Page 44 of Walk on the Wilde Side
She tightens her arms and clears her throat. She caught me surveying her body. "Thank you again for coming to my rescue earlier," she says quietly. "I overreacted, and I'm may never live down the humiliation."
"Nev, I'm glad you called, and you weren't overreacting. That loud car—do you think it might be the same person?" I'm not asking to frighten her. It seems like a logical question after what happened at the shop.
Her bottom lip drops in shock. It's the same plump, bitable lip I kissed just hours ago. I'm the one who needs to feel humiliation. I blew it. I'm always so fucking solid when it comes to Nev, but for those few minutes in the shop that hard exterior broke. It's tough to put it back together. That kiss left me confused, embarrassed and wanting way fucking more.
"I hadn't thought of that," she says. The corn in the microwave is starting its pops and bangs. She shakes her head. "Nope, I'm not going down that rabbit hole, and thanks so much for lighting that spark." She says it sharply, but I know she's mostly teasing.
"Just thinking like a Wilde. Dad always taught us to never trust a fucking soul. It's a great way to be brought up."
Nev laughs. "That man really should write a parenting book, only he can title it All the Things Not to Do." She covers her mouth and giggles. The wine is definitely making its way through her bloodstream. "Don't tell him I said that. Actually, fuck it, tell him. He needs to know. I think now that he's old and not in great health, he's somehow trying to make amends to erase all the shit he did. He needs to know you can't get that stink off no matter how much soap and water you use." She pauses and her eyes open wider. "My god, I'm a blathering idiot tonight. I really can't drink."
"Uh, don't think it's time to head to an AA meeting just yet. You had a scare earlier, and you deserved a little wine."
Suddenly we're both quiet, standing just three feet apart and gazing at each other like two people who know each other's darkest secrets. And in a way, it's true, though I have far more dark secrets than Nev.
"Nev, about the kiss?—"
Nev gasps. "The kernels have slowed down!" She lunges for the microwave and smacks the power button. The oven goes dark. A few more kernels are giving it their last effort as she reaches in for the bag. "Ouch, shit!" She drops the bag onto the counter and shakes her hand. Hot steam is seeping from the top edge.
Instinctively, I take hold of her wrist and walk her to the sink to run cold water over her red fingers. "Who knew popcorn popping was so treacherous," she says with a laugh. "It's fine now, and it's official. I'm a drama queen."
I'm still holding her wrist when she turns off the water. I can smell her light, citrusy shampoo and something else, a lotion, maybe, and it's waking up every inch of me. I don't release her wrist, and she doesn't pull it out of my grasp.
"About that kiss," I say again.
Nev turns to me. She pulls her hand free, and for a brief moment, I can feel my heart split in two. She hops on her toes, wraps her arms around my neck and presses her mouth against mine. I hold back for all of a second, then wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. My cock is already thick and throbbing. It's been like that since she reached up for the popcorn.
Her soft groan vibrates against my mouth as my hand smooths down over her perfectly round ass. I pull her hips closer. She keeps hold of my neck as she jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist. My hands wrap around her ass, and I carry her out to the couch. I lower her down. She rests back against the arm, and I lean down over her. She takes my face in her hands and kisses me again. I squeeze down next to her, me on my side and her on her back with her head resting on my arm. I want nothing more than to strip her naked and fuck her, but it's far more complicated than that. It's Nev. The girl who sat on this very same couch holding a pack of ice against my eye after I got in a bad fight in 8th grade. The girl who showed me how to do math homework in high school. The girl who always made sure I had food and a warm place to stay when my dad was being an asshole. Her grandmother was always there to invite me in and offer help, but it was Nev who looked out for me in the world. It was Nev who would find me in trouble or pain and take me home. I always knew Nev was there to keep me from spiraling out of control.
I smooth my hand over her tits, and she arches her back to press against my hand. I push my hand under her short shirt. She's not wearing a bra, and I groan inwardly as my bare fingers reach her hardened nipples. I tug gently at each one bringing them into taut buds. Nev closes her eyes as I explore her body, a body I've craved for years but kept my hands off. I'm finding it hard to believe it's real, that she's stretched out next to me, wanting to be touched.
I smooth my hand down her flat belly, and she sucks in a soft breath as my hand dips below the waist on her pants. Her thighs fall open, inviting me to explore further. My hand moves down to her pussy, and I groan again, longer and louder as my finger reaches the pool of liquid heat between her legs. Nev's breaths come in short spurts as I massage her clit. She opens her legs farther. "Zander," she sighs, "please."
I push my finger, first one, then two, into her all the while keeping pressure on her clit with the base of my thumb. She pushes against the pressure of my hand and clamps her legs right around my hand. Her hips move in rhythm with my fingers. She grabs my arm to hold me in place, but I have no intention of taking my hand away.
"Oh, Zander," she says on a breathy whisper. Her thighs tighten against my arm, and her pussy clenches around my hand. Her body shudders in soft, sputtering waves as she comes around my fingers. Her breathing slows, and I pull my hand from between her legs. My cock is aching to be inside of her, but it's not happening. I need to climb back into my solid Nevvie shell, the one that reminds me that she's not for me. She deserves so much fucking better.
Nev turns so she's facing me. I close my eyes and release a long-held breath as she nestles against me. Her face is pressed against my chest. I wrap my arms around her. Maybe she's not for me, but I'll protect her and keep her safe and make sure she's happy no matter what happens.
Nev wriggles closer, and I hold her tighter until she's breathing softly, rhythmically. She's fallen asleep in my arms. As far as I'm concerned, I can die tomorrow, and I'll still be wearing the same fucking smile.
twenty
Nev
My phone alarm is ringing from somewhere in the house. I open my eyes into the brightness. It's the light from the kitchen. I never turned it off. The aroma of popcorn hits me along with a faint scent, a scent I know too well. It's the smell of Zander's soap. I'd know it anywhere.
I sit up groggily and rest back on the couch cushion. Nana's hand-sewn quilt has somehow moved from my bed to the couch. I pull it up to my chin to block out the cold in the room. The open wine bottle and drained glass are sitting on the coffee table where I left them.
I stand up from the couch and instantly feel where his hand had been. Zander and I had crossed a line that I didn't think would ever be crossed. I started it. I kissed him. I jumped into his arms and invited him to carry me to the couch. And from there it was all him, but I encouraged it, but we really only went as far as two awkward teens might go. Was it second base? I never knew the parameters of that stupid rating system. But it was incredible and something told me I'd spend the day in a heated blush just thinking about it. I apparently fell asleep right after, selfishly offering no reciprocation. Would it have happened if I stayed awake? Would we have slept together? Something tells me it wouldn't have been as easy and simple as that.
I pick up the wine bottle and hold it up to scowl at it. "All your fault. You should have cut me off after one glass. You know I'm a lightweight." The wine bottle has no reply. Its clear liquid contents slosh back and forth as I carry it back to the refrigerator where it will probably remain untouched until I have another one of my strange days. It started with the stranger outside the shop and then morphed into something even weirder with an unexpected kiss from Zander. His brisk, stuttering apology for kissing me hurt my feelings, and I acted coolly, dismissively afterward. But when I saw him again at my door, I was just glad he wasn't angry. I was so relieved, apparently, I opened my thighs for him. Yep, it was the weird day and the fucking wine.
My phone is still prattling on from somewhere in the room. I follow the sound to the kitchen where my phone is sitting next to the uneaten bag of popcorn. I pick up the popcorn, and the moment when Zander held my hand under the water returns. It was such a simple gesture, yet it felt so intimate I ended up kissing him.
I give the greasy bag a shake, and more popcorn aroma fills the air. "You're just as much to blame as the wine," I say and drop the cold popcorn into the trash.
I silence the phone alarm. I'll be late for work, but if I hurry, it won't be too bad. Besides that, I'm the boss, I remind myself. Kinsley's door is shut. I was out cold last night and didn't hear her come in. I quietly open her door just to make sure she did get in. She's an adult, but I still can't let go of my big sister duties of checking in on her.
