Page 66 of The Study of Poisons
Yelena stared after Margg for a while. Then, instead of going into the baths, she followed the housekeeper. Valek pressed back into the shadows, but she hurried by without spotting him. And then he realized she was skipping her bath to go taste the Commander’s dinner.
Valek had to get there first and warn the Commander not to sayanythingto her. Not until Valek could process everything and…he’d no idea. As soon as she was out of sight, he ran. She might have discovered some of the shortcuts in the castle, but he’d been living there for the last fifteen years.
She hadn’t reached the throne room yet when Valek burst into the office. He had only a few minutes.
The Commander looked up. “Is there a problem?”
“Yes, and I’ll explain later. But for now, please don’t tell Yelena anything.”
“I don’t normally.”
“Also hide any important information on your desk.”
The Commander slammed a fist on his desk. “You vouched for her. And now you’re telling me she’s a traitor.”
“She’s not. Well, not yet. It’s complicated and she’ll be here soon.”
“And you came running to tell me not to blab. To hide classified information. What the hell, Valek? Do I look like a complete moron to you?”
Any other time, Valek would have apologized, backed down, and tried to smooth things over. But he’d been blindsided by Yelena’s betrayal and the Commander’s change in personality. He’d had enough. Anger ignited in his chest.
“You’re not beingyou,” Valek said.
“What?”
“You’re acting different. I didn’t want you thinking you could trust Yelena and tell her—”
“Tell her what? Something like I changed my successor?”
“You didn’t. You wouldn’t.”
“I did.”
The hits just kept coming. “Whatever possessed you to change your successor?” Valek demanded.
“You really do want to be in charge,” the Commander said in a low, flat tone. “And now you want me to tell you my new successor so you can go assassinate him?”
The conversation had spiraled out of control and gone into the realm of ridiculous. Valek reigned in his temper and tried reason. “In the sixteen years I’ve known you, you’veneverreversed a decision. This isn’t a ploy to discover your successor. I just want to know why you changed your mind. Why now?”
“That is absolutely none of your business. You’ve pledged your loyalty to me, that means I give the orders and you obeywithout question. Do you understand?”
He understood that either the Commander and Yelena had been both acting out of character, or he had completely misread them. But as the Commander so callously reminded him, he’d sworn his allegiance, which meant following his orders.
“Always, sir,” he said in a clipped tone, suppressing the fury burning inside him.
Needing to leave before he did or said something he’d regret—or get hanged for—Valek jerked the door open. Yelena stumbled into the office and some of his anger escaped his efforts to control it. “Yelena, where the hell have you been? The Commander’s waiting for his dinner.” On the edge of exploding, Valek strode through the throne room. The other officers and advisers took one look at his expression and wisely moved from his path.
Valek had no memory of the trip back to his apartment. Once there, he released his hold on his emotions. Red hot rage, the sick knot of betrayal, and the uncertainty and fear about the Commander’s behavior rolled through his body with such strength, Valek had to move, or risk being crushed by the force of them.
This—
He paced around the living room, but the amount of energy expanded wasn’t near enough. Valek picked up his gray rocks and hurled them at the walls. The explosion caused by each impact matched the roar of his blood and gave him a tiny bit of relief.
This was why—
He heaved rock after rock until his arms ached. And it still wasn’t enough. It’d never be enough.
This was why I shouldn’t—
