Page 90 of Light Up
“No, I shouldn’t,” Louis said.
“And did you tell Tal why I was in psychiatric care?”Oh God.
“No.”
Corey huffed. “Only, nowIhave to. At some point, I’d have told him, but you took the choice of timing away from me. You had no right to do that. I know I’m not anything special. I don’t have a bright future all laid out ahead of me. I know Tal is clever and talented and gorgeous. He can do anything. He has a brilliant job and he should get chosen to design enclosures for penguins in foreign zoos. I’m nowhere near his equal. I know that. But I’m only twenty-two. I have time to grow into what I should be. And I will. I’m already a better person than you because I wouldn’t have done what you did.”
“I’m sorry.” Louis looked sorry. Except was he just trying to save his own sorry arse?
“You should be sorry, but thank you for saying it. Don’t worry. I’m not going to report you or anything. I know you only did it because you care about Tal. But you can’t choose his friends for him. I’d never hurt him. Probably not even if he asked me to. But I know what he wants and I can be what he wants. I have been already.”Please don’t ask me to explain that.
All three of them looked completely bewildered.
Corey shrugged. “So…assuming you’re not going to throw me out…pizza?”
“What do you like on it?” Benjamin blurted. “Don’t say pineapple but we have everything else. We make them ourselves. I’ve made the dough. We have a pizza oven. A gas one. Weeat them inside and then go outside and watch a Christmas film projected onto the wall at the bottom of the garden. We have sleeping bags and blankets and chairs to lie on. And we stay warm and though you two can’t have alcohol, we have hot chocolate—”
“We don’t like hot chocolate,” Tal and Corey spoke at the same time, then smiled at each other.
“I forgot, Tal… Sorry.”
Corey could tell that Benjamin was worried because of the same outpouring of words that Corey resorted to when he was nervous.
“Weirdos, not liking hot chocolate,” Louis said. “Maybe you two are suited.”
Corey’s pizza was the best he’d ever had. Better than those he’d served in the restaurant. He’d put the toppings on himself; a little tomato sauce, a lot of cheese and strips of Parma ham on top. Louis had taken it outside to cook. That was the only snag, that they couldn’t all eat at the same time, but Corey was still only halfway through his when Louis came in with the final pizza for himself. Louis and Benjamin had red wine. Corey and Tal were drinking a non-alcoholic Cabernet Sauvignon. Well, that’s what Benjamin had said it was. It tasted okay. Not as nice as champagne. Corey smiled to himself. Then his smile slipped. Had he ever even drunk it?
The mood in the room was a bit strange. No one was exactly chatting and Corey felt it was up to him to improve the situation.
“The pizza is very good,” Corey said. “Thank you. I like the way the ham crisps up on top. I’ve never had that before.”
“Bit of a crime to put Parma ham onbeforeit’s been cooked,” Louis said. “Usually it goes on afterwards, but I like it crispy too.”
One thing they had in common.One.Oh, and they both liked Tal.Two.And they were both doms. Corey was sure of that. Well, surer about Louis than himself.
“I used to be a waiter in an Italian restaurant and this pizza is much nicer than any I served.”
“Thank you,” Benjamin said. “Louis’ an expert with the oven now but the first few we made fell apart.”
Everyone went quiet again.
Corey had to keep trying. “What film are we going to watch?”
“We usually choose a Christmas film, but Tal…” Benjamin stopped talking.
“Doesn’t like Christmas,” Louis said. “He never has. It’s always been a struggle to get him to show a bit of Christmas spirit.”
Tal shrugged. “My parents didn’t make a big thing of it. We had a small tree. One present each. My father was in the diplomatic service and was posted all over the world. Many of the jobs weren’t in places that celebrated Christmas.”
“Are your parents still alive?” Corey asked.
“Yes. They live in New Zealand.”
“Oh wow, could they have got any further away from you?”
Tal laughed, then said, “Your uncle’s on holiday in Spain.”
Corey beamed at him. “Yes.”
