“There you are! What happened?” she asked lightly. “Aren’t you going to join the others in the ballroom?”
“It’s Bernadette,” Nicholas blurted, deciding to give the real cause for his absence. “She’s not there. She’s run off somewhere. I can’t stay. I have to find her.” He looked around, heart thudding with distress.
“Has she?” His grandmother frowned. There was an odd tone to her voice, though, a bitter tone like she’d bitten a sour fruit. Nicholas frowned, mind racing to a shocking idea. “I can’t imagine why.” She didn’t sound even vaguely convincing, and the idea grew. Grandmother had insisted on Lady Emily being atevery ball. Grandmother knew them well. She had always wished Emily to be the countess after her.
“You did that.” He said it harshly, shock holding him in place. He felt as though he’d been blinded, but now, all too clearly, he saw all the facts fitting together. “You sent her out there. You knew I was there. You knew I wanted to speak to Bernadette.” He felt his stomach twist nauseously. Grandmother had been standing close to him when he invited Bernadette outside. He had barely even noticed at the time, but now he was certain he was right. She had guessed his plan and moved to counter it before he’d even had a chance to say his piece.
“She’s a fool,” Grandmother said harshly. “She should know her place.”
“What?” Nicholas breathed. He’d been hoping his grandmother would deny it, would tell him it was nonsense and that she wouldn’t dream of interfering.
“Miss Rowland. It’s ridiculous. The girl is so graceless, and she stands out horridly in high society. You can’t seriously imagine she could be a countess?”
“Grandmother.” Nicholas could hear how horribly cold his own voice was. “What did you do? What exactly have you done?”
“Nothing,” Grandmother said firmly. “I merely arranged for Emily to be where she would see her. The girl has enough sense to know Emily is an ideal countess and she is not.”
“What?” Nicholas exploded. “You mean, you really, truly, sent her out there? Knowing what would happen? Knowing whatBernadette would see? You planned it all?”
“Not exactly,” Grandmother said mildly. “I had the idea in my mind, but when I heard you invite her to the pavilion, well, I seized the opportunity.” She shrugged helplessly. “I was helping you,” she added as Nicholas’ face darkened.
“You planned this. You planned to hurt her. You planned to hurt me.” He could barely speak. “Have you any idea what you’ve done? And you can’t even apologise!”
“I was doing the best for the earldom,” his grandmother insisted.
Nicholas didn’t stay to listen, but walked past her on the stairs and hurried down to the hallway. He knew Bernadette and he knew how hurt she must be. He walked swiftly to the door, tugging on an outdoor coat and boots and hurrying into the street beyond the townhouse.
He had to find her.
Chapter 24
Bernadette looked around her bedchamber, heart pounding. Her only thought was to run. Judy was asleep—she'd told Judy she’d disrobe and comb her hair by herself. She had imagined that she’d be exhausted and wish simply to sleep. Now, she walked to her wardrobe, grabbing her travel case from where it lay unused in a corner. Her breath was tight and urgent with the need to flee. She took her two favorite gowns from where they were hanging and put them in rather haphazardly, then added some fresh stays and stockings and a pair of indoor shoes.
I need to get out of here,she thought wildly.
Aunt Rachel. That was the answer. It cannoned into her mind even as she reached for a solution. She could escape to her aunt in Yorkshire. As she disrobed, changing into a plain day-dress and hastily tying on a bonnet, she planned her trip in her mind. She could find some accommodation in London to stay the night, traveling by Hackney coach. Then she could take the mail coach in the morning. The route to Aunt Rachel’s was one she had traveled when she was just fourteen years old. Then, she’d traveled in the family coach, but the names of the towns where they stopped along the way had lodged in her mind. And even if they had not, the risk of getting lost seemed almost insignificant in comparison to the hurt and pain and confusion she was enduring.
Despite the dangers, she could not stay here.
Packing took her mind off the horror she felt. She would not allow herself to stop and think about it. She would not give in to pain.
“Miss Rowland!” A small cry from the doorway made Bernadette turn swiftly.
“Judy,” she murmured. Her maid was standing there, her hair awry, a candle in her hand. She was gazing at Bernadette in shock and Bernadette felt her throat tighten. She’d managed to ignore the fear and sadness, but now that someone was there; a person who looked at her with care and interest, not judgment and uncaring, she could not hold back any longer.
“Milady! What is the matter? Where are you going? Where are Lord and Lady Rothendale?” she added. “I didn’t hear the coach outside.”
“They’re at the ball,” Bernadette said hastily. She gripped the suitcase, scared that Judy would question her and make her question herself and her decision. “I can’t stay here, Judy,” she explained desperately. “I can’t stay.”
“Why, milady? Whatever happened?” she asked caringly.
Bernadette started sobbing. She breathed in, with tears running down her face. “I can’t, Judy,” she exclaimed through sobs. “I can’t stay.”
“Milady? Where will you go?” Judy asked. Bernadette took a steadying breath. Judy had not questioned her. Thatstrengthened her decision.
“I will go to stay at Aunt Rachel’s,” she said decisively. “She invited me.”
“But that’s miles away!” Judy exploded. Bernadette stiffened her spine.
