Page 107 of Single Dad Dilemma
Chapter Twenty-Five
Barrett
The expectation for me to run, to balk at her question and close the drawbridge, was right there in her eyes. I wished the light was brighter, that the sun was out and I could see every single variation of blue when she stared at me like that.
I fucking dare you.
Her voice was in my head, whispering it to the part of me that didn’t want to talk about Rachel right now. Didn’t want anyone else to intrude upon this opportunity with the wild, wily creature sitting in front of me.
But instead of meeting her expectations, instead of avoiding her thrown gauntlet and watching the challenging glint in her eyes fade, I took a deep breath, picked up my plate, and moved to the other side of the island, choosing the stool next to hers and turning it so that I’d be facing her.
Wariness creased her eyebrows as she watched me, but she angled toward me as I took a seat and kept my legs spread.
Lily chewed on her bottom lip, watching me get settled, eyes drifting to where the inside of my leg almost brushed against hers where it was dangling down. The other was still bent against her chest, and I didn’t think she’d drop it. Her armor, flimsy though it was.
“You want the long or the short version?”
Her teeth released her bottom lip, which turned it the prettiest pink color as she regarded me. As she weighed whether I was being honest or not.
“I get a choice?”
“Of course.”
Lily swallowed, then dropped the leg against her chest. Her knee rested on the inside of my thigh, and the contact made my blood sing.
“Tell me whatever version hurts the least,” is what she settled on.
That had me tilting my head because I couldn’t help but wonder if she knew how telling that was.
What’s hurting you?I wanted to ask.Let me help. Let me take it away.
It was a rare sensation, to want to dive headfirst into something like this, and instead of fighting it, like I might have even six months earlier, I let it fill me up.
“I think it’s good when our stories hurt to be told,” I answered evenly. “Doesn’t that mean they were real?”
“I’m sure most people would say that, yes.” Her fingers toyed with the edge of her plate, only half of her sandwich eaten. “Personally, I don’t like reliving the worst parts of my life.”
An urge gripped me, painful in its intensity, to reach forward and slide my hands along the sides of her face, brush my thumbs over her cheekbones, and tell her that she wasn’t alone tonight. That my shoulders were big enough to carry her pain if she wanted help, even for a little while.
Instead of doing that, I folded my hands and kept them in my lap. “Rachel and I dated in college. She approached me after a shared class and asked to be my study partner. It didn’t take long after that for her to let me know what she wanted. She was beautiful. Sharp. Smart. Incredibly driven.” I kept my eyes on Lily. “She was also selfish. Cold. Calculating.”
Her eyes flickered. “Did you know this prior to her taking your last name, or after?”
“After she came to me in tears and told me she was pregnant with Bryce. That her father found a pregnancy test and was going to disown her. I proposed on the spot.” Lily’s face softened, and I pulled in a deep breath. “Not long after that, she informed me she’d also been sleeping with my brother, Griffin. My brother wasn’t aware either. She was just ... hedging her bets, I guess.”
Lily’s mouth fell open. “Bryce ...”
“Is mine,” I finished. “Griffin was gone for a few months when he was conceived.” I smoothed my hands down the tops of my thighs. “After we got married and I got drafted, she told me I was the safer choice. The boring one, of course. Too cold for her. But I’d take better care of her than Griffin would.”
“Oh, Barrett,” she whispered, rubbing at her chest like it hurt. “And this is the same woman who chose not to fight for more time with her kids?”
I nodded. “If she’d tried, I would not have made it easy. The less time they spend with her, the better. I have a feeling in a couple years, she’ll let them decide if they want to come see her. And they won’t.”
“They don’t seem to miss her,” she said carefully.
“She didn’t really raise them.” I took a sip of water. “Nannies did. I helped when I could, when work allowed.” Then I shook my head. “I’m not perfect, though. We were incompatible from the start, and I did shut down on her when Maggie was young. Always put the kids and my job before her. I don’t blame her for hating me.”
The color was high in Lily’s cheeks. “She’s not going to randomly show up here in the next month, is she?”
