Page 70 of Broken Trust
It didn’t help, and they fell anyway in hot trickles she couldn’t stop. She dashed them away and grabbed her coat, but they returned in seconds.
For a few seconds, she just stood there, shuddering over her half-zipped duffel. The noise in her head drowned out everything she was up against—entering the Pentagon was no easy feat, even with the Charlie team clearing her path. And she couldn’t be distracted by her own emotions when she met Kent. She needed all her wits to keep the world from exploding.
In that second, she realized her mind was circling the problem like that chopper hovering over the ground outside.
She wasn’t doing anything that Liam didn’t do.
He left to join Blackout. Not any military team but a deep ghost ops team. He couldn’t be distracted by his emotions, not when he was trying to keep the world from exploding too.
Another wet tear splashed on the nylon of her bag, leaving a dark spot like a wound. She scrubbed at her face with the heel of her hand.
“Stupid. You’re being stupid,” she muttered to herself. Another tear streamed down her cheek. Helpless, she snatched a top from her bag and mopped her face.
A knock startled her, and she dropped the blouse with a gulping breath.
The door eased open, and Kennedy slipped in first, her blonde hair caught up in a messy knot. Sophie followed. Their faces carried the same hint of sympathy mixed with the look of women who’d already pieced together the story.
“I need to go in a minute.”
Sophie nodded. “We know.”
“Don’t you both have roles in the op?” Elin tried to sound composed, but her voice cracked halfway through.
Kennedy assessed her like a concerned sister might. If Elin had a sister, instead of no one. “The team is caught in a last-minute briefing, so we thought we’d take a minute to check on you.”
Elin issued a rough laugh. “You mean check on the woman who can’t keep her emotions out of the mission?”
Sophie crossed the room to slip an arm around her shoulders. “We all know what it’s like to love a ghost. It’s not easy.”
She sniffled.
Sophie gestured to her bag on the bed. “So you’re leaving?”
“Con gave me clearance to work remotely. I told him I need space. That’s not the same as quitting. I just can’t stay here…wanting…achingfor something I can’t have.”
Kennedy drifted forward and sat on the edge of the bed. “You think we didn’t all feel that at one time?”
Elin met her gaze, surprised by the raw honesty there.
“Honey, these men are trained to push their feelings down. When they signed on, they had to give up the idea of ever having a relationship, a family. Then it slowly became possible.”
Sophie gave her a squeeze. “Multiply that by combat trauma and training and you get a man who has been ordered to eat, breathe and fight. Not feel.”
Tears pushed at Elin’s throat. “I understand all that. I might even be able to live with it…if he’d given me the chance. But he vanished from my life. Igrievedhim.”
The ladies traded a look. “She needs to talk to Indika,” Sophie said.
“Who is that?”
“Apollo was on the Charlie team, then he switched to Alpha. She believed he was dead too. Then he came back into her life.”
She issued a shaky sigh. “I can’t wrap my head around all this.”
Kennedy offered a smile that was tender with sympathy. “They teach men like Mason that control is survival.”
“You blindsided him. Everyone in this house can see he’s head over heels for you.”
She wanted to believe it. But it was easier to deny—to stay angry because anger was easier than aching. She let out a soft snort. “He’s never said it. Right now, I’m convenient. I’m here. But there’s a big difference between geography and a real connection.”
