Page 36 of Vice
CHAPTER TEN
THE MOUNTAIN
Back at the Villalobos estate, Fernando has locked himself away in his study. I haven’t seen him since Natalia and I walked back through the gates, tired and soaked to the bone, but strangely happy. We don’t kiss as we say goodbye to one another. We don’t even look each other in the eye, in case someone sees something passing between us that shouldn’t exist. She just goes her way, and I go mine. With my cell phone now returned to me, I make a call I’ve been dreading.
“Get your ass home. Now.” Jamie’s never told me to do anything before. Ever. Seems like today is a day of firsts, though. He is majorly pissed, and it’s all my fault. I should never have told him Laura is dead. I shouldn’t have told him I plan on killing Fernando, and I probably should have kept the fact that I just fucked his daughter up a tree to myself, too.
“You’re mad. Fucking certifiable. You’ve lost your fucking mind,” he hisses down the phone. “Come home. Get on the next flight out of Ecuador. I mean it, Cade.”
“And leave Fernando breathing? I don’t think so, man.”
“I loved Laura, too, okay? Fernando won’t go unpunished. We’ll figure it out here, though, together, like we always do. And once we have a sane plan of action, we can make sure he pays for what he did to her. This, what you’re doing, is more than ill advised, though, brother. It’s fucking stupid, and it’s going to get you killed.”
“We’ve all got to die someday.”
“See what I mean? Fucking stupid, Cade. Fucking stupid. We dragged each other out of hell in the desert. We’ve been through nightmare after nightmare ever since we got back. You think I’m going to let you die on your own, in another fucking country, in another fucking continent, without coming to get you? You know we’re going out in a blaze of glory together, you asshole.”
“Do not come down here,” I snap into the phone. “This situation’s already precarious enough as it is. If you show up, the shit is royally going to hit the fan. I just know it.”
“Cade.” His voice is hard and terse. He’s so angry with me, I can hear that plainly enough, but what the hell am I supposed to do? Let him come down here and get himself killed? There’s an extremely high probability that I’m going to end up getting shot in the back of the head out here; I’m not going to condemn my best friend to the same fate as me.
“Jamie. Do not come down here. Promise me.”
“I’m not eleven years old, asshole. I’m not making promises. If I’m hit with even the slightest suspicion that things are going sideways down there, I’m getting on a plane and I’m dragging your ass out of there whether you like it or not. Do you hear me? Don’t forget, I’m the president of this club, Cade. You’re meant to do what the fuck I tell you.”
“That’s low. You’re pulling rank on me now?”
“If I fucking have to. You think I’ll let some hurt feelings get in the way of your life? You’re wrong, man. You’re so, so wrong.”
I sigh heavily. He’s not going to back off here, I know it. It’s shitty that he’s trying to order me home like some fucking subordinate, when we’ve always been equals. Jamie calls the shots, sure, but he’s never treated me like I need to bow down to him. There’s a very good chance I’m being pig-headed here, and he’s just trying to look out for me, I’m aware of that, but it still stings.
“I’ll be careful,” I tell him.
“Damn right you will. And you’ve got to stop fucking the girl, man. Trust me. That is going to blow up in your face in no time at all.”
Jamie can hardly talk about fucking the wrong girls. He’s in love with a woman he shouldn’t have gone anywhere near with a ten-foot pole. He knows how hypocritical he sounds, because he says, “Learn from my mistakes, brother. I know you’re mad, and I know you’re hurting, I am too, but please…just don’t do anything stupid.”
I grind my teeth, closing my eyes. “Okay. I’m gonna play this smart, I swear.”
Jamie’s quiet for a moment, and then he huffs out a deep breath. I can imagine the look of worry on his face right now, as he paces back and forth in the Widow Makers’ clubhouse. “All right, dude. I’m trusting you,” he says. “Don’t fuck this up. Don’t put the club at risk. And whatever you do, don’t get yourself fucking killed.”
******
The next morning, Harrison drags me out of bed at 6 a.m., and Fernando questions me relentlessly about where I disappeared to with his daughter for four hours. His anger is palpable—the kind you feel like a slap in the face. The man is all over the place. One minute he’s asking me to stay away, the next he’s telling me to take his daughter out into the forest. Now it seems as though we’re firmly back in “stay-the-fuck-away-from-her-asshole” territory.
“I am sure you’ve had a chance to speak to your employer by now, Kechu,” Fernando snaps. “When can we expect his royal highness to arrive?” Fernando grins, baring his teeth, and it’s not a happy grin. It’s a death mask, and I want to smash my fist right fucking through it.
“He’s dealing with a private matter at home,” I say. “He should be here in no more than a week or so.” A week should be enough time for me to get my shit together and make this man dead. A part of me doesn’t know why I’m stretching this out so ridiculously. I could slip into his room at night, one way or another, and put him down the same way I did to Julio. I could wrap the cord from the light pull around his throat right now and strangle the bastard to death; the struggle probably wouldn’t even alert the guys standing guard outside his office. There are a million ways I could get what I want and get the fuck out of here, but I’m dragging my heels. I know I am.
It boils down to the fact that I’m a pleasure delayer. The wait, knowing what’s about to go down, knowing that he won’t see it coming, is almost too sweet and satisfying to turn away from. And now, there’s also Natalia. I fucked her. I shouldn’t have, but I did, and what stands between us isn’t as simple as a casual hookup. I look at her and I feel bottomless. I feel like I’m falling. I feel responsible, and protective, and violently angry all at once. It’s fucking scary.
I’ve avoided feeling this way about a woman since before I was deployed. I don’t want or need to be feeling this way now, but I have no choice in the matter. She’s under my skin, now. I try not to think about what will happen to her when I leave here, because the truth is I just can’t see it. I can’t see me leaving her, period, and I have no idea how the fuck I’m going to make that work.
So fucking dumb.
“A week is too long, Kechu. I’m beginning to think your boss does not respect my time.”
“He does. He’s also a loyal man, though, and he won’t leave his family when they need him. Like you, I imagine. If Natalia was sick, or in some sort of trouble, you wouldn’t leave her side, would you?” I know this is a tricky hand to play as soon as the words are out of my mouth. Fernando’s expression is thunderous.
