Page 27 of Mr. North
“If we want to head down that way, all you need to do is hold your hand out like this and clench your fist,” he informs me, demonstrating. “Then turn to your left or right and open your hand. It’ll basically drag and drop the landscape until it’s placed in a position where you can proceed forward.” He opens his hand and the whole world around us shifts—very disorienting for a second, but then completely normal again once the graphics settle back into place. The view that was right in front of us now stretches out to the left.
“Pick a direction,” he tells me.
I glance around, drinking everything in. To our right, a street vendor is selling fish and chips from a food truck, and the smell of salt and vinegar hits the back of my nose, carried on the breeze. It’s crazy how accurate this program is. Crazy . I can’t even begin to comprehend how it all works.
Raphael and I walk along the riverside, watching small boats zip up and down the waterway. Every fifty feet, we need to take a left, Raphael shifting the simulation so we can keep moving. Eventually, we come to a large square, restaurants and bars lining the open courtyard-like area, and Raphael draws me to a halt.
“Have you been here before?” I ask.
“Yes. I’ve been here in real life. I spent a summer living in London seven years ago. It’s one of my favorite cities. Holds some pretty fond memories for me.” He looks around wistfully, his eyes landing on the water fountain that’s happily gurgling away about fifteen feet from where we’re standing.
“I don’t think I ever stood here, though. This view is new to me,” he says. His eyes, usually so bright and sharp, are somehow slightly unfocused, and for the very first time he looks less like a honed weapon, fixated on its target. He simply looks like a man, wandering, lost in his memories.
He looks down at me, and that soft edge remains for a second. His eyes travel over my forehead, my hairline, down the bridge of my nose, over my lips, my jawline, my cheekbones. He settles on my eyes last of all. “You’re more beautiful than this city, Beth. More beautiful than any city I’ve ever stepped foot in.”
Heat blossoms in my cheeks. “Don’t—don’t say that. It’s not true.”
“It is, I assure you. There’s something about you that intrigues me more than a place, a landscape, or a work of art ever could.” His hand tightens around mine. I try to take a step back, but he draws me closer instead, stepping into me at the same time. Our chests are flush with one another, his chin level with the top of my head. He reaches around me, sliding his free hand into place so that it’s resting in the small of my back.
“I’m going to kiss you, Beth. I’m going to claim our first kiss.”
“You can’t just claim something from me. That would be just like the man who claimed something from my mother.”
Raphael shakes his head slowly. “No. Not like him. Never like him. I’ll never take from you without your consent. You will always have the right to say no with me. If you don’t want this, if you don’t want me to kiss you, say so now and I’ll back the fuck off.”
I gape up at him. I don’t know how to react.
“You’re not telling me to let you go,” he whispers. His mouth lowers, barely an inch away from mine.
How can he just… what does he think he’s…the very nerve of the…man…I just can’t seem to…
I stare into those eyes of his, my body locked, my spine straight, my lips tingling. I should push him away. I should slap his face. Scream at him. I can’t seem to do anything but lean into him, though. He moves toward me, his actions drawn out, almost glacially slow. I know he’s giving me all the time in the world I need to reject him, to tell him this isn’t what I want, but my voice has fled me. My hands refuse to push him away. My whole body is magnetized, drawn to his in the most powerful, undeniable way. Closer, closer, closer… so close that his lips graze mine, the contact barely a whisper. Raphael studies me, his breath warm against my mouth.
“You’re not running,” he whispers.
I close my eyes. I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking move.
“Open them,” Raphael says softly. “Open your eyes. Look at me. I want to see the moment you fall in love with me.”
What the… I open my eyes. Not in answer to his command, but in response to the sheer, insane levels of arrogance this man possesses. The spell is broken. I shake my hand loose from his, planting it in between our bodies, flat against his chest. I shove him, trying to reclaim some space between us, but Raphael refuses to budge, refuses to let me go. He reaches up with his now-free hand, burying it into my hair at the roots, and he’s not moving slowly anymore. He moves like lightning, stooping down to kiss me, pressing his mouth down on mine with unbelievable force. He’s not rough, doesn’t hurt me, but he sure as hell isn’t gentle with me either. His lips are hot, soft yet insistent, demanding. He cups my face with both his hands, and then his tongue is darting between my lips, tangling with mine, exploring my mouth, leaving no part of me unturned. He huffs heavily down his nose, and for a second I get a feel of what Raphael North is like when he loses control. His chest rises and falls against mine, and my mind goes blank. I’ve never been kissed like this before in my entire life. I’ve never felt a measure of attraction, happily simmering away in the base of my stomach, catch light and transform into an incontrollable inferno in an instant. I’ve never felt curiosity burst into flames of roaring desire in the blink of an eye. I haven’t known my own body until this very moment. Twenty-eight years have passed since the day I was born, and I’ve been so naive. I’ve never known I was capable of such a depth of need before this moment, and the surprise of it takes me out at the damn knees.
I was angry a second ago. Mad enough to rip the VR glasses from my eyes and storm out of the studio, but now I feel like I’ve stumbled over the edge of a rooftop and I’m tumbling, the ground rushing up to meet me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop myself from falling. I dig my own hands into Raphael’s hair, kissing him back. A small, pained groan catches in the back of his throat, and he shifts, lowering himself a little. A solid hardness presses up against me, between my legs, and I let out a stifled moan. Oh god… he’s hard. He’s so hard, and we’ve only been kissing for a matter of seconds. Raphael tears his mouth away from mine, staggering back. There’s a wild, untamable, almost otherworldly light shining in his eyes, and I can’t fucking look away. He swallows, then brushes his hair back, digging his own fingers into his hair, leaving them there, elbows bracketing his face. “We’re electric,” he says breathlessly. “You’re electric.”
I don’t know what to do with myself. People walk around us, oblivious, the way water flows around rocks in a stream. If we were standing on a real street in New York right now, staring at each other, stopped dead on the sidewalk, we’d be getting lynched. People would be screaming and swearing at us for causing an obstruction. They’d be jostling us, shoving, trying to get passed us. And if they’d seen that kiss…it doesn’t even bear thinking about. We’d have been mercilessly heckled and whistled at. We’re in our own personal little bubble, though. No interruptions, no comments, no prying eyes.
“Did you bring me here to do that?” I ask him. “Were you planning on doing that the moment you asked me to do this with you?”
Raphael doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“You had no right. You’re…you’re so fucking full of yourself.”
“I am,” he agrees. “I have reason to be. I’m not just some guy off the street, Beth. I’m different, in the same way you’re different.”
“What…what does that even mean ?” Frustration colors my voice. I reach up, about to rip the VR glasses off, but Raphael lunges forward, halting me, his hand on mine.
“It means that we’re meant to do this. I knew it the second I saw that picture. You’re meant for me, and I’m meant for you. I’m going to find a way to prove that to you.”
I glare at him, hating the fact that he’s making so much sense right now. There is definitely a connection between us, no matter how much I want to rail against it at this specific point in time. I’m a strong person. A fierce person. An independent person. I call my own shots, and Raphael’s arrogance right now is trying to take that away from me. No matter who a person is, they have no right to do that. It’s frightening to feel this way about a man I barely know. More than intimidating. It’s enough to paralyze me with doubt. It took me years to build my courage after what happened to my mother. Years . I was a timid, scared person for a very long time. Every single act of courage I performed, and every single moment of bravery I forced myself through was a hard-won battle. Raphael telling me in no uncertain terms that I am undeniably meant for him feels like he’s taking my free will from me somehow…no matter if I believe it might be true myself. “You’d better think of a damn good way to prove it to me, North,” I snap at him. Jerking my hand out of his, I remove the VR glasses. Raphael leaves his on, clearly still able to see a version of me inside the simulation. London has vanished for me now, though. All that remains is the industrial grey of the studio walls and the rubberized black coating of the floor beneath my feet.
