Page 79 of The Diávolos: Part One
Evan lets out a sigh, but Dion continues, “You have completely derailed from the plan, and I understand, but don’t lose sight of why we’re doing this. Angelica is a means to an end. You can’t have it both ways without dealing with the consequences.”
A means to an end.Dion’s last name.This new betrayal, sudden, yet inevitable, despite what my father said, feels like a blow to my system. I had convinced myself it couldn’t be true. But I was too enamored with Evan to see the truth. To evenlookfor the truth. I’d promised myself not to trust him so easily, but I let my guard down. Hearing Dion say those words triggers my primal fight reaction and a massive flood of adrenaline shoots through me, making me erupt right into Evan’s office. The loud bang of the door against the wall surprises them, and they look at me with equal parts shock and confusion. Evan is sitting on the chair behind his desk, while Dion leans against the bookcase.
“Angel, I wasn’t expecting you—”
I cut him off. “Why don’t you tell me the truth,Evander? Who are you?” His face goes blank. The rage is burning in me like a blaze. I look him straight in the eyes, not backing down for one second. A moment passes before Evan’s expression changes as his gaze moves across my face. I’d almost forgotten what mybabahad done. I turn away from him as he stands up and circles around the desk toward me. He grabs the back of my neck and brings my eyes back to him, and my heart skips a beat from his touch. Even in our darkest moments, his touch can set my insides on fire.
“Who did this to you?” The words are a promise of agony to whoever inflicted this injury on me.
I jerk out of his hold and take a step back. “My father, after he called me a littlepoutánafor fucking his NEMESIS!” I scream the last word as my face contorts with rage. Evan’s expression matches mine. “This doesn’t even matter now,” I spit, pointing to the redness on my cheek and the gash on my lip. “I need to know the truth, Evander. I heard what Dion said to you, so don’t try lying to me. Was any of this real?”
I glance at Dion, who has gone still as a statue, and I turn back to Evan. He doesn’t even have to say anything. I can see the truth in his eyes. The sorrow, the fear, and the regret. I don’t think I could even bear to hear the words from his mouth.
“Why?” The question comes out as a whimper. A tear breaks free, the rest following in an unbroken stream. “How…howcould you do this to me?” I lift my hands to wipe my face. “You could’ve gotten what you wanted, Evander, if you’d just been honest,” I scream at him, the tears flowing freely down my face now. “Couldn’t you see I was falling for you? If you’d told me what happened, I would’ve understood. I could’ve helped you somehow. I would’ve done anything for you. I love you,” I sob.
Evan winces as he hears those three words: I love you. Words I have never said to any other man until now. This was not the way I expected to profess my love to him. His expression is pained, and it looks as if he has just been stabbed in the gut.Welcome to the club.
“I guess I’m the idiot for going into this blindly. You were mystalker. I ignored all the signs. I might be crazier than you! I didn’t even know your full name, for fuck’s sake. I let youfuckme. Turns out, my father is right. I let you use me like a whore,” I seethe, not caring that Dion is standing right next to me, his eyes moving back and forth between me and Evander.
My heart feels like it’s broken in a million pieces. There’s no way it can go back to what it was before. I let this man into my life, into my body, and into my heart. I allowed him to hold it, protect it, and he tore it apart. He betrayed me. I can barely see through my tears, but Evan is suddenly in front of me again. He grabs my arm and opens his mouth to speak, and I see red. I feel like I might spontaneously combust at any moment, as if someone set a slow and steady match beneath my center, deep in the pit of my stomach.
“Don’t you fucking touch me, Evander,” I yell, my voice coming out hoarse. I yank my arm back from his hold and storm out of his office, passing Sebastian and Gregory on my way out. Both of their faces are twisted in concern.Great. They heard everything, too.
Evan doesn’t follow me out, and I don’t know if that makes things better or worse. I hear a loud yell coming from the room and the sound of objects crashing to the ground. I try to wipe the overflowing tears off my face as I rush down the stairs. I can’t breathe and I need air, now. I push the door open, and of course, it’s raining. I look up into the sky and close my eyes, letting the rain fall on my face and mix with my tears. I’m in so much pain and I don’t know where to go. I turn right and start walking. No, I startrunningdown the street. I have no end in sight, but I keep going until I can’t catch my breath and have to stop. I need to get as far away from here as possible.
I grab my phone out of my pocket. My hands are trembling, and I can barely see the screen with the rain falling so hard. I go through my recent calls, frantically looking for a specific contact, and I dial it. He picks up after two rings and I lose it at the sound of his voice, sinking down to my knees on the asphalt.
“Gianis, please…” I can barely get the words out through my hysterical cries. I hear rustling on the other side of the phone and then a car door slamming shut, the faint sound of the engine turning on.
“Send me your location and don’t move. I’m coming,” he says.
I hang up and send him my coordinates. I don’t even know where I am, but I sit on the side of the road and wait.
Gianis pulls up within minutes and I’m shocked at how fast he got here. The car has barely come to a stop, and he is already outside, walking toward me. I try to get up, but I’m shuddering violently and can barely hold myself up. I don’t know how long I ran for, but my legs are sore, and I’m so cold and wet from the rain. I spent the entire time snapping the band on my wrist so hard I had to switch sides. Both are bruised with blood blisters under my already sensitive skin. I turn my palms up and grimace from the stinging pain as the rain hits the broken skin. Gianis hurries to me and I jump into his arms, not caring that I’m wet and a complete mess. He feels me shaking and takes off his jacket to put it over my shoulders.
“Shhh, it’s okay,mikrí mou, I’ve got you,” he whispers into my hair and holds me tight. The feeling of familiarity surrounds my body. He rests his chin on the top of my head, and I let myself relax into his arms. The gentleness of his actions, mixed with the destructive feeling of heartbreak, causes me to sob uncontrollably into his chest, making his shirt wetter than the rain falling on us. He lifts his arm up and starts stroking my hair.
When I finally start to calm down, we disentangle and he leads me to his car, carefully easing me into the passenger seat. He cranks up the heat and moves off. He asks me what happened a couple times, but I can’t muster up any words. I spend the drive looking out the window, focusing on the droplets of rain trailing down the glass. My breathing eventually slows, but tears keep forming in the corner of my eyes.
“Do you want me to come in?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I need to be alone.”
“Angelica. I’ll kill him. Just say the word. I never want to see you like this again,” he says.
I can see the pain and the longing in his eyes as he looks at me and the waterworks begin again. This time it’s a different type of heartbreak. The one I feel for Gianis. I’m crying because I love him, but not the love that he wants or deserves. Not the same love I feel for Evander. It breaks my heart because he is so deserving, but I can’t give that to him. I unbuckle my seat belt, jump at his neck, and squeeze him hard. It takes him a few seconds to return the hug and he wraps his arms around my body.
“Thank you, G. I’ll spare you the trouble, but your offer means the world to me, as do you.”
He stays silent as I step out of the car. I haven’t felt this much sorrow since my mother died, and even though this isn’t comparable to the pain I felt after losing her, it’s the closest thing to it that I’ve experienced in a very long time. This is the reason why I never let anyone get close to my heart. Not only did Evan betray me, but I also betrayed myself by allowing this to happen.
All the fantasies my mind has been creating about us being in a relationship are now null and void.
There is no playing house with the devil.
“Honesty is very hard. The truth is often painful. But the freedom it can bring is worth the trying.”
–Fred Rogers
