Page 61 of Riot Act
Chase laughs softly, stirring the piece of hair that’s fallen across her face. My right hand twitches, wanting to reach up and sweep it out of the way, but I catch myself before I can do anything of the sort. “Whatever you say,” she mutters. “I know how you feel, though. I always felt the same way. Surrounded by people. Engaged. Laughing. Connected.” She pauses. “But always set apart. Always different. Always on the outside.”
I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t ditched that joint off the roof now. The way she’s speaking doesn’t brook any argument. She’s speaking facts and she knows she is, and the whole thing is too raw and too uncomfortable for my liking. Time to makeherfeel uncomfortable, I think.
“Fine. You know what? Wecanbe friends. We can be best buds just as soon as you tell me why you tried to kill yourself.”
Her whole body goes still.
Her breath catches in her throat.
Yeah, that’s what I thought, asshole.
With exaggerated care, she sits up, unfolds herself, and lets her legs hang over the edge of the roof. “I’m not telling you that,” she says quietly.
“Why not? I thought you were fearless. Don’t tell me you’reafraidof simply explaining why you did something so fuck—”
Facing forward, eyes piercing the dark, she grips the edge of the roof. “What are your conditions, Pax? To this whole thing. Tell me what they are, and I’ll give you mine.”
“You don’t get to have conditions.”
“Just shut up and tell me.”
I can’t remember the last time someone told me to shut up and didn’t earn themselves a black eye for their audacity. Her bravery is somewhat entertaining, though. I suppose I’ll let the infraction slide. “Firstly, we arenotdating.”
A bark of laughter splits the night air in two. She claps her hand over her mouth, holding back another one. “I—I didn’t think we were,” she says, chuckling.
Asshole.
“Secondly, you don’t tell Carrie or Stillwater about anything we do together.”
“Why? Are you worried about what they think?”
“I don’t give a shit what they think. I just don’t like them. And it’s none of their fucking business.”
She pulls a face at that. “Fair enough. They don’t like you either. And I doubt they’ll want the gory details anyway.”
“Of course they will. They’re both nosy as fuck. Thirdly, like I said in my bedroom,wedon’t talk about this. We don’t need to have any deep-and-meaningfuls about our emotions, or what we’re thinking about. We don’t even talk about the sex. We meet. We fuck. We peace out. You good?”
“Oh. I amsogood.” She’s trying not to smile. I can’t tell if it’s because she’s wasted and just naturally fighting off the giggles, or because she thinks I’m being ridiculous. Whatever the case, this act of insubordination is not okay.
“Are you done?” she asks.
“No, we are not done. Last one. When I tell you to come to the house, you come to the house.”
She chews on the inside of her cheek. “What if I need to study?”
“You come to the house. Study in the afternoons after class, before dinner. Your evenings are mine when I want them.”
“Fine. What if…I’m on my period?” She says this like she’s gonna have me stumped. As if she’s finally got one over on me.
“You. Come. To. The. House.”
“Seriously?”
“I’ve already knelt in a lake of your blood, Chase. I’ve already had it on my tongue. I don’t fucking care if it comes out of your wrists or your pussy. Ain’t gonna faze me one bit.”
She looks both horrified and turned on; a warm sensation floods my chest at the sight of her expression. Oh, she has no idea how fucking dirty I’m gonna get with her. The depraved, filthy things I have planned for her are going to ruin her for all other men. Her fucking period isn’t gonna stop me in my tracks. “So? Can you deal with those conditions?” I demand.
Right away, she answers. “Yes. I’ll adhere to them. But I have two of my own. And they’re non-negotiable.”
