Page 26 of Dirty
Fix dealt with the concierge, explaining who we were: Amy’s devoted sister, Sera, and her loving boyfriend, Felix. He took the keys and thanked the guy behind the counter, and as we climbed the sweeping staircase up to the first floor where our room was located, I noticed that the sky was lightening in the east, day just about to break over the canopy of trees stretching off into the distance for as far as the eye could see.
Not long now. Not long until the hustle and bustle that would arrive with the morning. There would be makeup and hair, and squeezing into the ridiculous bride’s maid’s dress my sister had picked out for me—the dress I hadn’t even seen yet. And there would be painfully polite chatter and niceties, and meeting Ben’s family members who’d traveled from all over the country to be there for his wedding. I would do what was expected of me, smiling and hugging and shaking hands. It would be a bitch of a day, but I would get it done. And the whole time, I would try to not think about the man standing next to me, and what he had done. More importantly, I would try not to think about his hands on my body or his mouth on my own. Those thoughts were far too dangerous to even comprehend.
When we entered the room, suffice it to say, there was no couch. That was just fucking perfect. I made sure my voice was firm as I rounded on Fix, arms folded across my chest. “I don’t care. You’re not sleeping in the bed.”
“Come on. That thing’s big enough for four people.”
“Don’t get any ideas.”
Fix’s head lowered, his chin almost meeting his chest as he prowled toward me. His lips curved up on the right hand side—the most salacious suggestion of a smile. “What? You wouldn’t like sharing a bed with four people?” he mused. “You wouldn’t like three pairs of hands on you, touching you, caressing and kissing your body?”
“No! God! Jesus!”
“Mary? You’re missing a few family members.”
“I’m sure you’d just love three women in a bed with you,” I snapped, snatching my bag from his hand. “I’m sure you’ve had plenty of crazy, ridiculous experiences with multiple women. But not everyone is as depraved as you.”
His mouth curved even higher, and his left eyebrow hitched up to his hairline. “Yes. I have. But who said anything about women joining us? You don’t think you’d be able to handle three men at once, Sera? Three guys, all stroking…” He took a step forward, his shoulders rolling in the most sensual way as his muscles shifted beneath his black button-down shirt. “Licking… Kissing… Biting… Sucking…” With every word, he took another step, closing the gap between us until he was standing right in front of me. “Three cocks, Sera? One in your mouth. One in your pussy. One in your ass. Imagine what that would feel like.”
Holy shit. He was unhinged. Absolutely insane. How did he even have the balls to say shit like that to me? If he expected me to laugh at his words, to shrug them off, or worse, to actually consider them, then he had another thing coming. I moved as quickly, planting my palms against his chest and shoving him as hard as I possibly could.I’d used all my strength, but the bastard had barely moved an inch.
“You’re a pig, Felix,” I growled.
“Ohhh. Felix. Full-name treatment. I must have been a very bad boy.”
“As if you’d fuck a girl with two other guys, anyway. Men are always too concerned about who has the biggest dick.”
Fix inhaled, rolling his eyes slowly up to the ceiling, his head slowly angling backward. He hadn’t shaved in two days, and the sight of the exposed column of his throat, marked with thick stubble, did something strange to me. Polluted with me with thoughts and feelings that I didn’t want to own. “Sera. You’ve seen me naked. You’ve seen my cock. You’ve held it. You’ve stroked it. You’ve taken it in your mouth, and your pussy. You really think I would have anything to worry about on that front? You really think I’d care what another guy had going on his pants? And, in the unlikely event that another guy’s dick was bigger than mine, it wouldn’t fucking matter and you know it. I’ve already explored your body. I’ve already made you quake and shiver. I’ve already painted my come all over your skin, and you’ve loved every single second of it.” He reached out, his hand slowly rising up to my face, his fingers uncurling until the tips of them were grazing my bottom lip.
I’d stopped breathing a full thirty seconds ago, and my head was starting to spin a little. God, he was so fucking hot. I hated him for it. I hated myself for noticing, over and over and over again. This shouldn’t be happening. He shouldn’t be able to affect me this way, and have my heart thundering beneath my ribcage. My body, my mind and my heart should all be on the same page—the Felix-Marcosa-is-too-dangerous-to-be-sexy page—but none of them were in alignment. My head knew what was up at least, but my body was overheating like crazy, and my heart had just plain flipped the fuck out.
“I know how to fuck. I know how to make you come. I know what makes your eyes roll back into your head, and I know how to tip you over the edge. I wouldn’t give a shit about other guys sharing a bed with us, because I’d know none of them would make you feel as good as I do.”
There were no words to describe his arrogance. And even if there were, I wouldn’t have been able to form them right now, because my mouth felt like it was lined with sandpaper. Fix leaned in closer, so close that I could see the fine, delicate slashes of silver that threaded their way through is irises. His eyes were truly beautiful. So unbelievably unique. I’d never seen eyes like his before, and I knew I was unlikely to ever see similar again. They sparked with an intense amusement as he tipped his head to the side and lowered his mouth—now barely an inch away from my own.
“You said it yourself, Sera. You’re an atheist. You believe you only get one life…so why haven’t you been living it?” So slowly, Fix’s lips parted, and I watched as the tip of his tongue slid past his teeth. He flicked it, swiftly licking my upper lip, and I gasped, stepping back out of his reach. Asshole. Complete, irredeemable, undeniable asshole. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I tried to rein in the wild response that his one, brief action had created in me, but it was harder than I’d expected. My mouth was burning, my lips throbbing. My throat was it was on fire.
“Don’t do that again. Don’t touch me without my permission. You’ll regret it.”
Fix didn’t look so sure. “Would I? How would you make me regret it? Would you kick and scream? Would you use your teeth on me? Would you hurt me? Do you want to hurt me, Sera?”
“You’re goddamn right I do! You’re…you’re fuckingimpossible! You act like you’re just some guy who’s interested in showing me a good time. Have you forgotten about what happened? I saw you kill someone. I witnessed you murder someone. Am I just supposed to wipe that memory from my mind? Pretend like it didn’t happen? Pretend like your actions haven’t scared the shit out of me? And while we’re at it, am I supposed to overlook the fact that you shoved me in the back of your car and took off with me without my consent? I’m not some airhead bimbo who’s going to fall in love with you, just because you have a pretty face, y’know. Lines have been crossed. Massive, irrevocable lines. Once this wedding is over, I’m going to go back to Seattle, and I’m going to force myself to eradicate you from my mind. I’m going to move on, and I’m going to black out this entire week. It’s the only way I won’t be permanently traumatized by what you’ve put me through.”
Fix shrugged. It was a calm, carefree response to my heated rant—a shrug that told me he was cold and dead inside. He didn’t care about me, or what I saw. He was going to follow through with this ridiculous farce of a plan, and he wasn’t going to give two shits if it worked out or not. He didn’t care about the consequences if this charade failed. All he cared about was making sure I kept my mouth shut. And if he wasn’t sure I was going to keep his secrets, then…then I didn’t doubt he would take measures to ensure I kept my mouth shut for good.
“Have it your way, Angel. Fool yourself if you like. Tell yourself whatever you need to in order to get yourself through this. I can get on board with that. I’ll play my part. Just make sure you play yours.”
TWELVE
PLEASED TO MEET YOU
FIX
“Bless me father, for I have sinned. I…I touched myself three times this week. Between…between my legs. I couldn’t help it. I knew it was wrong, but…”
The soft, female voice on the other side of the confessional grill paused, and I could hear the woman sitting in the darkened, cramped space breathing heavily. Days like this, I was sure none of my congregation were getting laid. I knew the woman’s voice—it was Yvonne Prescott, a young, pretty woman in her late twenties who’d married a guy called Gus last winter. Gus was one of those preppy motherfuckers who pretended like he had his shit together, like he was one of the sainted few who never put a foot wrong. Worked in the community, was the first to stick his hand up when there was volunteer work that needed doing at the church or in the community. He’d been in here twice this week, crying his eyes out, though, sobbing over the fact that he’d jerked off to porn on his computer repeatedly in the past week. He didn’t just like watching porn. He had an addiction, and it wasn’t the vanilla, everyday shit he was watching. He liked to watch gang bang porn—skinny Czech girls laid flat on their back, while a line of over thirty guys in masks waited for their turn to shove their cocks inside them. He liked to watch groups of guys thrust their dicks into a vulnerable girl’s mouth and her ass, to use and abuse her like she was a toy. It was more normal than people realized: repressed guys liked to see a woman defiled in the basest of ways.
I rubbed at my temple, trying to ease the headache that was lurking behind my eyes, threatening to make an appearance. “Have you spoken to your husband about your urges, child?” I asked. If Yvonne was honest with Gus and revealed herself to be a sexual creature with the same desires, wants and needs that most women had, perhaps Gus could lay off his dick and actually satisfy his wife for once. I already knew what she was going to say, though.
