Page 30 of Riot Reunion
He closes his eyes. I let him sit like that for a long time while he processes what’s just happened. I don’t say a word. When the waitress returns with our food—two of the biggest burgers I have ever seen, plates overflowing with French fries—she looks surprised when she sees that neither of us has really touched our coffee. She probably thought we’d be requesting a refill already.
“There we go, boys. We'll be hit with the late afternoon rush soon, so I've brought you the check now, just to speed up the process —”
I hand her three twenties, ignoring the sticky billfold that she's placed down on the table. She wants us gone, that much is clear, and I don't want to be here, trapped inside a quaint family restaurant, a moment longer than is humanly necessary, either. The quicker I can convince Pax to eat and leave with me, the better for everybody concerned. “Keep the change,” I tell her.
She inclines her head gratefully, acknowledging that she and I appear to be on the same page, and then moves on to the next table to take their order. Pax’s phone buzzes on the table. He picks it up immediately, eyes darting from left to right as he reads the message that just came through.
“Is it her?” I ask, trying to interpret the dark scowl on his face.
“No. It’s Cross. He keeps trying to convince me to go on this fucking Japan trip with him. He’s not taking no for an answer.”
“That can definitely wait, then.” Turning back to Pax, I pluck a fry from my plate and point it at my friend. “Spit it out,” I say.
His face contorts into an incredulous expression. “The hell are you talking about?”
“Say exactly what's in your head. Come on. All of it. All of the fucked up, scared, angry, confused bullshit that's swirling around inside that thick skull of yours. Get it all out as quickly as possible, otherwise you’re gonna have a breakdown.”
“I don't know what you’re talking about. I'm absolutely fine.”
This is categorically the most insane, laughable thing that Pax Davis has ever said, and my boy has said some ridiculous fucking things in his time. “You're not fine,” I counter. “I'mnot fine, and I'm not the one who just found out that I impregnated my girlfriend. There isno waythat you’re okay, dumbass.”
Defiantly, Pax levels me with a wicked glare. “We don't even know that it's mine, though, do we?” Halfway through this sentence, I watch him break. He regrets voicing the sentiment before it's even past his lips. A shadow falls across him—a heavy cloud that seems to throw the whole café into darkness.
Leaning across the table toward him, I stab my finger against the laminated menu the waitress left behind. “You say some seriously ugly shit when you're mad, you know that? Presley hasn't been sleeping with anyone else. You know she's in love with you. You know that'syourkid inside her belly. Far be it from me to tell you how to react in this situation, but if you're gonna say any more dumb shit like that, best to get it all out here and now, while we’re away from the girls.”
“Ohyeah?” Pax spits nastily.
“Yeah. Say that kinda shit in front of Presley and she'll never forget it. It'll be burned into her memory forever. There won't be any taking it back. Is that what you want? Once you've cooled down and had a chance to gain a little perspective, you're not gonna feel like this, dude. But say something like that and the damage will be permanent. There'll be no coming back from it.”
He knows I'm right. I see it on his face. He scowls, looking out of the window at the wintery scene on the other side of the glass, his brows pinched together in a furious black line. “How? How can this have happened?” he whispers.
“Hah! Seriously? Iknowyou were bored for most of your time at Wolf Hall, but you're a smart guy. You know how babies are ma—”
“That'snothelping.”
I shut up.
Pax fidgets, agitated, in his seat. He takes a sip from his coffee, closes his eyes, and exhales deeply. “She's on birth control. Has been the entire time we've been together. I'm not stupid, okay. I do know how these things work. I've seen her take the damn pills every time we've spent the night together, so tell me, smart ass.Tellme how something like this fucking happens.”
“Terrible fucking luck?” It's not the answer that he’s looking for. Not the one he needs. It's the only one he's going to get, though. Birth control methods are highly effective these days, yes, but highly effective doesn’t mean infallible.
Pax picks up a packet of sugar and bends it in half, back and forth, one way and then the other. “She didn't tell me,” he says. “She didn't call me to tell me what was going on.”
“Yeah. God knows why,” I say, sarcasm dripping from my words. “It's not like you'd have reactedbadlyor anything.”
“You have a fucking death wish, Jacobi?”
“I'm just saying—”
“Well, don’t.”
He has a point. I know I shouldn't be giving him shit right now, but it's impossible to overlook the fact that Pax saw Presley Maria Witton Chase’s belly and instantly lost all sense of reason. If I were her, I wouldn't have told him, either. I'd have been scared out of my mind every time I even fuckingthoughtabout confessing this sorry state of affairs to him. “I’m not saying I’d be handling this any better than you,” I say.
He rolls his eyes. “Yes, you fucking are.”
“No. I’m not.”
“Then whatareyou saying? Cause from where I’m sitting, it seems an awful lot like you’re judging the fuck out of me.”
