Page 33 of Rock the Cradle of Love
“See you Friday.”
Noah hangs up feeling better. He’s going to take Ms. Padget at her word and worry as little as possible.
He calls his mother to let her know he and Emma are coming tomorrow.
His finger hovers over Taylor’s contact. He’s not ready to talk about what happened between them, but this hearing is important and it’s still going to weigh on him. It’s not like Taylor can do much, but he loves Emma and he cares about Noah. He’ll be moral support at least, right? Noah presses the screen, but Taylor’s phone goes straight to voicemail. Noah frowns. Either the battery died or Taylor’s ignoring him. But it’s not like Taylor to let his phone die, so Noah can only surmise that Taylor doesn’t want to talk to him. He’s not sure what to think about that.
“This is Taylor Bell. Leave a message at the beep.”
Beep.
“Taylor, it’s me. I…I got a notice about a hearing in regards to Emma. It’s Friday. I thought you’d want to know. Anyway…I’m leaving for Ten Rigs in the morning. I know we need to talk about us, too. Call me. Please…”
* * *
By the time Noah’s pulling Emma’s carrier out of the back seat of his car, his mother is coming down the front porch steps.
“Noah, honey, I’m so glad to see you. How was the drive?” Her gray hair is piled on her head in a mass, and her smile fades when she sees his face.
“The drive was fine, but life sucks right this very moment, Mom, and I need you.” He’d told her about the hearing when he’d called, but hadn’t mentioned what happened with Taylor. Taylor still hasn’t called back, and his phone still goes directly to voicemail.
Taylor’s silence hurts. More than Noah imagined it would after only dating for a few weeks.
“Oh, honey…” Warm, loving arms encircle him, and he sags into his mother’s embrace as best he can with an infant carrier between them. She runs a smoothing hand down his back and then lets him go. “Come on. You hungry?”
He shakes his head. He’d forced himself to eat breakfast before he left, but he’s got no appetite.
After he’s unbundled Emma and changed her, leaving her on the floor with some toys, his mother pulls him to the sofa. He sits on one end facing her and she sits on the other, mirroring him.
“What’s going on? Where’s Taylor?” Her voice is soft, her face sympathetic. It’s been so long since his mother played the role of confidant. Steve’s been his sounding board for years now, but sometimes you just need your mom.
His breath hitches as he sighs. The ball of upset in his stomach returns to a simmer. “I don’t know. We had a fight. He left. I haven’t heard from him.”
Noah should have known better. A guy like Taylor needs more than Noah can give him. He’d seemed so earnest and accepting and willing to try. But then he’d doneresearchand made assumptions about Noah’s sexuality without even talking with Noah. Now there’s a communications blackout.
“We had a…I don’t even know what to call it.” He scans the living room. It’s not his childhood home, but it reminds him a lot of the house he grew up in. The eclectic mix of old paintings and old books. Small abstract art pieces littering bookshelves and tabletops. New and old furniture. Not much has changed. Nothing but the house itself. The inside is even painted in similar colors. “I opened a discussion and it went bad quickly. I threw him out of the condo the other night. I was confused and angry. I didn’t understand why he would say the things he said. I still don’t really know what happened.”
“Have you called him?”
Noah nods, runs his fingers along the seam of the couch cushion. The upholstery is textured beneath his fingers. “I left him a message about the hearing. His car was at his place when I went by on my way out of town. I don’t know why he didn’t answer.” Maybe Noah shouldn’t have kicked him out.
“Perhaps he was in the shower.”
“Then why hasn’t he returned my call?”
“I don’t know, honey.”
Maybe they should have continued the conversation until they’d come to an understanding. The things Taylor said confused him, though. Calm rational discussions about sex are difficult enough for Noah. Trying to talk about sex in the heat of the moment, when he was already upset, had made him feel like a puck bouncing out of control down the ice.
“Maybe he’s just as confused as you. Give him time.”
“Yeah…”
Emma squawks just then and Noah lets out a breath of relief. Caring for her is easy, it’s welcome. He laughs humorlessly at the thought. A month ago he had no idea what he was doing. Thanks to Taylor, Noah’s more than capable now. He scoops her up and, when she’s in his arms, it’s easy to forget everything else. Except he can’t not think about Taylor. Taylor’s been a part of Noah’s and Emma’s days since the beginning. Noah misses him like crazy, but he’s reached out. There’s not much he can do until Taylor contacts him.
The day passes with conversation about Emma’s progress since she arrived in Noah’s life, the colic seems to be completely gone, finally; tales of Mom’s students and classes this past semester; the Rotors’ season; and Mom’s garden, among other things. They drive to Big Springs to buy some baby furniture for Mom to keep, and they hit the grocery store on the way home. Noah puts together another crib, highchair, and swing, while Mom dotes on Emma as well as on Noah, cooking all his childhood favorites for dinner. Once Emma’s down for the night, Mom turns in to read. Despite all the running around they did that day, Noah feels antsy.
He hasn’t had any sort of real workout since the season ended. After changing into running clothes, he leaves a note on his bed, and slips out into the late spring night. It’s warm, but not unbearably so. The physicality feels good; his exercise regimen has fallen by the wayside since Emma’s arrival, and he can definitely feel the lack. He’ll have to figure how to juggle working out and parenting and housekeeping and hockey. And a boyfriend. If he still has one.
