Page 26 of Coming to Grips
In the shower.
What’s he supposed to think or say? What does it mean? Does it mean anything? Is Chase supposed to thank Kyle? Is he supposed to return the favor? Is Kyle even affected?
Kyle dries Chase’s back and right side and arm. “Good night,” he says, his voice sounding completely calm, normal.
The door snicks shut before Chase can utter a reply. The walls vibrate slightly when Kyle’s bedroom door closes a moment later.
Chase yanks the towel from his head and finishes drying himself off. His reflection in the mirror peers back at him with flushed cheeks, whether from the shower or being jacked off, he isn’t sure.
Could what they’d just done be considered sex? One-sided sex, to be sure, but still... Screw covering himself. Kyle’s in his room and the bathroom door’s a few feet from Chase’s bedroom door. He makes a break for it.
Chase climbs into bed, his thoughts churning wildly. What had Kyle been thinking? Showering together is already a way more intimate activity than platonic friends usually share, but with his arm—special circumstances. Kyle, being gay, knows another man’s dick is off limits unless they’re together or in a place where it’s expected, like a club or something. Chase has no inkling as to why Kyle would have taken such a chance...
What Chase does know, awkwardness and curiosity aside, is that Kyle’s hand on his dick had felt better than anything he’d experienced in years—despite having a girlfriend and sex on the regular. That, and his world view has tilted on its axis. Kyle touched him—masturbated him—and it had felt so, so good. But how’s he supposed to feel about the fact that it happened at all? How’s he supposed to feel about Kyle? He won’t be able to look him in the eye in the morning, that’s for sure.
Something like that isn’t really breakfast conversation, although they’ve discussed a lot of crazy things over Pop Tarts or cold pizza over the years... For the first time in their ten-year-plus friendship, things are going to be a bit awkward.
What if Kyle wants to do it again the next time they shower? Chase’s gut swoops at the thought. Does he want to do it again?Yesblooms in his brain like a flower during time-lapse photography.
It’s after two in the morning at this point, but Chase can’t help himself...he grasps his dick with his clumsy left hand and strokes himself to the memory of Kyle’s hand on his body. It takes a little longer this time, but he comes again. His body’s sated, but his mind is buzzing.
Chase knows, as surely as he knows the sun is gonna rise, that if Kyle wants to do it again, he won’t say no.
* * *
What the fuck has he just done? Kyle has to get out of the bathroom. He pats Chase dry and forces himself to say good night and sound normal doing it. Chase hides under his towel, and Kyle can’t blame him.
Kyle flees to his room and shoves the door closed hard enough to rattle the cabin. He winces and hopes Chase is too preoccupied to give Kyle’s flight too much significance.
His cock throbs, aches for attention... Bracing himself with one hand on the door, he grabs his cock with the other. A combination of relief and need quiver through him. He’d give anything to have Chase’s hand on him right now. He’s so turned on that he comes in four strokes, his chest heaving as if he’s been chased by White Lightning, the meanest bull on the rodeo circuit.
After cleaning up his mess, he collapses into bed and stares at the ceiling.
What the hell had possessed him to break down and touch Chase? He’s known about Chase’s hard-ons from the very first night they showered—over a week ago now. At the time, Kyle’d passed it off as nothing more than an involuntary physical reaction to being in the shower and having someone’s hand on him in such an intimate way.
But there was something in the air. Something about Chase’s demeanor that prickled Kyle’s gaydar.
Chase has never looked at a man before, but despite the string of girlfriends in high school and college and his relationship with Anna, Kyle knows Chase hadn’t found those relationships to be the be-all and end-all of his life. Instead, he’d been engrossed in his own activities, his education, and whatever Kyle had going on. Girlfriends were only ever afterthoughts.
Before Anna, Chase frequently forgot dates or to even call the woman in his life. That’s why most of his relationships had been so short-lived. He’d made an effort with Anna and their relationship had lasted a few years, but there were still times when she didn’t even appear to be on his radar.
But lately Chase had taken to texting Kyle throughout the day—a joke or baseball trivia or just a random observation about his day. Kyle had chalked it up to Chase being bored. He didn’t mind at all, would have gone crazy himself if he couldn’t work. But then Kyle would look up to find Chase’s eyes on him. It’d started happening more and more often and Kyle hadn’t wanted to hope. When less space seemed to be between them on the sofa while they ate or watched TV, Kyle couldn’t help but hope.
The kicker, though, was the change in Chase’s demeanor in the shower. Kyle hadn’t ascribed Chase’s erections to his own nearness, his own touch, but after multiple hard-ons, Kyle started to wonder. Today, though, Chase suddenly embraced the shower and allowed himself to enjoy the massage.
Kyle’s done enough research to know there are many points along the sexual orientation spectrum, and Chase doesn’t fit neatly into any of them even though appearances say otherwise.
Kyle had taken a huge chance.
Chase hadn’t said no, hadn’t pulled away. Instead, he’d accepted Kyle’s attentions and had come and come hard. If only Kyle could’ve watched. Wishes he could’ve seen Chase’s face. It would have been beautiful as fuck.
Kyle just hopes that Chase won’t freak out, won’t pretend that nothing happened.
