Page 51 of A Lady's Beastly Duke
Anastasia swallowed hard. She gazed at her mother’s face. She could see care there, and concern, but her mother did not sound as though she really understood. How could she think that being well-moneyed would even matter? Whateverher material circumstances, being loved would always be more important.
“Mama...it’s not just about Lord Ridley. You know I am in love,” she tried to explain.
“With the duke,” her mother said softly.
Anastasia nodded. “Yes. With the duke.” She gazed into her mother’s eyes. Her mother looked sad, but it still seemed as though she would do nothing to help.
“My dear, perhaps this is for the best,” her mother began. “We all have hardships, and...”
“I would rather face material hardship. I would rather be on the street, and I mean it!” Anastasia said firmly. “Anything would be better than that...that...”
“Shh,” her mother said gently, taking her hands in hers. “Mayhap it won’t be that bad. After all, the viscount must have to be in London often. A man of such wealth is often busy in the town. Mayhap you will not see him often.”
Anastasia cleared her throat, a lump blocking it. “Mayhap,” she said softly. “But what of when he is at home? How can I bear it?”
Her mother shook her head. “I don’t know, daughter,” she said gently. “Your father and I were never close. I wed him because my own father arranged the marriage. I had wanted better for you, but perhaps there is nothing better. I cannot presume to tell you anything because I don’t know more myself.”
Anastasia gripped her mother’s hands. Horror filled her. She was truly going to have to spend the rest of her life with that monstrous, oafish man. She longed to escape. She gazed out of the window.
“I am sorry, daughter,” mama said slowly. Her own voice was full of pain. “I cannot compel him to alter his opinion. All I can do is assure you that I shall visit frequently. Lily shall do the same,” she added.
“No,” Anastasia sobbed. She wished she could accept what Mama was saying. But she could not lose them. She could not lose everything that mattered.
“My lady? Lady Anastasia?” The butler appeared in the doorway.
“Yes?” Mama asked.
“Lady Camilla is here. Should I show her...” he began. Anastasia shot to her feet with alarm. She had forgotten Camilla had said she would drop in. She was about to ask the butler to tell Camilla that she was in town, but then Camilla appeared in the doorway. She saw Anastasia’s tears—as she had feared she would—and her hand rose to her lips.
“Anastasia! What is amiss?”
Anastasia sat down heavily. She could not hold back the convulsive sobs that had threatened to burst forth all morning. She had been crying, but in the presence of her friend, she did not feel the need to maintain the frosty exterior that she had held to. She sobbed so that her shoulders shook. Tears ran down herface and soaked her hair.
“What is it?” Camilla asked when Anastasia managed to sit up. Both of them were wet with her tears, a big stain on Camilla’s white-and-green dress showing where she had leaned while she sobbed. She gestured to it.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
Camilla shook her head. “It is of no mportance,” she insisted gently. “What is amiss?”
Anastasia drew a deep breath. Her mother had slipped discreetly out while they talked, and she was grateful to her. She needed to be able to talk frankly to Camilla and she could only do that while Mama was not there listening to them.
“Papa just told me that he has accepted Ridley’s offer,” she told Camilla, the news no longer so shocking that she could not even say it. “He gave him permission to...”
“You have to marry Ridley?” Camilla exclaimed.
“Yes,” Anastasia whispered. She felt strengthened by Camilla’s horrified tone.
“No,” Camilla said at once, as shocked as Anastasia herself was. “No. That is too much. I have heard of convenience, but that is...that is preposterous! The man is horrid.” Her eyes were wide and round.
“I know,” Anastasia whispered. “But I don’t know what to do. Mama cannot help,” she added sadly. She understood that.
If she were to have a child with Ridley, she would be unable to help them, too, in such a situation. She would have to do as he said.
“What about the duke?” Camilla asked instantly.
“Mama...mama said that perhaps this is better.”
“No!” Camilla clasped her hand to her lips. “No. I cannot believe it!” She shook her head in outrage. “But...but what if he knew?” she asked slowly.
