Page 32 of Freaks
“No need to look like you’re gonna shit yourself,” Fix said, smirking. “I’m not making plans, Sera. Just talking out loud. For the time being, I’m focusing on one thing, and that’s extricating us from the current clusterfuck of a situation we find ourselves in. Once that’s all said and done…”
“Yes. Once that’s said and done, we can start to think about the bigger picture,” I agreed. Relief soaked into my bones.
Time.
Once this was over and I wasn’t in danger of losing my life, we would have time to think about things like that. In the meantime, all we had to do was stay one step ahead of the game.
“I’ve freaked you out. I’m sorry for that,” Fix said, stepping closer to me. “I’m not sorry for the sentiment, though. This place will always be here, waiting for us, if you decide you want to take a run at a big, bold, beautiful,relativelynormal life with me. Now let’s forget all about it. I have something I want to ask you.” He seemed lighter. More his usual, cocky, easy self. He smirked as he leaned in close, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. “I’m wondering if you’ll hear my confession, Sera Lafferty.”
The apples of my cheeks ached as I tried not to smile. “That might be a monumental task. How long has it been since your last confession, child?” I asked in a mocking tone.
Fix was often so stoic, his facial features so well restrained that it must have been difficult for anyone who didn’t know him intimately to tell what he was feeling. I knew his secret, though. He expressed himself with those brilliant silver eyes of his, and right now they were filled with a wicked mirth.
“That was far too convincing,” he murmured. “You sure you haven’t done this before?”
“First time. But I’ve watched a lot of movies. I know how this stuff goes.”
“Well, my lady. In answer to your question, it’s been five years since my last confession. And I have been anunbelievablybad boy,” he whispered.
Holy shit. This man was going to be the death of me. “Is there something in particular that’s playing on your mind?”
“Actually, there is. I’ve been spending a lot of time with someone new recently. She’s brilliant, and beautiful, and she makes me feel alive. I’ve been having impure thoughts about her. Very,veryimpure thoughts.”
A shiver danced down my spine, sending out a wave of anticipation that made my nerve endings prickle. “I see. And this woman. She’s aware that you harbor feelings for her?”
“Oh yes. She’s very aware.”
“And do you think she feels the same way about you?”
“Iknowshe does.” The low, deep rasp of his voice was tinged with the beginnings of desire. “I see the way she looks at me. The way her body reacts whenever she’s around me. Her pupils dilate. Her cheeks turn bright red. Her lips…” He turned his head, angling himself so his mouth was hovering over mine. “She wets her lips, as if she wants me to kiss her.”
“Do you think she’d let you?” I fought to keep my voice level. Unaffected. It was impossible. Fix’s mouth lifted up at the corner—one half of a salacious grin. “Oh, yeah. She’d let me do whatever the fuck I wanted to her.”
I tutted disapprovingly. “Language, my child.”
“My girllikeswhen I say bad words,” he breathed. “She likes when I talk dirty to her.”
A scorching heat rose up my neck. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because her breathing changes,” he said casually. “Her back arches. I cansmellhow badly she wants me.”
“And what…what…” His close proximity was messing with my body. My mind. My thoughts. They were fractured, spinning around like drunken moths around a flame. “What do you tell her?”
“I tell her how hard my dick is. I tell her how badly I want to unzip my pants and take it out, so I can show her how fucking hard she makes me.” He moved as he spoke, doing exact that—unfastening his fly, his hand sliding inside his pants. He shuddered as he took hold of himself. My eyes flickered down between our bodies, but Fix used his index finger to lift my head, so that my gaze moved back to his. “I tell her when she is and isn’t allowed to look, though. I tell her that she has to play the game, or she doesn’t get to see anything.”
“That sounds like a cruel punishment to me.”
“Mmmm. But Iamcruel. I make her wait. By the time I give her permission to give in to her needs, she’s panting for me. Begging for me. Whispering all of the things she wants and needs from me.”
“You like it when she begs?” My breath hitched in the back of my throat. This was pure torture, and he knew exactly what he was doing to me. He smiled, his mouth returning to whisper in my ear.
“The sound of her begging makes me want to hold her down and pin her to the ground. It makes me want to use my tongue to lick and taste every inch of her. Makes me want to slide my fingers between the folds of her wet pussy, so I can feel how badly I’ve caused her to lose control. When she begs and pleads for me to take her, I feel like a fucking king.”
My palms were slick with sweat. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to take hold of the hem of his shirt, and I wanted to lift it up over his head, so I could feast my eyes upon the hard, packed muscle of his chest. “You enjoy feeling like a king? Does that mean you want to rule her?”
“Yes. I want to rule her. I want to own her. I want to dominate every part of her body and her mind. But that’s the thing about this woman. She’s my queen, and she has her own desires. Sometimes she wants to be ruled. Other times, she demands I obeyhercommands down to the letter. For every dirty, filthy thing I do to her, she’s free to do the same to me.”
Slowly, he reached around and placed his hand at the small of my back, drawing me to him. The negligible space between us disappeared, and his body lined up with mine, his chest pressing up against me. His hand worked between us, still down his pants, stroking himself as he sighed his dark entreaties to me. I wanted to watch what he was doing more than I wanted sleep. More than I wanted food, or light, or the air in my lungs. He could have demanded anything from me at this point,anything, and I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from giving him exactly what he wanted.
