Page 87 of The Gambler's Prize
“Florian,” she says.
Her accent. I’d forgotten how strong it is, how she says my name like no one else. She lifts a hand to touch my face. Stops herself, looking doubtfully at me.
“Go on,” I say, in Callinthen. I’ve barely spoken the language in years but it’s still there, unlocked.
She touches my cheek. My tears spill freely. Always stronger than me, she screws up her eyes tight to stop her own tears from falling, and brushes the moisture from my cheeks.
“Florian, I never wanted to leave you,” she says. “He made me, I had no choice…” Her voice rises higher and Grimes frowns. He doesn’t understand what she’s saying, afraid she’s upsetting me. I tell him with one look that I’m okay. I need to hear this.
“Go on,” I whisper. “What happened?”
“Your father.” She spits the words. Her beautiful mouth twists into an angry scowl. “Someone found out I’m Callinthen. One of your father’s business rivals. The war was still raging then. They were going to leak the scandal. Being married to an enemy…it would’ve ruined him. Everyone thought I was Vennan. He couldn’t face the truth coming out. He said… he said he’d enlist you in the army if I didn’t leave.”
I thought I couldn’t hate my father any more. I was wrong.
“I understand,” I say in a monotone.
“Florian, I’m so sorry. He wouldn’t let me say goodbye or explain. He said if I tried to get in touch, you would suffer.”
Her pleading gaze chills me. Does she think I don’t believe her? Of course I do. All of that is straight out of my father’s playbook. He was always so angry at his own weakness for falling for the enemy, and he turned all of that anger on my mother and me. Told uswewere the weak ones. His final punishment for my mother for “seducing” him was to banish her and forbid her from even explaining, so that I would think she wanted to leave me. So that I would think she didn’t care.
I wish he was here right now. I wish Grimes fist was heading straight for his ugly face.
I take a breath, let it out.
“Mama, I believe you,” I say. “It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t,” she says. “It isn’t okay. I left you with him, knowing what he was like.”
“You had no choice.”
Joining the army was no bloodless threat. Untrained, untested young officers died in their dozens on distant battlefields, sent into command based solely on aristocratic birth. It didn’t matter if you’d never even held a pistol before in anger. I might have been dead years ago if my mother hadn’t left me. By age sixteen I could’ve been out there on the battlefield, fighting as an ensign. As a Callinthen, my mother wouldn’t have had the power to prevent it. If my father had reported her, she would’ve been lucky to avoid being arrested as a spy.
“Mama, I’m all right,” I say. “I’m… I’m doing fine. Grimes is looking after me now.”
Grimes squeezes my arm and smiles at hearing his name. My mother is crying now too, unable to hold it back. She sniffs and blows her nose on a lace tissue. For the first time I notice her clothes. Rich, Callinthen in fashion. She must have had a decent life, practically speaking. But there’s cracked sadness in her eyes.
She turns to Grimes. “I’m sorry, I’m being so rude.” She attempts to smile at him. “Who’s this?”
Grimes smiles back. His real smile, the one from deep inside that shows the world all of his warmth.
“This is Grimes,” I say in Rhennian. “My partner.”
“It’s so good to meet you.” My mother’s Rhennian is perfect after her years in the city. She holds out a hand, and Grimes takes it in his huge one.
Mama looks at me again. She can’t keep her eyes off me for more than a moment.
“You look so handsome and healthy, Florian,” she says. “And happy.”
“The last one is thanks to him.” I pat Grimes’ arm, and he looks deathly embarrassed. “He’s the one who tracked you down. Mama, do you remember the rope swing in the garden?”
Her face lights up. “I go there in my mind all the time.”
“So do I.”
I can’t talk anymore. I’m overcome. I put one arm around Grimes and one around my mother. But now I can’t wipe the tears that are still flowing. Grimes takes a tissue and tenderly soaks up my tears. His rough lips are on my hair, and my mother is on my other side, and I finally feel complete.
Chapter 35
