Page 41 of Dirty
“Yeah. I should never be surprised by anything that comes out of your mouth, should I? Nothing’s off limits. Nothing is sacred.”
“That’s not true. Plenty of things are sacred.”
“Like my cunt?” She arched an eyebrow, and I couldn’t stop myself; I laughed, blowing smoke down my nose.
“Yes. Your cunt is very sacred to me. If you’d only let me worship it some more, you’d make me a very happy man.”
“Bullshit. You said all of that for show back there.”
I grabbed her hand and walked her through a gap in a fence that looked like it marked the perimeter of the hotel gardens. The sun was still hanging above the horizon, about half an hour from setting, and it cast long fingers of burning golden light over the tall grasses that spread out like a thick carpet before us. A huge live oak to our right was the only tree for about a mile; in the distance, the forest that surrounded the hotel thrust up toward the sky—a loom of a thousand different greens, ranging from verdant and bright spring jade, to rich flashes of deep, Irish emerald. It was the first time I’d caught myself stopping to admire the beauty of nature in a very,verylong time. The kind of people I dealt with on the regular made the world seem like a dark, corrupt, shitty place. I hadn’t wanted to believe in beauty, hadn’t wanted to see it, for the longest time, because it made all of the vile, awful things that happened out there behind closed doors, down badly lit side streets, and under railway passes all the more ugly. But with Sera standing next to me, in that moment, I couldn’t deny how breathtaking the view was.
“I didn’t say anything for show,” I told her quietly. “It was all true. Now I’m going to take you over to that tree, Sera, and I’m going to make you ride my face until you come in my mouth. Any objections?”
“Jesus.” She flicked the cigarette, dropping it to the ground, grinding the butt beneath her heel. “You’re never going to stop, are you?”
“No. Never. You were right. I did believe you when you said you’d keep my secrets. I knew it was doomed, that there was no chance we were going to go anywhere, but I was curious about you, Sera Lafferty. I wanted more time with you. It was fucked up and selfish, I know that. But I’m a fucked up, selfish guy. You’ve probably already figured that out. So, I won’t keep you hostage anymore. You can let me drive you back to Seattle, and you can let all of this sink in a little. Or you can tell me to go fuck myself and I’ll leave right now. Tonight. You won’t ever see me again. It’s all up to you, Sera. I’ll abide by your wishes. But…” I turned, cupping her chin in my hand, lifting her head so that she was looking up at me. Her gaze was intense, stripping me bare. “I still want you to ride my fucking face,” I growled. “I need to make you come one more time. I know you want me just as much as I want you. It’s eating you alive inside. It’s consuming you piece by piece. I’m your addiction, just as much as you’re mine. I’m toxic for you. I know that. If I were a better man, I’d let you go. But I’m not. I’m fallen, lost, driven by revenge and hatred. I’ll do whatever I can to keep you with me, and that includes fucking the sense right out of you until you can’t think straight.”
I waited for her to answer. If she looked away from me, I would know. The moment she sighed, or folded her arms across her body, or took a step away from me, she would have already told me what she wanted. But she didn’t do any of those things. Her eyes were bright and conflicted. If she were anyone else, I’d take her, lift her into my arms, and I’d carry her over to that tree and fuck the shit out of her. She wasn’t someone else, though. She was the woman with the defensive wounds on her hands. The jagged, deep line of purple scar tissue along her jaw. She was the warrior woman with the dents in her armor, her battles still raging, pain in her eyes, and I wouldn’t make assumptions with her. I would wait. I would kneel at her goddamn feet until she told me she wanted me, and I wouldn’t move an inch until then, regardless of how badly I wanted to claim her.
“You just told me you’d never baby me,” she said softly. “I can see what you’re thinking. I’m not broken. I’m not a bird with an injured wing. I have a past, and it’s tricky, and it often visits me in my dreams, but I’m still kicking ass, Fix. So…if you want me, try and take me. I’ll kick your ass if I don’t want your hands on me.”
“It’d be much easier if you just said yes,” I rumbled.
She cocked her head to one side, her full lips bowing into a broad smile. “Would finding out for yourself not be worth a potential kick to the balls?” She was so damn sweet when she said it, but I could see it in her eyes—she’d knee me in the balls for sure, and wouldn’t think twice about it.
My answer to her question was to bring my mouth crashing down on hers. I couldn’t bear it anymore. Whatever happened, I needed to taste her. I need to feel her tits crushed up against my chest. I needed her tongue in my mouth, and I needed her to make those panting, desperate little whimpering sounds when I slide my hand down inside her jeans and I rubbed my fingers over her clit in tight little circles.
Gathering her loose, wavy hair in my hands, I dug my fingers into the thickness of it, groaning. Sera froze for a moment. Time stretched out, driving me to madness as I waited to see what she would do. The moment she tried to shove me away, I would remove myself from her. I’d bind my own hands behind my back with sheer force of will alone, and I wouldn’t touch her anymore. I was ready, willing and prepared to do that. Dipping my tongue into her mouth, Sera’s lips parted a little wider, and then…
Fuck…
And then she was winding her arms around me, her hands sliding up my back, fingernails digging into my shoulder blades through my t-shirt. She kissed me back, her mouth pressing against mine, the sweet taste of her filling my senses, and a fire erupted inside me, raging through my veins. I’d done some stupid, messed up things as a teenager. I’d done equally stupid, reckless things after I’d thrown down my collar and walked right out of St. Luke’s, but nothing in my life had ever gotten me as high as Sera Lafferty. She was the light that flowed in my veins. She was the oxygen in my lungs. She was the fuel that fired my heart.
I’d only been in her presence for forty-eight hours, but I’d known, the very first time I’d seen her…
Fuck.
It was too early to tell her how alive she made me feel, so I nursed the words I might have said to her in my chest, harboring them there, keeping them safe. There would come a time when I could part with them, but for now I was going to take her out of herself. I’d use every part of me to makehercome alive, and when she was done screaming my fucking name, I’d thrust my cock into her and make her do it all over again. I wasn’t going to hold back now. I wasn’t going to handle her with kid gloves.
It was harder than it should have been to rip my mouth from hers and hurry her over to the oak. The tree’s trunk was broad and thick, too wide for three people to link hands wrap their arms around in a circle. I guided Sera so that her back was up against the tree, and then I slid down her body. She didn’t move as I unfastened her jeans and tore them down her legs.
“God, Fix! Someone’s going to see us!”
I looked up her body, a deep, animal need searing at me from the inside. “Do you really care?” I asked. “If those stuffy bastards catch sight of us, it’ll probably be the most exciting thing that’s happened to any of them in decades.”
“Amy’s going to kill me,” she groaned, allowing her head to roll back to rest against the tree, too. I tugged her boots off her feet and threw them over my shoulders into the grass, one at a time, then removed her jeans entirely. Her panties were black silk, classy yet sexy. At either side, by her hips, I hooked my fingers beneath the sheer, sleek material, and I slowly shimmied them down her long, toned, beautiful legs.
“Fuck. Sera…if I’d met you five years ago…shit.”
“You were…still a priest then,” she panted.
“I was. And I would have broken every vow I’d made for you. I would have cast every belief I had aside. I would have abandoned my calling and run with you as far as I fucking could, and I never would have looked back. Not once. You’re the ultimate game changer.”
Sera parted her legs. She wasn’t a shy little kitten anymore. She’d grown brave; she was a lioness now, giving demands, and I fucking loved it. Her pussy was smooth bar a thin strip of hair. I loved that, too. A shaved pussy was one of my biggest turn-ons, but not completely hair-free. That felt wrong, like I was sleeping with a prepubescent kid, and I was going to get sprung for statutory rape. Sera was all woman, though. She wasn’t perfect. Her skin bore scars. Lots of them. Some were deep, and some shallow—mere hints at a history that intrigued and saddened me. In her flawed state, shewasperfection, though. I didn’t want a bubblegum princess who spent two hours every day curling her hair and was afraid of getting some fucking dirt under her nails. I wanted a woman who wasn’t afraid to fight for what she wanted. I wanted a rough and tumble woman who wouldn’t freeze if she felt threatened. I wanted strength, and I wanted fire, and I wanted passion, and Sera possessed all three in spades.
Dipping my head, I stroked my tongue over her bare pussy, and Sera shuddered. Her breathing was quickening by the second. She was sweet, and slick, and the moment I tasted her, I wanted to unbutton my own fly and start palming my cock, but my pants remained buttoned up. Didn’t stop my dick from straining against the denim, demanding a way out. It wanted to be squeezed and sucked. It wanted to be pushed down Sera’s throat, and holding back was going to cost me.Holy fuck, down boy.I bit back a frustrated groan, working my magic on Sera’s clit, relishing how fucking wet she was, and how she shuddered every time I flicked her with the end of my tongue.
Her breathing was fast and uneven. Music to my fucking ears. Meant I was doing my job right, and she was starting to loosen up. Her hips rocked forward, legs parting even wider, giving me greater access to her, and I lost my shit.
