Page 108 of Single Dad Dilemma
“No. Why?”
“I might have to break her fucking nose,” she said calmly.
“That so?” I murmured, adoration wrapping around my heart like a vine. “Rachel’s pretty scary when she wants to be.”
“I am so scrappy in a fight. You have no idea.”
I leaned forward, bracing my forearm on the counter, my fingers a hairbreadth away from her arm. The space between us disappeared,and Lily sucked in a breath at my nearness. “Tell me why you’d want to do that.”
Her eyes locked on my mouth. “Is that one of your questions?”
“If that makes you feel better, sure.”
“Your kids are incredible and I think I hate her a little bit.” Lily inhaled sharply through her nose and lifted her gaze to mine. The sincerity I saw there made it hard to breathe. “And you’re not boring. You’re a really good man, Barrett.”
My heart hammered against my rib cage, each messy thrash forward testing the limits of what those bones could endure.
“You’re patient and loyal and thoughtful, and a woman like that doesn’t deserve to have a man like you.”
When I was capable of speech, my voice came out ragged, every fiber of my restraint fraying at the edges. “If you’re trying to test my control right now, you’re doing a very good job of it.”
Lily’s exhale was shaky, and when she raised her hand, fingers trembling, I stayed perfectly still. The tips of her fingers landed on the side of my jaw, a tentative, testing brush along my unshaven skin. “I’m not,” she whispered, and her eyes followed the motion of her fingers until they briefly touched the bottom edge of my lip. “I just ... felt like touching you. It’s probably been a long time, hasn’t it?”
“Yes.” My voice was hardly recognizable, coming out as a coarse whisper.
I didn’t realize how much I’d missed affection like this. Had I ever experienced it with Rachel? I wasn’t sure I had. It was entirely foreign, entirely wonderful because of how unrecognizable it was. For years, I’d ignored the absence out of necessity. There hadn’t been time to think about what a gaping hole it left inside me. That I wasn’t just a father, I wasn’t just a coach. I was a man, and knowing a woman like this wanted me sent heat spinning through me so fast that it was fruitless to try to extinguish the flames.
Discipline and control warred mightily with my baser urges. In less than a minute, I could have her on the counter. Could have her pantingand moaning in less than five. Lily, naked and at my mercy, sweet and supple in my arms, would fill every empty space I’d felt over the last few years. The last decade, if I was being honest.
If I let myself have it. Tearing through the cracks of the absolute fucking high of her hands on my skin was that whisper of caution. Not because I didn’t want it, or because she didn’t either.
The strength of my desire was what let it slip through.
This wasimportant. What we were doing was important. The things I was allowing myself to share mattered. Especially to Lily, who, by her own admission, was always alone. I didn’t want her to feel like that anymore. I wanted her to feel seen. Like someone, somewhere, cared about what she had to say and cared about the things she kept locked tight in her head.
“What’s your favorite movie?” I asked raggedly, keen to touch her, the urge so strong that it sliced a path straight through my better judgment.
Lily exhaled a quiet laugh, which snagged in her throat when I gently clasped her wrist and brought her palm to my mouth.
“I—I can’t think,” she said unsteadily.
I kissed the skin just above her wrist, and her fingers curled in, brushing against my cheek. I dragged my nose over the center of her palm. She smelled so good. The thought that she’d smell like this everywhere—clean and sweet—had my mouth watering.
“I can stop,” I rasped.
“M-Mary Poppins,” she finally answered.
My eyes opened, my mouth hovering over her skin as I looked at her in surprise. “Really?”
Lily nodded, her gaze still slightly unfocused as she watched me. “Gives zero fucks about what anyone thinks. Lives life on her own terms. You can tell she’s been through some shit, but she’s got a spine of steel. Kids love her. Men don’t know what to do with her. She’s my fucking idol.”
I couldn’t help it—I laughed. I laughed deep and loud, and, keeping my fingers wrapped around her wrist, I laid our joined hands against my chest, just above the place where my heart beat hard and fast.
Lily smoothed her hand out, pressing against that spot, and when my laughter faded, she inched forward, her eyes locked on my smile.
Her hands slid up my chest, and my smile slowly faded. She looked drugged as she got off her chair and stood between my spread legs. Something slipped through my veins, too, a euphoric buzzing that turned my head around.
“That’s not fair,” she whispered.
