Page 51 of Freaks
“Tisk, tisk. You know I don’t take the money. You know I don’t need it, either. I’d be hurt if you weren’t so obviously shitting yourself right now.”
“I—” I gaped, opening my mouth and then closing it again. “I amnotshitting myself.”
“You are. You’re being a coward.”
I reached for a blistering retort, but none came to hand. “You’rethe one too scared of my answer to even ask the question in the first place.”
His full mouth curved up into an amused smile, and his lone dimple appeared in his right cheek. “Fine. Sera Lafferty. Since the very first moment I aimed my sniper rifle at you and targeted you down its sights, I knew—”
“Stop! Oh my god, please, Fix, you need to stop!”
“See. You’re the coward, not me.”
“I just really don’t think this is something we should be doing in a car on the way back from a psychiatric hospital.”
“Any other excuses you want to fling out there for good measure? What about the fact that we’ve only known each other for two months?”
I nodded my head up and down like crazy. “Yes! That! That is a very good point!”
“And kids. We haven’t even talked about kids. Do you want them?”
I eyed him nervously. “Doyou?”
“You can’t ask me whatIwant, wait for me to answer, and then give the opposite answer just to prove how bad we are for each other, Sera.”
Goddamnit! How the fuck was I that obvious to him? I scowled deeply as I took the exit and then a left, heading back toward the apartment. We were almost home. So fucking close. If I didn’t shut this down now, he was going to take me upstairs and he was going to start kissing me, I would be fucking doomed. “This is completely the wrong way to go about this,” I said firmly. “You don’t even have a ring, Felix Marcosa.”
The silver in his eyes sparked as a wide, shit-eating grin took over his entire countenance. “All right. Okay. Whatever you say, Sera Lafferty.”
“Jesus. You have a ring, don’t you?”
He shrugged, laughing softly under his breath as he turned to look out of his window.
“Fix! You’re joking. You havenotgot a ring.”
“What? I didn’t say anything!” He held up his hands as I repeatedly tried to swat him to death. “Sera! Sera, fuck! Watch the road. You’re going to run Julian over.”
He was right; poor old Julian was standing right in the middle of the entryway to the underground parking lot beneath my building, looking lost. We’d arrived home and I hadn’t even noticed, I was that distracted by the conversation. I swerved around Julian and parked, then got out of the car before Fix could lock the doors and trap me inside the vehicle with him; I knew his fucking game. He got out right behind me. “You’re running away from me now. Very cowardly.”
“I’m not running away. I just have to help Julian inside. It’s my civic duty.”
My heart felt like it was skipping backwards the entire time I helped the old man inside the building and up flight after flight of stairs; Fix was right behind me, smirking like the Cheshire fucking Cat. “Some people might say that using an eighty-nine-year-old as a human shield to protect yourself from the man you love might be a little unnecessary,” he observed.
“He’s ninety actually. It was your birthday last week, right, Julian?”
“Who, me?” The old man’s head whipped back and forth between me and Fix. Poor bastard. I totallywasusing him as a human shield, and it was pathetic. The door to apartment 12B was wide open. I really was going to have to call Rhonda and get her to come over today. Julian seemed to be even more out of it than usual. I settled him in front of the TV, reheated some food for him, and fussed around the old man’s apartment, straightening things up, and all the while, Fix leaned against the wall with his arms across his chest, the same broad smirk plastered all over his face, and that damned dimple cutting into his cheek, watching me intently.
Fucker.
He didn’t belong here. He was larger than life. His presence was so huge, it felt like he sucked all the air out of a room simply by walking into it. The black t-shirt and the ripped black jeans. The way the muscles in his arms and his chest flexed whenever he laughed under his breath. His shock of devastatingly thick, dark hair, that was now a little wavy, falling into his eyes.
I wassoin love with him.
I wassofucking screwed.
Eventually, there was nothing left to do but vacate Julian’s apartment and go home. My ears were on fire, burning red hot as I opened up the door and let us in. Fix hummed quietly as he slipped past me and went into the kitchen. I heard him opening up the fridge.
For real? He was going to play it cool now? Uhhh, no way. He was biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. I stalked after him, index finger raised, ready to give him a piece of my mind, but Fix was one step ahead. Leaning against the kitchen counter, now facing me, he unscrewed the top off a beer and handed it to me, raising his eyebrows. “Look like you’ve got something you want to say there, Angel.”
