Page 51 of Reckless At Raleigh High
“What the fuck! I’m not putting my seatbelt on until I know that you haven’tactually gone and lost your fucking mind.”
I’m fizzing with anger. I can’t help it, not that I should have to. Cameron belted me hard enough to ring my fucking bell and then some. It hurt way more when my head smashed into the fucking window, though. My temple feels like someone just took a sledgehammer to it.
“If Iweremore like you, both your legs would already be broken, I’m betting,” Cam says. He tries to pretend that he’s just rubbing his hand over the top of his thigh, but the way he’s flexing his fingers suggests he probably hurt himself almost as much as he hurt me when he lamped me. “Tell me something.” He turns sharply, gunning me down with a vicious glare. “Have you ever killed anyone?”
“What?No! God, can you stop being so fucking crazy for one second? You’re not the fucking Godfather.”
“Have you been present when that boss of yours has killed someone?” he asks.
No, of course I haven’t, Cam.
This is what I’m a second away from saying. I close my mouth on the lie I was about to tell, quickly looking away. Fuck, it hurts to clench down on my jaw but it’s the only thing keeping me from losing my shit right now.
Gary was the last man I let hit me like this. When I was young and smaller than him, there was nothing I could dobutlet him hit me. The moment I was strong enough to retaliate, I threw my punches as hard as I could manage, and I didn’t hold back. I was hit plenty of times in juvie, too. Not once did I allow someone to get away with the infraction unpunished. My body wants to launch a counterstrike of epic proportions against the man sitting next to me in the driver’s seat…but I can’t allow that to happen.
He's Silver’s father. I like him more than I thought possible. And…well, he kind of owed me a jaw-rattler. I’ve hardly been subtle when it’s come to Silver. I’ve disrespected his home, and him in turn, with some of the shit I’ve done to his daughter under his roof. I don’t blame him for wanting to tan my hide. Fuck, I totally deserve a beating, I guess. That doesn’t stop the fire in my veins from demanding I grab him by his fucking throat and choke him out until he stops breathing.
“I don’t work for Monty anymore.” I grit the words out between my teeth, the coppery tang of blood coating my tongue. “I quit working at the Rock. I’m not gonna be around that kind of shit anymore.”
“Oh, yeah?” Cam doesn’t sound convinced. Sounds like he thinks I’m fucking stupid. “And your pal Monty just waved a hand in the air and said, “Cool, see you around, man. Nice knowing you.’ Is that what happened? He wasn’t even slightly concerned that the guy who’s been cleaning up his messes for him the past god knows how long just…doesn’t feel like doing it anymore?”
I don’t say anything. I’m not accustomed to being spoken to like this. Not even by Monty. Cam hisses angrily under his breath. He turns the key in the ignition, and the van grumbles to life. He reverses back out of the tiny parking lot way too fast, not even bothering to pause and check for on-coming traffic before he veers out onto the road.
He drives down Main Street, muttering furiously to himself. It’s not until we’re pulling into Raleigh High’s parking lot and he’s cutting the engine again that he quits muttering and speaks to me properly. “I wanted to be the cool dad, y’know. I was doing all kinds of shit when I was Silver’s age, so I figured fuck it. Better that I know what she’s up to. Better that I know where she is and who she’s with. I’ve never once judged you, Alex. Most fathers in my position would have shot fucking first and asked questions later. But I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I thought…Cam, it’s gonna be fine. They’re just kids, figuring out their shit—”
“God…you’re making it sound like I knocked Silver up and fled the state, Cameron. I love her. You know I love her. You knew we were…having sex…” I say, awkwardly tripping over the last two words. “She’s not just some—”
“OF COURSE I KNEW YOU WERE HAVING SEX!” he roars.
Stunned, I immediately shut the fuck up.
He smashes his fist into the steering wheel, and the van’s horn lets out a surprisedmeep!that sounds patently fucking ridiculous. “I didn’t care about that,” he says, panting a little too fast. “I wasn’t fucking thrilled about it. Don’t get me wrong. No father’s stoked to know that their only daughter’s no longer a—never mind. The sex thing…whatever. But you did something far worse tonight, Alessandro Moretti.”
My head’s spinning. Throwing my hands in the air, I try to figure out what his deal is, but he’s making it fucking impossible. “Cameron, I don’t know what you think I’ve done, but—”
“Do you think I’m stupid?” he asks, shaking his head angrily. “Is it the glasses? Do they make it seem as though I can’t fucking see, Alex? ’Cause I hate to break it to you, but that’s what they’re there for. They make things pretty damn crystal clear, even from across an average-sized diner.” He pauses. Takes a slow, tense breath. And then he lands a blow that rocks me way harder than his right hook. “You asked my seventeen-year-old daughter to marry you, didn’t you, you little fuck?”
How? How can he know that? No way Silver would have told him. She made me promise to come with her to break the news. She hasn’t left my side since we fled the diner…
I stare at him, trying to figure out how any of this has come to pass.
Out of nowhere, Cameron’s anger disintegrates. He sags back into his seat, letting his arms fall to his sides. “A silence like that’s gonna betray you every time,” he murmurs. “Doesn’t matter, though. Not really. See, I know my daughter, and I know what it feels like to love someone the way she loves you. I can see it in her eyes. The way she looked at you after you whispered in her ear…” Again, he shakes his head; he can’t seem to stop repeating the motion. “I knew what you’d done the second I saw that look on her face.”
A sour, bitter knife twists in my chest. I should have seen this coming a mile away. “What? So, it’s one thing letting your daughter date the bad boy for a little while, when she’s young and wild, but another thing entirely letting her saddle herself with him for the rest of her life?”
I wait for his confirmation. It’s obvious, for fuck’s sake. He’s been tolerating me since I rolled up on my bike and now he’s done playing at the ‘cool dad,’ as he so eloquently put it. He’s going to put his foot down, and he’s going to try and take her away from me. And the very worst part is that there’s nothing I can do about it. I won’t come between Silver and her father. Iwon’tdo it. It would be the most selfish thing I’ve done.
Cameron heaves out a heavy, dejected sigh. For a moment he says nothing, gazing blankly out of the windshield, but then he rubs his hands over his face and speaks. “Do you really think I see things so black and white? This has nothing to do with you, asshole. This is abouther.”
Well, that’s a surprise. I chew on that for a beat, trying to level out my frustration. “You don’t think I’ll make her happy?”
He laughs, frustrated. “I’m sure you will. But this isn’t the life I envisioned for her, Alex. Married at seventeen? You say you’re too smart now but trust me. You’ll end up with kids before you know it, before either of you really know how the hell to be adults yourselves, and that’ll be it. She’ll end up getting a practical qualification at night school because it’ll help her get a steady, reliable job. And you’ll do your best, too. I know you will. But fuck…” He trails off, closing his eyes, and the flash of pain that crosses his features stuns the shit out of me. “It makes for a small life, Alex. Making do. Getting by. Doing just enough. I want so much more for her than that. She deserves the biggest life imaginable. She’s supposed to be an astronaut or a fucking explorer in the Amazon, not a goddamn admin worker.”
Inhaling a steady breath, I cross my arms, letting my chin rest on my chest. “I want her to fly, Cam. I’m never going to clip her wings. Beingmarried—” Shit, why is that so hard to say out loud to him? "—won’t mean she can’t chase down her dreams. I’m never going to stand in the way of the things she wants.”
“Easy to say. But twenty years down the line, when you’re both turning forty and all you’ve done is get by, then what? Are you gonna do something stupid and have a fucking affair? What then?”
Oh…
