Page 10 of Dirty
I downed another mouthful of tequila, grimacing as the bitter flavor bit at either side of my tongue, searing a burning pathway down the back of my throat. “Yes. I’m wet. It doesn’t change anything, though. Things turn me on all the time. I don’t give in to every single desire and whim that presents itself to me.”
“Slide your hand down your pants, Sera. Touch yourself. Show me how wet you are.”
Was he for real? I mean, there was no way I was going to do that. I’d never touched myself in front of anyone before. Never. “You can forget it, Fix.”
“Why?” I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but lust had made the timbre of his voice even deeper. He had the sexiest voice when he was talking normally. Now, visibly turned on and out of breath, the basement register of his voice made my head tilt and spin. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to tumble off the bed.
“We’re strangers,” I said, clearing my throat. “I’m not some outrageous exhibitionist. I don’t just start masturbating in front of a guy I only met a few hours ago.”
“You should try it. It’s fun,” Fix growled. “I won’t touch you, Sera. Not if you don’t want me to. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it yourself. You should enjoy yourself. You should do whatever the fuck you want to do.”
“Oh, and you get absolutely nothing out of me lying next to you, fingering myself?” I scoffed. Shit, even saying that out loud made heat pool between my legs. I was beginning to ache in a way I hadn’t ached for a very long time. It was inappropriate. It wasn’t right that my body should be responding to him the way it was, but I couldn’t control it.
“I’d get a lot out of it,” he admitted. “I’d benefit immensely from watching you slide your fingers over your wet pussy. It would drive me insane. Especially if you hitched your shirt up and pulled down your bra so your tits were exposed.”
“Haha! You’re getting greedy.” I laughed, but I was getting more and more turned around by the second. Fix was just using his right hand on himself now, and I was losing my battle with impropriety, struggling and failing to look away. Fuck, he really was something to behold. His shaft was well over eight inches, but he was thick, too. Fix’s middle finger and thumb didn’t meet around the circumference of his hard-on as he tightened his grip and increased the speed with which he moved his hand up and down.
Gareth had never wanted to have sex with the lights on, which was weird given the amount of time he’d spend flexing and posing in front of the full length mirrors in my bedroom. Fix was unabashed and unaffected by what he was doing, which somehow made the whole thing even hotter.
“Sera. Being greedy is great. Be greedy. Be demanding. Be fucking hungry. Take whatever you want. If you want to touch your pussy and make yourself feel good, then do it. If you want to touch me, if you want to stroke my cock and make me so hard that I can’t stop myself from fucking your hand, then do it. If you want me to hold you down and bury my tongue between your legs, to lick at you and tease you until you’re begging me to let you come, then let’s make it happen. If all you want is for me to stop being such a fuck up and jerking off right next to you, then tell me and I’ll stop immediately. Whatever you want, justclaimit. Let yourself go. Or tell me to fuck off. But behonest.”
“I—” My first instinct had been to tell him to put his dick away and go to sleep, but I stopped myself. Maybe…fuck, maybe he was right. I hadn’t had a single sexual experience that I’d enjoyed in so long. Where was the harm in doing something if I was going to enjoy it? And…perhaps the fact that Fix and I were strangers was a good thing. He lived in New York. I lived in Seattle. It wasn’t as though I was going to have to deal with seeing him walking through my city every other night of the week. He’d go his way, and tomorrow, as soon as the roads were clear, I’d be speeding toward Amy’s wedding. My ears were buzzing as put down the bottle of tequila, exhaling a deep, slow breath.
I was going to regret this. I knew I was. But tomorrow was future Sera’s problem, and right now, I was drunk, frustrated and, thanks to the fact that Fix had his dick in his hand and was pumping it up and down with intent, I was getting increasingly turned on.
I didn’t say anything. Instead, I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs, steeling myself, begging my hands not to shake as I ran them up the insides of my thighs.
I typically touched myself every day. It was just part of my shower routine. Being watched made the process far more intense, though. Fix’s chest began to rise and fall a little quicker, his eyelids lowering, desire pouring off him as he watched me pull my panties to the side and tentatively rub myself.
“Fuck, Sera. Your pussy is incredible. You’re soaking wet.” He loosed a sound that resembled a savage growl, and goose bumps erupted all over my skin. This was so weird. It was strange, and it was hot, and it was going to make me wish I’d never been born tomorrow, but the look on Fix’s face made me want to continue. He was observing me like I was the hottest thing he’d ever seen, and it made me feel like I was damn well glowing.
“Show me, Sera,” he whispered. “Let me look at you.” He got to his knees, positioning himself at the end of the bed, and a brief moment of panic clawed at me. I didn’t know this guy. He could be capable of anything, and I was trapped in a room with him, and there was a storm raging outside. No one would hear me if I cried out for help. Over the howling wind and rain, my voice would be drowned out and lost. Did I think he was going to hurt me, though? I looked up at Fix, where he was now kneeling in between my legs, and I only saw desire on his face. His cock was standing proud, and I wanted it. I finally admitted it to myself.I wanted to feel it in my hands. I wanted it in my mouth. And yeah, I wanted him inside me, too. I just didn’t know if I was going to be brave enough…
I sucked in a deep breath, and closed my eyes, the tips of my fingers working in small circles over my clit.
“Shit, Sera. You’re fucking beautiful.”
“What…what do you want me to do?” I asked, swallowing down the lump that had risen to my throat.
“This isn’t about me,” Fix answered. “This is about whatyouwant. If you want me to watch you, if you want me to fuck you, if you want me to leave you alone. Just say the word.”
Every time I looked at him, I was taken by surprise all over again. He wasn’t just good looking. There was something about him that made me feel very small. He was raw, untapped power, a storm trapped inside a bottle, and I got the feeling he raged day and night, no matter what. It felt unsafe being so close to him, like I was being drawn closer and closer against my will, and no matter how hard I tried to resist him, I just couldn’t. Moving slowly, I unclipped my bra at the front, underneath my shirt, and then I slipped the remainder of my clothes over my head, tossing them onto the floor beside me.
“Fuck,” Fix snarled. “Your breasts are just…” He raised a hand, then immediately withdrew it. “They’re fucking phenomenal, Sera.”
“You want to touch them,” I said quietly.
He didn’t even blink. “Yes. But I’m not going to. Not until you tell me you want me to.”
“I do. Want you to. I want you to suck and bite on my nipples.” I didn’t know where that had come from, but the moment the words were out of my mouth, I realized they were true. My breasts were swollen and full, my nipples throbbing along with the crazed tattoo of my heartbeat. Fix remained absolutely still for a moment, as if waiting for me to change my mind. When I arched my back away from the bed, allowing my eyes to shutter closed, he swore violently under his breath and moved. He cupped both of my breasts, testing the weight and the fullness of them, and then he squeezed and kneaded my flesh, a pained groan slipping free from his mouth.
“You’d look so good covered in my come.” His words sounded like metal grinding on metal. “Your body is fucking flawless.”
I knew that wasn’t true. I had plenty of scars and marks all over me from years of fielding Sixsmith’s attentions, so I was far from perfect. None of that mattered when Fix soothed me, running his hands over my skin, though. It was freeing to let someone touch me and appreciate me the way he was doing. He dipped down, and I gasped as he took my left nipple into his mouth, lightly grazing it with his teeth before he sucked.
“I want…” I stammered over the words, not sure how to just spit them out. “I want to go down on you.” I instantly regretted saying that, but it was too late to take it back now. Fix leaned back, tracing his fingers down my cheek, over my jaw and down the length of my neck, his fingers pausing over my collarbone.
“You don’t sound so sure.”
