Page 27 of Roma King
I’ve made a hobby out of learning to bury my anger and my disgust over my lifetime. I’m seriously fucking good at it. But right now, I feel like my insides are filled with boiling acid, and I can’t keep it down. Shelta’s cheeks turn a feverish shade of red—two twin spots of pure, unadulterated fury that mark her skin, the way an animal marks itself to warn others that it’s dangerous. “Watch your tongue. Lazlo had his faults. Who doesn’t? He was drunk the night you found him with Leo, and I’m sure—”
I launch myself forward, slamming my fist down onto the table as hard as I fucking can. “DON’T YOUDAREFUCKING DEFEND HIM! He was arapist. He was a pedophile, and I committed no fucking crime!”
Cool, calm, unshakable Shelta nearly shits herself. She rocks back in her seat, holding a hand to the base of her throat. “Pasha, control yourself. Perhaps…” She swallows. “Perhaps it’s better to leave the past where it belongs. In the past. I am trying to talk to you about the future. Your future, and ours. You’re nearly twenty-eight-years old. You’ve had plenty of time to shirk your obligations and run amok. Now, I’m your mother, and I’mtellingyou that you have to come back.”
“Ha!” I get to my feet, lacing my fingers together behind my head, elbows in the air. “I don’t know how the fuck you think you can order me to do anything, Shelta, but you aresofucking wrong. So fucking blind. I almost feel sorry for you.”
“You’re angry at me for letting them banish you. You’re taking that anger out on the entire clan, and it’s hurting them.”
“How am I hurtingthem?” I’m verging on hysteria. She’s so fucking manipulative. So fucking sneaky. She will literally say anything to get her own way.
“You are destroying this family! You’re destroying this clan. The Rivins have been head of the Roma for generations, and you’re about to ruin it all. If you’re not coronatedandmarried by the end of the winter, the clans are going to appoint a new a king. They’ll take the title away from our family, and we’ll have to bow down to one oftheirmen. You want that? Is that what you want for us, Pasha? For me to be stripped of all rank and title? The other clans still keep to the old ways. Women are nothing but chattel. Unclean. Good for nothing but cooking, cleaning, and pumping out babies.
“You used to love the fact that we were different,” she continues. “You enjoyed the freedoms your father and I introduced to thisvitsa. And now you’re willing to throw all that away on some point of pride? Because I hurt your feelings? Get a grip, Pasha!” Her anger subsides just as quickly as it rose. “Just listen to me. We can do this together. You and I. Very little has to change. It’s nothing but a title and a pretty woman by your side. You can still do what you want. Bewhoyou want. I can continue to make the decisions for this family. I can still be its head.”
Oh.
Wow.
So, there it is.
Crystal fucking clear.
Now it all makes perfect fucking sense.
She can try and dress it up any way she likes, but here is the truth, bold as brass, staring me right in the face. She wants me crowned and wed, soshewon’t have to give up any of her power. She wants me to secure the title for the Rivins so she won’t lose her position as queen regent, or have to defer to any of the other clans.
Un-fucking-believable.
I should have known. I should have been able to figure this one out all on my own. It’s no surprise that the other clans would push to have one of their own representatives crowned king. Why wouldn’t they, if I appeared, for all intents and purposes, to have abdicated and abandoned my family? The sneer on my face feels ugly as it contorts my features. “You’re a real piece of work,” I whisper. “You really think I’d ever agree to marry some stranger and tie myself to this family, just so life can carry on as normal foryou? You’re fuckinginsane!”
Her eyes cloud over with contempt. “Sit down, Pasha.”
“I will not fucking sit down!”
She sets her jaw, turning her attention to the tarot deck in front of her. “You’ve been dreaming, haven’t you?” she says. “I can smell it on you.”
I blast out a breath down my nose. “Everybody dreams. So what?”
“The same dream? The girl. You’ve been dreaming abouther.”
“None of your damn business.”
“Sit down, Pasha.”
“I told you. I’m not going to sit down. I’m not going to subject myself to any more of this bullshit. I’m a grown man. I can and will do whatever the fuck I want, and I sure as hell won’t be giving up whatever peace and happiness I’ve found here foryou.”
Shelta’s nostrils flare, as if she really is smelling something on me. “This woman you’re dreaming of. Nothing good will come of it. Your interactions with thesegadjeswill only bring you unhappiness. They aren’t like you. They’ll never be like you. This woman will never be able to understand you. If you get involved with her, the two of you will end up regretting it for the rest of your lives. I will personally make sure of it.”
If there was anything breakable inside this tent, I’d pick it up and hurl it at her. I’ve had enough. Seriously. My very last nerve is frayed and tattered. “You really believe this shit, don’t you? You really believe you can look inside my head and tell me what’s coming. You’re fucking delusional.”
Clasping her hands together in front of her on the table, my mother looks down at the tarot deck in front of her. “Draw three,” she commands. God knows how she can listen to the things I’m saying to her and blatantly ignore every single word. She’s always been that way, though—never paying attention to anyone else’s thoughts or feelings, unless they align with what she wants. She’s just threatened me, and she’s pretending like nothing fucking happened.
“I’m not touching that deck. You can keep your fucking parlor tricks. I’m leaving.”
“Fine. I’ll draw them for you.”
“You can’t fucking draw them for me—”
