Page 93 of Single Dad Dilemma
“You do.” He stretched his back and groaned, settling back in my desk chair like he owned it. “I recognize these signs from when I wasfirst dating Ruby. She didn’t know we were dating yet, but it didn’t take long for my presence to overwhelm her.”
“Yeah, I can imagine you do that on a daily basis. I didn’t miss it.”
“Yes, you did.” He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. “Having a crush isn’t emasculating. You can adore the shit out of her. Think she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Desperately want to hold her hand because it’s the prettiest hand you’ve ever seen. Want to have serious, grouchy little babies with her, and also want to fuck her brains out because she’s hot and pisses you off.”
I closed my eyes. “Stop talking. I can’t do this.”
Griffin let out an easy laugh. “As usual, brother, you are overthinking everything. You don’t have to ask her to give up a life she loves. But you can still show her all those things you told me. It’s not either-or.”
“Isn’t it?” I asked seriously. “I don’t ... I don’t do casual. I’m not wired that way. It’s okay if you are”—I paused when he gave me a stern look, and held up my hands in concession—“or used to be, before Ruby. And I don’t know how Lily is wired. But if I know someone doesn’t want to put down roots, how do I start anything knowing there’s an hourglass over our heads and half the fucking sand is already gone?”
“You have time,” he said, uncharacteristically serious. “Until the moment she leaves and says she’s never coming back, you have time.”
“I don’t know how to do this. I feel like I’m going to screw it up,” I admitted. My voice came out a little tight, a little strangled, some invisible hand trying to cinch my throat shut so that words wouldn’t escape.
Griffin’s eyebrows rose incrementally. “How’d that feel coming out?”
“Awful.”
I’d never said that before. Never even felt it. Even when my career had collapsed around me, I felt so certain about what to do next. That certainty had been one of my guideposts.
And it was possible, looking back, that I’d fooled myself into thinking that being certain about something always meant it was right. One of the greatest examples of that was sitting in front of me.
I held my brother’s gaze. “I shouldn’t have tried to take care of you the way I did. Or tried to tell you what to do. And I’m sorry for that.”
Griffin didn’t ask me how the apology felt coming out. My answer would’ve been different from the last time he’d asked. Because it felt an awful lot like relief, like I’d been choking on some invisible knot that finally unraveled until it disappeared.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I forgive you.” Then he sucked in a breath. “And I’m sorry for not listening when you were giving me good advice. And ... telling the press that you’re boring and ... all that other shit I said.”
I smile wryly. “Forgiven. Iamboring, so it wasn’t all that offensive.”
“Listen,” he said, tilting his head toward her house, “you were there for her today, right? That shit matters. Show up. Don’t tiptoe around the way youshouldact. That’s your problem, Barrett. You proposed to Rachel because you thought you should, not because you loved her. You stayed married to her even though she was a miserable snake, because you thought you should.
“There’s no list of rules in starting any relationship, because everyone’s different. You like her? Then act like it. Do nice shit for her because it makes her smile. And if she doesn’t like it, I bet she’ll tell you. If you two have been sniping at each other since the beginning, don’t fucking stop. Ruby loves it when I piss her off.”
“Does she really?”
“You want to try saying that to my face, Griffin King?” Ruby called from the kitchen.
My brother laughed. So did I. And it felt good.
“When did you get so smart?” I asked him after a beat of silence.
He leaned back in my chair, folding his hands behind his head and smiling smugly. “Probably right around the time you stopped being such a stubborn asshole.”
I smiled, shaking my head. “That may be. But I didn’t cheat at Scrabble.”
“I will prove it if it’s the last thing I do,” he said.
He tried to grab my laptop again.
I kicked him in the shin.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lily
Everyone at the grocery store seemed very chill, considering the apocalypse was descending upon us.
