Page 42 of The Rebel of Raleigh High
I open my mouth and Alex stills. His eyes are slightly narrowed, his nostrils flared, hands formed into the shape of fists at his sides. He’s waiting for me to deny everything he’s just said, to sweep it all aside, and he’s ready and waiting for it. He’s not going to let me get off lightly. “I do like you,” I say softly. “I shouldn’t. I—I’m just—It doesn’t matter if I like you, Alex. I can lie in bed and think about you all I want. I can watch you, and I can imagine…” Shit. This is too hard. I can’t even find the words.
His chest is rising and falling rapidly, the tendons straining in his neck. “What do you imagine?”
“Alex, please—”
“You’re not a fucking coward, Silver. Iknowyou’re not. You prove that every day that you show up at that school.What do you imagine?”
“I—” I take a deep breath. Everything is such a mess. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Kissing you,” I whisper. “Your mouth on mine. Your hands on me. Laying my head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat…”
A harsh, pained sound escapes him. “Silver…”
“I imagine us being together. I imagine having you to myself, that you were mine. It's so easy to picture walking down the hallway at Raleigh with your hand in mine because I know itwouldbe easy. It would be so much fucking better because I wouldn't bealoneanymore. I could fall in love with you, Alex. I could see myself doing that.” I nod, trying not to stumble over the terrifying words. “It wouldn’t take much. But I can’t let it happen.”
Alex is as rigid as the statue of David. He looks struck dumb by what I’ve just said. I wonder if I’ve gone too far, been too honest, saidtoomuch. Guys Alex’s age don’t talk about falling in love. They say you’re ‘seeing each other’ or ‘talking’ to avoid even calling you their girlfriend.
But he takes a slow, cautious step forward, heat radiating off him like a furnace. “Why not?” he asks. “I’m not good enough?”
“No! Of course not! God, Alex. I want you. I want all of those things! I want you to touch me. I want you to kiss me more than I’ve ever wantedanything.”
“Then just give in, Silver! Stop fucking fighting so hard.”
“I’m not fighting!”
“Yes, you are. You have been since the moment we met.Beforewe even met!” He huffs down his nose. “Fight the hard stuff. The wrong stuff. But stop fightingme. I’m neither of those things. Just…trust me.”
I’m so close to tears. “I don’t know how, Alex.” If I so much as breathe right now, I’m going to fall to pieces, and I desperately don’t want that.
He steps into me. A frigid breeze whips through the clearing between the cabin and the lake, and his wavy, dark hair blows across his face. It swirls around his head as the wind eddies, and I'm struck for the millionth time that he can't possibly be real. This dark, tortured soul, covered in so much ink, standing before me isn't the kind of creature to find his way into my life and somehow make it better. He was meant for other things.
A wolf and a rose—savage and wild, beautiful and tender. A dichotomy if ever I saw one. I realize for the very first time that the ink on the backs of Alex's hands really are an accurate representation of him. I stare at them as he slowly lifts his hand, and then he's carefully stroking his thumbs over my cheekbones, cradling my face so reverently that I think he's worried I might shatter against him.
His voice is filled with emotion as he sighs out his next words. “I promise. You won’t even need to try,Argento. I’ll make it as easy as breathing.” He moves with infinite patience, slowly, giving me every opportunity to bolt. Somehow, despite my heart fluttering in my chest like an injured bird, I stay rooted to the ground, my feet bare in the earth, as he bows down to meet me, lifting my face to him, and he kisses me.
I've been kissed before, but not like this. Not like it means something. Not like it really is a promise. It starts slow, tentative, gentle, but I can feel the unrest in him. I know he wants to claim me with his mouth, but he holds back. He's patient with me, and I…I begin to feel the fractured pieces inside me slowly starting to hurt a little less. His fingers thread into my hair as he slowly guides my mouth open.
The moment the wet heat of his tongue touches my lips, something is kindled in me—the beginnings of a fire I already know will burn out of control if given half a chance. I’m hot all over, eaten alive by both fear and need as he pulls me to him, firmly holding me against his chest. The taste of him fills my head, cool and fresh like mint.
I surprise myself when I reach up and place my hand at the back of his neck, pulling down so he can kiss me harder. Maybe I’m proving something to myself now, meeting him in the middle, daring to slide my tongue into his mouth, too. Icando this. I want it more than anything I've ever wanted before. I fit against him, so much smaller than him, like a piece of a puzzle falling into place, and in one blindingly quick moment, I begin to believe in this. In him. In us. That there canbean us, without the fear that’s been festering in me like a poison ruining everything in the span between heartbeats.
I didn’t know it, but I’ve been waiting for him for a long time now.
When he pulls away, breath ragged, eyes wide, his pupils are blown, turning his irises almost black. “That's it then, Argento. The decision's been made. You're mine, and I'm yours. And the whole of Raleigh High is gonna know about it by five minutes past eight, Tuesday morning.”
