Page 46 of Reckless At Raleigh High
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac flows out of me, the first line of the song already out of my mouth before I even realize that I’m singing.
I donotsing.
At least not in front of people.Neverin front of people. This is something I do by myself, alone, when I’m sure no one can hear me. My father, Mom, Max. Not even Alex. I’ve never evenhummedin front of him for fear of embarrassing myself.
“I took my love and I took it down…”
Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit. What am I doing? My own damned fear paralyzed my senses and I just reacted, just did what came naturally, and it’s too late now. I can’t just…stop. I’m on fire, my cheeks burning, my body shrinking, like I might be able to fold in on myself and just disappear…
“Climbed a mountain and turned around…”
Just breathe, Silver. Just breathe.Alex’s words ring in my ears, reminding me to fill my lungs, which is a good thing because I’m about to fall off my chair any second now. I daren’t turn my head to look at him. If I do, I won’t be able to keep going.
He was supposed to join in with me, playing a harmony along with the music, but he never comes in. His guitar remains resolutely silent next to me, and all I can think to myself is holy fucking shit, what if he thinks I’m the worst thing he’s ever heard?
Line after line I sing, my voice soft, lacking the power and confidence that bolsters it whenever I’m in the Nova on my own, or in the shower. Still, I hit the notes one after the other, emotion slipping into the lyrics, and before I know it, I’m lost. I’m on a journey with Stevie Nicks. I feel her pain. It’smypain, and it bleeds through as each word leaves my mouth.
I dare to look up from the spot on the floor in front of me—the same spot I’ve been staring at since I slipped up and started to sing—and there, on the other side of Harry’s my Dad is on his feet, a hand pressed against his expensive grey button-down shirt that he wore here for me tonight, and he’s looking at me like he doesn’t even recognize who I am.
Oh my god. I’ve never seen him look so shaken and so…proud. My voice cracks, an ache burning in the back of my throat, but I keep on singing, too afraid to stop now.“Can I sail through the changing ocean tides…”
It’s as if a spell has been broken when Alex finally begins to play. I almost sob with relief at the sound of his guitar joining in with mine. I don’t feel quite so alone with him playing along, and the deeper, earthier texture of the music he plays compliments the light, brightness of my own. The rest of the song is easy because he’s with me every step of the way, every note and every rise and fall in the melody. When I pluck the last string, the song coming to an end, a wave of release comes crashing down over me, and it feels as though a breath I’ve been holding for a very long has finally been set free.
The crowd gathered inside Harry’s sits in silence, staring dumbly at us. They’re so quiet you could hear a pin drop. And then, from the counter, a single clap…
Dad.
He claps again. My eyes meet his, and I can’t bear it. I have to look away. It’s just too much. All too much. Applause, loud and raucous erupts inside the diner, the patron’s meals and warm drinks forgotten about as people slap their hands against the tables and stamp their feet against the floor.
I nearly have a heart attack when I feel a hand land gently on my shoulder. Alex faces his back to the crowd, the way I did earlier, and he whispers into my ear. “Marry me,Argento.”
“What?!” Leaning sideways, I try to look at him, but he places his hand against the side of my face, preventing me from turning. I laugh, too high-pitched, too adrenalin-soaked to react any other way. “Very funny. Sit down, Alex. We need to play another song before I lose my nerve.”
He takes his other hand and places it on my other cheek so that he’s cradling my face. Now he lets me turn to him, away from the crowd, so only I can seehisface. His eyes are burning with emotion, fierce and determined. His expression is more serious than I’ve ever seen it before. A jolt of alarm squeezes at my heart. “Marry me, Argento,” he breathes. “Say yes to me before I lose my fucking mind. I can’t live another fucking second in a world where you haven’t promised to spend the rest of your life with me. I fucking can’t.” He shakes his head, rubbing his thumbs against my cheekbones, his eyes so bright that he looks a little mad.
“Alex—”
“Yes,Argento. God damnit, do it. You’ve gotta say yes.”
22
ALEX
The last place on earth a girl should be proposed to is Harry’s fucking Diner, in front of a bunch of strangers. I didn’t plan on proposing at all, but the moment Silver opens her mouth and starts to sing, I see her in that music room she talked about, dust motes spiraling on the air, and she’s bathed in sunlight, happy and perfect andhome, and I want to give her the dream life she painted on the cabin so badly that it actually fuckinghurts.
People often wonder how they’d react in a war type situation. When gunfire ‘s ripping through the air and shells are exploding all around them, shaking the ground beneath them, will they fall apart, or will all of that chaos galvanize them? I’ve never had to wonder that. I know war. I’ve lived through it nearly every day of my life. I’m used to the sky falling down and the ground renting open where I’m about to place my feet. I’ve never let the chaos and the calamity get the better of me.
Love, on the other hand? Hah. It’s takenloveto finally break me. I never could have seen Silver coming. There was no warning. No shot across the bow. If there had been, I could have braced myself for what was right around the corner, but instead she took me out like a goddamn sidewinder missile, blowing a crater in my chest a mile wide. There’s no surviving her, I know that much. When the first line of ‘Landslide’came out of her mouth and the sweet sound of her lilting voice hit my ears, it was like a bomb going off in mysouland any lingering thoughts I might have had about waiting to ask her this question went up in smoke. It took all of my willpower not to stop her from playing halfway through the song, so I could drop down on my knees and beg her to be mine right there and then.
“Yes,Argento. God damnit, do it. You’ve gotta say yes.”I know how crazy I sound. I also know that Harry’s is perhaps the least romantic place in Washington, and this should be happening somewhere far, far nicer, and there should be a ring, and a million other things should be different, and I should have been a better guy and asked Cameron for permission first…wait. God, what year is this?Do men still have to ask for permission to propose? Cameron’s gonna fuckingkillme. Why…why hasn’t she said anything yet?
I search Silver’s face, looking for some clue that might tell me what she’s thinking. Her expression is so stunned, though, that I have no idea what she’s going to say. My heart is a tense fist, refusing to beat…
“Timing’s pretty spectacular, Moretti,” she whispers.
Behind us, the crowd’s starting to get restless. They’ve begun talking amongst themselves, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I need a goddamn moment. I need three. I need for Silver to give me an answer before my head fucking explodes. “Argento,” I growl. “Are you afraid of a life with me?”
“No.”
