“Grand!”
Nicholas grinned at his friend’s genuine pleasure. He leaned back in the leather-covered chair and breathed out, feeling at peace for the first time in what seemed like an age. He recalled, again, how Miss Rowland had called him beautiful, and he tried to hide his grin. He looked over to see Andrew, head tilted, a curious expression on his face.
“What is it?” Andrew asked him.
“What?” Nicholas demanded, one side of his mouth lifting in a grin. “What is what?”
“Nothing...just thinking that you look remarkably peaceful.”
“I am,” Nicholas told him warmly. “Strange, that.”
“Why?” Andrew asked curiously.
Nicholas made a vague gesture with a hand. “No real reason,” he mused. There were, in fact, too many reasons: The fact that his grandfather’s thoughtless interference had led him to such happiness, that was one. The fact that Emily’s presence in London affected him barely at all—that was another. The third reason was that his entire family—Mama, his sisters and Henry—seemed happier, and that was the reason he felt most comfortable mentioning. “It’s just strange, how everyone seems so very happy just now. Mama, Clarissa, Marcia...even Henry.”
“Not strange,” Andrew replied. “It stands to reason. They’re happy because you are. And you’re happy because of Miss Rowland; no need to be coy about it.”
Nicholas laughed. “I suppose so.” He felt a blush creep into his cheek, and he looked away, smiling.
“Well, quite.” Andrew grinned at him; brown eyes warm with smiling. Nicholas looked at his plate, but he couldn’t hide the grin that lifted the corners of his mouth, and he didn’t want to. He was happy, and it was due to his meeting Miss Rowland, and there was nothing wrong with that. He leaned back on the chair and let himself wonder what it would be like having her as a guest at the house the next day.
Chapter 16
“And it has to be as the countess requested. You cannot argue.”
Mama’s voice rang in Bernadette’s ears even as she hurried out of the drawing room, walking as briskly as if a nest of hornets pursued her. It was afternoon, the sunshine slanting through the windows, the big oak tree casting shadow over the pianoforte in the corner.
“But, Mama...you said yourself that the Ton will laugh at me. You told me that years ago.” She felt her throat tighten and swallowed the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her.
“You’re Lady Lockwood’s invited guest and theTonneed to see you.” Mama’s answer was swift.
“Why?” she demanded, tears poised to fall.
“Because the countess says that will put an end to all this speculation in the papers.”
Bernadette swallowed again, shame and hurt filling her. She hated being the center of attention, having people whisper about her. Being obscure was one thing, but being in society’s critical eye was entirely another.
She hurried to her chamber and shut the door, sitting down heavily on the embroidered chair opposite the bed. In a few hours, she’d be meeting Nicholas’ mama. Was that not frightening enough for Mama, without her having to add Lady Lockwood’s pressures about the ball?
She took a long, slow breath, trying to steady herself.
I am going to be quite calm, and do as I see fit,she told herself firmly. So far, doing as she saw fit had been absolutely right. But she couldn’t help that a glimmer of doubt, dark as the shadow below the window, had crept into her mind.
She wasn’t a society lady. She wasn’t able to attend a ball in front of high society folk, seemingly pleased. But didn’t she understand how terrible that would be, to be scrutinized by the whole of high society? It only gave them more chances to be cruel to her. And it didn’t seem like they needed an excuse.
Bernadette took another deep breath. Sitting in her chamber thinking about the dinner was not making it any easier. She stood and went upstairs to the empty drawing room. She went to the pianoforte, inspired to play a sonata. She was still playing when the butler arrived.
“Miss Penning is here, miss.”
“Oh!” Bernadette smiled. Viola had intended to visit at teatime. It was a little early, which was even better, since then they didn’t need to share the drawing room and could talk freely. “Thank you, Mr. Hadley. Please bring tea for us?”
Mr. Hadley bowed and smiled. He seemed unusually happyand Bernadette wondered if the staff were happy for her, too. She recalled Judy’s sweet and obvious attempts to ignore them when she talked to Lord Blackburne.
Hearing footsteps in the doorway distracted her. Viola, wearing a lavender blue gown with her long hair drawn back in a bun, grinned and ran to her.
“Viola!” Bernadette exclaimed.
Viola threw her arms around her affectionately.
