to be a good dom so I can deliver what my sub needs.”
“I…can’t.”
“Why not? It’s negotiated dynamics, I know. But… We can pretend. You could tell me what you’d like a dom to do for you. We skirted around it before.”
No, no, no, no, no.Tal had the horrible suspicion that Corey would just agree with everything he said.
“Guess that’s a hard no.” Corey frowned. “But isn’t that what has to happen? You have to set rules and stuff? We could print a list ofyes, no and maybes.”
“Which requires internet access and asking the hotel to print it. Do we really need the hotel staff seeing what we’re talking about? Even if we shared it on our phones, we’d still need WiFi.”
“Oh.”
Tal backtracked. “Why don’t you write a list of what you’d like to do, what you’re prepared to do, and what you won’t do. Maybe I can point you towards someone…”
“Okay.” Corey went to the desk and came back with two sheets of paper and two pens. “You do the same.”
Tal didn’t reach out.
“Please,” Corey said. “Thisiswhat I ought to do with a sub, right? Set boundaries? Let’s just pretend it’s us.”
Tal capitulated. He made three columns.Won’t dowas the easiest to complete. He thought about Corey’s passionate delivery of the list of things he didn’t want to do and sighed. Tal included all the main kinks that weren’thiskinks, adding a few extreme ones. HisWill dowas nowhere near as long. Then hethought about what he’d done at Dorian’s…insistence, coercion, pleasure-pain pressure, and wavered over whether to add those or not.No. Don’t.He might have done them but that didn’t mean he wanted to do them again.
They were added to thewon’t dolist. Tal didn’t like the St Andrew’s Cross, nor being hit on the soles of his feet, or being struck with a whip. Nor mummification, straitjackets, group sex, voyeurism… As he continued to write, he realised how much he’d done with Dorian that he wasmorethan uncomfortable with, how Dorian had wheedled and worked on him until Tal had given way. He felt ashamed he’d done any of it.
InLike to do, he put orgasm control, orgasm denial, rope bondage especially Shibari—even the thought of that beautiful Japanese rope work made him shiver. He added anal plugs, cock cages, breath control but mild constriction.
Shit. Is that all?
“Swap?” Corey offered his sheet of paper. When Tal took it in his fingers, Corey didn’t let go. “Just wanted to say, what I’ve put down makes no difference to me liking you. If we can’t play, well then, we don’t play. If one of us was into 24/7 stuff that would be an issue, but you said you weren’t and neither am I…” Then he let go.
Corey curled up on the chair. He’d closed his eyes and clutched Tal’s list so hard, it wrinkled in his fingers. Tal swallowed at the lump in his throat. What the hell had Corey written? He glanced at the paper. More than a list. He’d written sentences. Tal’s mouth was dry. Corey had started withwhat I’d like to do.
I want to bring my partner pleasure not pain. I want to find out how to control their pleasure. I want them to want to come and me not let them come, not straightaway. I want to learn my partner’s body and know it better than they do. I don’t want to humiliate them, I want to love them.
Tal’s heart was galloping. He knew this. Corey had told him. But reading it…
I want to overstimulate my partner with sex toys that can work faster than my hips. I want to bind them with beautiful rope work. I want to use cock cages on us both. I want us to be kind to each other. I’m not into pain. No whipping or flogging. But I want to be in control.
