Page 53 of The Poison of the Earth
I was two days old when my father brought me tohisCaptain, his dear friend, who’s wife had recently had a babe. My father had begged them to keep me alive. Mia had agreed easily. She, Lonan’s mother, and his father, had adopted both my father and I. We lived, grew and became who we are together.
Until that awful day that Lonan and I lost everything except each other.
I shake my head.I would betray my best friend? My lover? My brother? My heart mate?
But inside me, something gallops about, trying desperately to break free.
Iknew.I knew the moment her little hand was in mine, the touch of our flesh sent it dancing inside me, when Caspian first dropped her here. When I had seen her in the cells the first time. When she was a nobody, a dirty, lost maid.Fuck. I’d prefer it that way. Then, I could let Lonan fuck her and wait for him to tire of her and after I could claim her.
My spirit mate. It was her.
Every inch of my being ached for her. But I had to not let Lonan know. First because she might have truly been a spy, andlater, when it became apparent that Lonan was interested in her. And yet, I oriented myself to her presence in the room. I know she is mine. Know she’d fit perfectly. There had simply been aher-shaped hole in my life and I didn’t know it until I touched her. And unexpectedly, it had jolted through me, how much I was missing. All I want is to take her to my rooms and take care of every inch of her. To speak to her, while she lays upon my chest and I play with her hair. To learn of each other. For I know little of her, thetrueher. But I must hide it, no matter how much my soul is tormented
When I heard her yell, I had run to her rooms, only to find her having the life choked out of her by the Ordained. My magic had exploded. No harm is allowed to come to my mate. The fact that I had managed to bring her to Lonan’s bed, not mine, was miraculous.
I had been excited to train her, to give us more time together, even though every moment I was near her but not touching her burned my soul. And as I had teased her while we trained, I had not meant to hurt or insult her. I... am not good with women. I had interacted with her the way I do with Lonan. That wasobviouslywrong. Mayhap because she’s a woman, mayhap because we don’t know each other well yet. I’ve been with no one, pursued no one, but Lonan. I snort. That wasn’t even a pursuit, that had been as easy and natural as breathing.And that’s what this should be too,my heart insists.
But Oleander. Holy fuck, had I hurt her with those thoughtless words. Hurt her enough that she bared her soul to me.In order to get me to shut the fuck up. I had watched her, my mate, run away from me with pain and regret filling me.Stones, I am an idiot.I had grabbed her little black shoes and left them by her door, ashamed to even attempt an apology.
My levels of need are reaching absolutely insane levels, and Oleander, while I suspect she has bedroom skills, will not besubmitting to me anytime soon, I believe. Watching Lonan pleasure her had been the most twisted, painful pleasurable ache of my entire life. I had wanted to touch her. To pull her into my lap, spread her over me for Lo and grind myself against her while I played with her breasts.
I wanted to lay Oleander open across my bed and feast upon her, watch her body contort in pleasure, until the only God she prayed to was me. And then, I’d take her, gently, making us one, as close together as we could be. I’d feel the only woman I’d ever touch; to experience her tense and grip my cock as I delivered as much pleasure as I could. It was what the universe demanded.My utter devotion to her, my princess, my Goddess.And I would give it.
Or. I would have. If Lonan would have ever tired of her. But. She’s in line for the throne. The throne we’ve sworn to overthrow.Lonan will never let go of her. I snort; he’s the most obstinate creature I’ve ever met. Perhaps besides Oleander.
That thought hurts so badly I curl up in my bed.I will lose them both.
My shoulders shake as I bury my face into a pillow, letting the misery overcome me.
THE SUN AWAKENS MEthe next morning and I slip from my bed. I am as empty as a sail in the doldrums. I head outside, pausing a moment to watch the sun rise above the treetops. The sun has always had strong pull upon me, as a fire Fae.
I join the morning training of the keep’s guard. By the time we are done with warm up calisthenics, my mind is clearer. Several rounds of kicking their asses, two or three at a time, with a training sword, and I’m even more hollow than when I started, but pleasantly tired. I nod to them and head back to my roomsfor a quick shower. I have missed breakfast, which means Lo will be looking for me soon enough.
I put on my usual attire of leather breeches and a linen shirt with my comfortable boots. I add my blades and sheaths before leaving my rooms. I take a deep breath and cross to Oleander’s door. My knock is loud.
“One moment!” Her voice is muffled and my heart flutters nervously.
She tugs the door open, her hair done up in two buns again and wearing a simple black dress that accentuates her breasts. I stare at them a moment and swallow.
“Oleander. I would speak with you.”
She arches a white eyebrow, her orange-pink eyes annoyed, but she steps back. I trail her in, feeling like a lost puppy.What the fuck am I doing?
No. I need to speak with her. Get to know her.
“Princess,” I say softly, again pleased that I’m the only person who calls her that, “I wanted to apologize for my... abhorrent behavior.”
“Mmm,” she purses her lips, “You’re going to have to be more specific.”
She’s spicy. It’s as attractive coming from her as it is from Lonan.Mayhaps more so.
Lonan and I are heart mates. It’s a different bond than a spirit mate; a chosen bond. Still sealed in blood, still considered sacred, but not the same. We bonded nearly forty-five years ago, but had been together since we were young men. I’ve never been with another.
But now, now I know that Oleander is my spirit mate. I would not lose Lonan, but I cannot ignore this bond.
I let a chuckle at her response slip out and she looks surprised.
“I meant while we were training. I... was so far out of line.” I shake my head, truly remorseful. “I apologize, Princess. I’m sorry. I promise you I will not act as such again.”
