Page 49 of Unmasked Rivalry
They have arms full of snacks, blankets, pillows, and expressions that tell me they know what happened but they’re here for me. They’re here for me. Not him. Me. That warms my heart and the tears start again. Mera drops the blankets in her hands and rushes over, dropping to her knees and pulling me into her arms like she knows just how to glue the sharp pieces back together and hide all the bloody cracks.
I let her, because the ache in my chest is an open wound and I need someone, anyone, to keep me from slipping under. Sable comes and sits cross-legged beside us, and Nia peels open a king-size bag of peanut M&Ms like this is her primary medical intervention.
I take a handful, but I don’t taste them.
I just chew emptily.
Sable and Nia move, cleaning up the glass around me while Mera sits beside me, just holding my hand wordlessly, letting me know she’s there and that feels really nice. My family. The one I made, not the one I was given.
I eventually find my voice. “He lied,” I whisper, voice raw. “He fucking lied to me this whole time.”
Nia flings the empty chocolate wrapper at my leg and says, “I could make a voodoo doll, we could all do wicked things to it. Just say the word and I’m there.”
I almost laugh.
Almost.
Sable stops, bag in hand, her eyes meeting mine, “I have seen a man have his kneecaps broken before, very painful. I could do it if you need.”
Oh, I’m quite certain she would.
Then Mera, voice barely a whisper, says, “He looked really fucked up, Callie. Not like normal sad, like...fucked up. He smashed up Wolfe’s desk and then just got on his bike and left. Not even Wolfe’s threats could stop him.”
I want to say I don’t care. I want it so much, but my throat is glass and I can’t even get the words out.
Mera sighs. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but you know we are here.”
But I do. I have to.
If I don’t get the words out, I’ll drown under the weight of them. So I tell them about the audio file, and the way he said it wasn’t about me, and how he was doing it to protect Harper and Ruger.
“He still lied, though,” Nia says, when I’m done. “He could have told you he was the reason that Ruger had been put away.”
“All this time,” I croak. “He knew how much it hurt me, he knew I was trying to clear Ruger’s name, he knew all of it and he lied. He just straight out acted like he didn’t know a single thing when all along he had the answers.”
“Do you think it’s because maybe he didn’t think he would actually care for you?” Mera suggests, carefully.
“Maybe, but either way, I can’t know if he was ever going to tell me. It’s too late now, anyway. Ruger is in prison and Harper is dead. Maybe that could have been avoided, all of it.”
“Did you know Ruger was helping Harper?” Sable asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
There is so much I don’t know.
Everyone falls silent.
What more is there to say?
After a while, Mera says, “Want to watch a movie?”
“Only if it’s about women setting men on fire,” I mumble.
Nia grins. “You’re speaking my language, girl.”
We set up in the living area using my laptop to watch the movie. Blankets, pillows, popcorn, and chocolate surrounding us, we all snuggle in. Every few minutes, Mera reaches over and squeezes my hand like she’s making sure I’m still alive.
I am.
