Page 53 of The Earl's Christmas Deal
Lionel was engrossed in his book, and Adam noticed that he was on the final page, his eyes moving steadily over the page.
Adam waited patiently, leaving the door open, and approached softly, trying not to startle him. Lionel did not take long to finish the book, snapping it shut with a contented sigh and glancing up at him.
“Well, good morning,” he said.
“How long have you been in here?” Adam asked with amusement.
“Several hours, I could not sleep and decided I simply had to finish this book before I spoke to Char—Miss Fairfax again.”
Adam would have probed that comment a little more, but he had too much else on his mind to think of it.
Lionel’s expression stiffened, and then a lazy smile spread over his face. “Did you wish to discuss something with me? Because I have been waiting for many days for you to broach the subject.”
Adam frowned. “Am I so transparent?”
“Entirely. But then, you are the very best of men, and I am desperate to see you settled once more. Sometimes one wishes to see a thing when it is not a reality… but I hope that is not the case here.”
“You had suspected?” Adam asked tentatively.
“I suspect many things. I would not be so arrogant as to assume I know your heart, especially with all that has happened in your past. But I have grown to hope…”
“You know I do not refer to Lord Cheswick’s daughter?”
“Not unless you have become a halfwit without me knowing.” Adam gave him a stern look, but Lionel shrugged. “Iknow it is not a gentlemanly thing to say, but every time the woman opens her mouth, I want to stopper it.”
“Lionel!”
“It is true. Besides, I have a notion that you do not wish to discuss Lady Seraphina.”
Adam scratched at his chin awkwardly. “No. Perhaps not.”
“Lady Emilia is a marvellous creature; I could not be happier for you.”
Adam stilled, looking into the fire and trying to make sense of all the emotions warring inside him. “I cannot understand how I have come to feel so strongly for her in such a short time.”
“You have been living a half-life for years. Sometimes, when one allows oneself back into the world, emotions run in packs, like wolves.”
Adam shrugged a shoulder, frowning into the flames.
“I loved Anastasia.”
“Nobody in the whole world would deny it, my friend. I loved her, too. She was glorious.” There was a long silence amidst the crackle of the fire, and Lionel laid a gentle hand on Adam’s shoulder. “But she is gone. And you deserve to be happy.”
Adam was aware of the tears banked at the back of his eyes now, but Lionel did not comment upon them.
“I have been so bewildered by these events and so surprised by them in equal measure. It has been far too short a time to really believe anything real could exist between us, but when we danced last night. The way she looked at me. I could hardly breathe.”
“My dear fellow, are you becoming a romantic?”
Adam chuckled softly, grateful for Lionel’s change in tone. It allowed him to gather himself and begin to pace before the fire.
“Every time I feel anything for Lady Emilia, I see Anastasia in my mind. I never believed I would want anyone else to share my life, but right from the beginning, when I first heard her play, there was a connection I couldn’t deny. She touches something inside me that I do not believe even Anastaisa could penetrate. It is beyond understanding. It is beyond logic.”
Adam ran a hand angrily through his hair as he turned back, feeling the warmth of the flames fading as he marched back toward the bookshelves.
“And you are sure this is a reality,” Lionel asked evenly, “not a passing fancy? After all you have not been in company for a long while. Perhaps it is simply the closeness you have missed.”
Adam stopped, staring at his cousin in disbelief. “Have you not been listening?” Adam asked, exasperated.
