Page 60 of Between Here and the Horizon
Thirty seconds passed, and then another full minute. He didn’t want me? That was such bullshit. No. Justno. I didn’t walk through into his bedroom. That would have been the easy option. Instead I chose the harder, far more embarrassing route. My Christmas Day was not ending like this—alone and confused. I was going to confront him. Ask him what the hell was going on. I took the stairs up to the observatory two at a time, already planning all of the harsh, unkind things I was going to say to him when I reached the top.
“Sully Fletcher, you arethemost—” My foot hit the top step and I saw him standing there, moonlight pouring in through the bowed windows, casting silver shadows across his perfect skin, and I suddenly forgot what I was going to say. He was naked. And he was waiting for me.
“Took you long enough,” he said. “Very brave, though, Lang. Very,verybrave.” He walked slowly toward me, and I felt as though I were about to tumble back down the stairs. He was a work of art. The lines of his shoulders were strong, broad and powerful. His chest was a slab of muscle, forming a perfect vee lower down where his hips dipped into his groin. I couldn’t look away. His thighs were muscular and covered in a light smattering of hair. And his cock…
Before I married Will, I’d only slept with one other guy. He’d been smaller than Will, but he’d really known what to do to make a woman come. Will had been considerably bigger, but he’d thought it didn’t matter (or maybe just cared less) how he used his size to bring me pleasure.
I already knew Sully possessed both size and expertise, though. One look at the way he moved as he walked toward me told me he was a highly sexual guy. And he was so huge. Almostfrighteninglyso.
I glanced back up and saw that he’d caught me staring. “It’s okay, Lang,” he said. “Don’t hold back on my account. Look as much as you want.Touchas much as you want.Tasteas much as you want. I sure as hell won’t be holding back.”
“Shit. I think I’m freaking out a little.” Admitting that to him was hard. Not as hard as admitting to myself how inexperienced and unworthy I suddenly felt. And vulnerable. God, so,sovulnerable. Sully padded barefoot to me and slid his arms around me, lifting me up off the floor, hands moving underneath my thighs as he guided me to wrap my legs around his waist.
“Don’t freak out,” he commanded. “Relax. Breathe. I’ll stop whenever you want me to. Just say the word.”
“Okay.”
The roof over the observatory was a dome of pure glass. In the center of the room, a huge mirror reflected the light from a surprisingly small bulb behind a wire mesh cage; it swung around to the left, and the brilliant wave of pure white light washed over us, casting a stark silhouette in the beam. Sully wasn’t lying when he said he’d been sleeping up here. A low-slung cot was pushed up against one side of the dome, neatly made, his clothes laid out on top of it. He carried me across to it, but he didn’t put me down on the mattress. He lowered me back to my feet and pressed me up against the glass, then began kissing my neck, licking and biting at me until it felt like the sea of stars overhead were spinning too brightly and way too fast.
His heart was slamming in his chest beneath my hands, beating just as crazily as my own. I couldn’t stop touching him. My hands ran up and down his back, my fingernails digging into his flesh, until the texture of his skin changed, very slick and smooth feeling, and I stopped. It was the scar on his side—the one that run up onto his back. Sully didn’t seem to notice me hesitate before I stroked my hand across the scar again, feeling the topography of his body alter as I explored.
He continued to kiss at my neck, but eventually I felt him stiffen a little. “Who’s the one wearing kid gloves now, Lang?” he growled under his breath.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. It’s just—”
“It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t bother me. You don’t need to tiptoe around it. I have a scar. It’s pretty big.” He leaned back and gave me a roguish smile. “Now feel free to get over it and pay some attention to the rest of my body. How about…here.” He took hold of my hand and slid it down, so that I was touching his hard-on.
“God, Sully…” I curled my hand around him, squeezing gently, and his eyelids shuttered, his breath coming out in a short, blunt gasp. Slowly, I worked my hand up the length of him, looking down between our bodies so I could watch what I was doing to him. It was fascinating, seeing him literally grow harder and pulse in my hand as I worked my way up and down his flesh. It was even more fascinating when I glanced up and saw the expression on his face—so much lust and desire, warring with his need for self-control. His bottom lip was fastened between his teeth, and he was biting down.Hard. I’d never seen a look so openly sexual and heated on a guy’s face before, and it damn near broke me. I wanted to tear my clothes from my body, shove him back on his makeshift bed, and sink myself down on him immediately. I doubted he would try and stop me, but if I did that it would be over too soon. I wanted to savor every last second of this experience. I needed to commit every last second of it to memory, to hold onto each moment we shared as we kissed, and touched and explored each other’s bodies.
My senses were overloading, greedily trying to shove each other out of the way so I could focus on how he looked, how he felt, how he smelled and how he tasted all at once. Sully seemed as if he were fighting the exact same battle.
“You’re not real,” he told me, curling a piece of my hair around his index finger. “How can you be?”
“I’m pretty sure I am,” I said breathlessly.
“Then why do I constantly feel like I’m underwater when I’m with you? Dreaming? Imagining every second?” His mouth came down on mine, hungry and demanding. I didn’t tell him I felt the same way. He wouldn’t give me the breath to do it. He demanded it all from me, demanded everything I had. His hands worked their way underneath my shirt, moving confidently upwards, until he was roughly cupping my breasts. He bit my lip at the same time, tugging on it sharply, growling a little. My head was spinning. The powerful beam of light swept across us again, turning night into day, and Sully took hold of my shirt, pulling it off over my head in one swift movement. My bra didn’t last long either. He reached around and unfastened the clasp at the back, then tore the straps from my shoulders, throwing it over his shoulder.
My back arched away from the wall of thick glass behind me so that my chest was offered up to Sully; he took full advantage of the fact and bent over me, taking one of my peaked nipples into his mouth, and then the other. His hands were full of me. My head was full of him.
“Sully. Oh my god,please…” What was I begging for? I didn’t even know. For him to be inside me? For him to throw me down on his bed and take me? I definitely wanted that, but my plea was asking for more than that.Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t ruin this. Please don’t letmeruin this. Please don’t let me go. Please don’t let me love you…
Begging could only get you so far, though. I was filled with an undeniable, solid awareness of myself, and how little control I had over my own heart. It was a treacherous, cruel thing that kept trying to lead me down a path I didn’t want to go down. In reality, I was blundering my way blindly down that path already, lost and so turned around that I didn’t know which way was up, and Sully was the only thing I could see anymore.
He smoothed both of his hands over my hair, then down over my shoulders, resting them on my hips. “How stupid are we being, Lang? How much further are we going to let this go?” he asked hoarsely.
“I don’t know.” My own voice was small. Unsure. Scared. Sully pressed his forehead against mine, breathing out heavily. He closed his eyes, muscles in his jaw jumping, like he was struggling to stop himself from tearing me apart.
“I already told you,” he said. He sounded calm, but it was a false calm, too flat and too even to be real. I could still feel how crazed his pulse was beneath my hands, evidence of his true emotional state. “I already told you I wasn’t going to hold back.”
“Then why are you?”
He laughed softly. “For you. Because I’m thinking of someone else before myself for the first time in a very long time. Frankly, it sucks.”
I kissed him. I kissed him long, and I kissed him hard. “Let go of the reins,” I said. “Neither of us want to be gripping them so tightly right now.”
He opened his eyes. I felt as if I were pinned to the spot, unable to move. “No bullshit?” he asked quietly.
“No bullshit, Sully.”
