Page 4 of Snowed in with My Pucking Ex
Other reasons pushed me to move away from Noel Falls and stop speaking to Winter as well. The first, namely being her grandfather. Winter and I hadn’t been dating for very long at the time when I’d run into her grandfather in the village. I was crazy about her already at that point, and was in one of the small shops attempting to find her a sterling silver locket. I wanted to surprise her and get something engraved to make it an extra special gift. Even with us being young at the time, I’d already felt deep inside that she was different somehow.
Anyway, I’ll never forget the look he’d given me when I’d told him about my plan and gift for his granddaughter. I was expecting a pat on the back and to be cheered on, that I was doing a good job of treating her sweetly before making it official and asking her to be my long-distance girlfriend while I went to college. I thought maybe she’d even want to come with me…
Instead, I got a lecture that hit me straight out of left field and had my chest aching as he went on to explain how easily Winter’s mind could be influenced at her age. He was quite clear on her family's worries and how they all believed she’d give up on her dreams to follow me along, while I chased mine. I tried to make him see reason and explain how I’d never expect anything of the sort from her, but he was adamant in his beliefs, and that in the end…
I’d be the one to ruin her life.
There was no way I could allow myself to stand in her way of achieving whatever she wanted. My parents had raised me to believe that when you truly care for someone, you sacrifice if necessary. You let the person spread their wings and fly; never hold them back.
I did what was asked of me, no matter how much it bothered me. I ended our short relationship, and I quietly slipped away into the background. Then, I left for college, refusing to ever clip Winter’s wings and to only set her free.
I can’t say I nursed a huge heartache for long. Was I sad when I first pulled away from her? Of course. Like I mentioned, when Winter and I were together, I felt a deeper connection with her. It was probably way too strong and much too fast for it to be happening, but it never got the chance to fully blossom, and, in the end, I think I missed our friendship the most.
When I told her we couldn’t be together anymore, she stopped speaking to me altogether. Not that I can blame her for it. If the roles had been reversed, I’d probably have done the same thing. At the time, I thought she hated me, so I left her alone. Now that I’m older and can look back at the situation, I can see she was hurting. If I could go back and do things differently, I would’ve kept trying to talk to her so she knew I was truly sorry, and we could’ve possibly remained friends over the years.
The spark between us is still there. I felt it the moment I looked into her eyes and then more strongly when she fell into my arms. It was as if she was meant to be there all along, and I was too foolish to shake myself out of my college stupor before being bogged down with studies and practices, to let myself ever remember. Then, my college time ran out, and the NHL quickly took over everything. Life just kept pushing me further and further away from Winter. Now, it’s almost as if we’re two strangers who have this overwhelming chemistry, but she’s still too hurt from the past to acknowledge it, and would rather pretend she doesn’t know me at all.
It's okay, we may not bemeant to betogether forever, or perhaps we are, and our meeting each other like this iskismet. Either way, I’m not making the same mistake as I did before. I plan to talk to her every chance I get. Maybe, just maybe, I canget her to stop seeing me as a bad guy and be able to have one of my friends back.
I’d love to have more time with her. I’ve never lost interest, in fact, but I don’t know if she’d ever give me a true chance. Besides, I’m not sure if nursing a freshly broken heart is what I need over the holidays and then straight into the second half of our season, if she were to turn me down.
I silently send up thanks that I have my strict practice schedule to keep up with while I’m at home, and that I keep up with it, because there’s a chance she never would’ve gotten a ride had I not been on my way. Some of my teammates like to say that I go too hard on our days off, even when we’re supposed to be resting and relaxing with our families, but I can’t help it. Hockey has given me everything I have in life, including the nice-sized nest egg I’ve set aside for whenever Mom decides to hang up her scrubs and retire. I want her to be comfortable, so I work hard for my high-paying contracts and signing bonuses.
I’ve also been setting some of my money aside in stocks and bonds for whatever I plan to do in the second half of my life, as well as investing in small start-up businesses that have struggled and been denied by banks. My time is coming up, and I know retirement is just a year or two away, most likely. If I were a goalie, for example, I’d still have another five or ten years left in me, but I’m not that lucky.
Since I’m not protected as much in my gear and take a lot of hits, injuries are unavoidable, and I know it’s just a matter of time before a fresh-faced rookie comes in and claims my spot. I’m not bitter about it, truly. I’ve had my time in the spotlight with a successful career and stats, so when the time does finally come, I can embrace it with class. I think the hardest part, aside from not being on the ice with a team, is deciding what to do after. I’m hoping that with me being home around Mom, she can help guide me a little as to where my focus should be for thosenext steps. I figure if anyone in the world knows me best and can help me decide, it’s her.
Releasing a breath, I set my gear down in the laundry room and take my shoes off. Even being in my thirties, I know better than to push my luck with walking through the house carrying stinky equipment in my dirty boots. “Hey, Mom, I’m back. Gonna shower then I’ll be down,” I yell by way of greeting, then quickly take the steps leading up to the second story and to my room. It’s my childhood home, but thankfully, Mom took mercy on me and removed all the posters and every other teenage piece of me out of my room. Now, it’s my home away from my apartment, the place I can turn my cell off and relax.
I make my way into the living room after I’ve washed and thrown on a fresh pair of sweats. The fire’s roaring in the fireplace, which reminds me I still need to head outside and chop some more wood. I try to keep Mom stocked up with every trip I make here, so she never has to worry about it and doesn’t end up hurting herself trying to be a lumberjack on top of everything else she does. The woman never stops going, but I guess staying busy keeps her happy.
“Mom?”
“Hey, Sean. I’m in here,” she calls from the kitchen. I find her at the counter with sandwich stuff spread everywhere. “Hungry?”
I nod. With all of my training, I’m basically a bottomless pit. “Starving.” I immediately jump in beside her, assembling my club sandwich while she makes hers. “Fresh bread?”
“Yep. I’d love to claim that I’m the one who baked it, but it was Brenda.”
“Brenda, as in Winter’s mom?” I clarify, because there are three Brendas who live in town.
She nods. “Mmhm. She makes the best sourdough around, although I don’t know how she finds the time to do it.” Shelaughs and picks up her sandwich, taking a big bite while leaning her hip against the counter.
I copy her by taking a bite and resting my back against the counter. It feels good on the lower lumbar, where I always seem to be sore these days. “Mm. Good idea on the sandwich.”
“Right? Told you.” She takes another bite before asking, “Did you get the stuff from the store I’d asked you to, while you were in Noelville?”
It’s the closest city to Noel Falls, hence the names being nearly the same to each other. Noelville is small compared to most cities, but big enough that they have the chain grocery stores and the only professional hockey rink within a hundred-mile radius. “Of course. I did forget the bags in my truck, though, so I’ll have to run out after I eat this. I still need to go outside and take care of some more wood for you anyhow.”
“How did I get so lucky to have a son like you?”
I shrug, flashing a smile full of sandwich like I used to do as a teen, making her groan with disgust. I cover my mouth, laughing. After I chew and swallow, I confess, “I found a car nearly in the ditch on my way home.”
“Oh yeah? Anyone we know?”
“Winter.”
Her eyes light up, her lips tipping into a small smile. “Her mother told me she’d be here for the holidays. Supposedly, she’ll be in town for a full month. I have a feeling that later on today, when she discovers her father hurt himself and can’t work the farm much, she’ll be staying even longer. I understand they didn’t want to worry Winter and have her drive all this way through the snow while distracted, but at the same time…”
