Page 90 of The Study of Fire
And he had thought losing her love was painful. Yelena’s death took the agony to an extreme level. Too heart-sick to search for her body, Valek stumbled away from the charred barn. Onyx paced nervously in the pasture, but Kiki was nowhere in sight. She must have run off after Yelena… He swallowed. The taste of ashes was thick in his throat.
The house was empty. Bavol was gone. He tried to care, but at this point, nothing mattered. Life ceased to have any meaning. Any joy. Anything.
He washed off the dirt and sweat, changed into clean clothes, and sat on the couch. Valek drew out his cloud kissed dagger. The metal gleamed in the light. So many people had died, either by his hand or because of him. His life was full of death, starting with the murder of his three older brothers. It made perfect sense to end his own life. Go to the fire world and burn for his crimes. He stared at the blade, imagining the perfect angle he’d need to thrust it under his breastbone and into his heart.
Except.
Except, he had saved more lives than he had taken.
Except, if the Fire Warper won, the world would burn.
Except, Valek with his immunity to magic might be able to stop the Daviians.
He couldn’t be selfish. He couldn’t end his pain. Not yet anyway. He sheathed his dagger and finally succumbed to the exhaustion. Yelena filled his dreams.
* * *
A faint crunching sound woke him.
“Kiki,” Yelena’s voice called.
Valek was at the door without any memory of the trip. Yelena stood at the edge of the ruined barn. A ghost? Her cloak was gone and soot, ash, and burn holes peppered her clothing.
Her once long black hair had been half burned, leaving an uneven mess of spikes and longer strands behind.
She met his gaze and laughed. Then she collapsed to the ground.
Valek was beside her in an instant. Caressing her face with a finger, he couldn’t believe she’d survived. “Are you real?” he asked. “Or just some cruel joke?”
“I’m real. A real simpleton, Valek. I should never have said…I should never have done…” She drew in a deep breath. “Forgive me, please?”
Forgive her? He should be asking for her forgiveness. “Would you promise never to do it again?” he asked, thinking of her diving into the fire.
“Sorry, I can’t.”
“Then you certainly are real. A real pain in the ass, but that’s who I fell in love with.” He pulled her close, cherishing the moment. “Why were you so determined to push me away, love?”
“Fear.”
“You’ve faced fear before. What’s different?”
“I’m afraid of my magic.” The words tumbled from her mouth as if she was finally being honest with him and herself. “If I harvested enough souls, I know I would possess ample power to defeat all the warpers, including the Fire Warper. That’s tempting. Tempting enough to want to protect you fromme.”
Valek pulled back and met her gaze. “But all you need to do is ask. We wouldn’t hesitate to give you our souls to defeat the Daviians.” She already had his heart.
“No. There has to be another way.”
“And that would be…?”
“When I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.” Before he could comment, she added, “You never answered me. Am I forgiven?”
He sighed dramatically. “You’re forgiven. Will you forgive me for not rescuing you sooner?”
“Yes.”
“Now come inside, you reek of smoke.” He hated the smell.
Valek helped her to stand. She swayed, and he kept his hand on her arm.
