Page 29 of Walk on the Wilde Side
"I should probably stay out here and make sure the cowboy doesn't get thrown from the horse," she says.
"Good idea." Dad winks at her and whispers something in her ear. She giggles and even blushes.
Dad walks away with his sandwich. "What'd he say?" I ask.
"That's between us."
I lope Doc a few times both ways around the pen. "Shake that branch the next time I come round," I tell Nev.
She stoops down to pick it up, and Doc's ears are turning back and forth like the beacon on a lighthouse. He knows something is up. "Never mind. He's already anticipating trouble. I need to take him out on a trail ride where things like birds taking off or shrubs rattling their branches can happen naturally. Are you interested in a quick trail ride? I can put a saddle on Doobie. He's very mellow on the trail."
Nev looks down at her jeans and sneakers. "I guess I'm sort of dressed for it." She looks at me. "Certain topics are off-limits."
"You mean like that creep you're dating?" I can't stop myself from being an idiot.
She pulls her hands from the top bar of the pipe corral. "Never mind. Try not to get dumped out there in the wilderness."
"Stop, Nevvie. Sorry. I won't say a word about—" I'm about to blow it again but stop myself. Amazingly. "I won't say a word about him. C'mon, it'll be fun. You haven't come to ride in a long time. In fact, you haven't come to the ranch in forever."
"Uh, you might have noticed that I'm running a business. It takes a lot of my time."
I hop down from Doc's back, and he releases a snort that seems to say "good riddance." I lead him out of the pen, and we walk over to where Nev is standing. "Well, what do ya say about a ride? We won't go far. Just to the pond and back." Now that I've landed on the idea of taking a ride with Nev, I'm going to be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
"I guess I could go on a short ride."
"Great. Follow us back to the barn, and we'll get Doobie out."
I tie Doc up and lead Doobie out of his stall. The dapple-gray gelding is a quarter horse crossed with a draft horse. He even has some feathering on his legs. Nev approaches his nose to talk to the horse and let him know how gorgeous he is, and I get him saddled.
Nev walks down the line of stalls and greets the other horses and returns. "You're right. I haven't been here in a long time. I forgot how therapeutic it is to stand in the warm, smelly barn with all of their soft snorts and gentle noises."
I nod as I tighten the cinch of the saddle. "I think this barn is the thing that got me through my teens. It kept me from going off a ledge. Whenever I was angry or in trouble, which seemed to be all the fucking time, I came out here and groomed the horses, mucked the stalls and just hung out. I can't tell you how often I fell asleep up in the hayloft. Stayed all night too. Even alone," I add cockily.
Nev puts her fingers in her ears. "Don't want to know about the sordid sexual adventures of Zander Wilde. I've heard that infamous hayloft mentioned in far more conversations with friends than I liked."
"You exaggerate," I say with a chuckle.
"Nope. If anything, I'm understating it."
"Yeah, all right. There, that's the second topic that's off-limits. My sordid sexual adventures. And how is it you manage to make casual sex sound like a novel?"
Nev shrugs. Her hair is tied up in a ponytail, and the shoulder movement lifts the collar of her shirt up and down. There's a red mark on the side of her long, smooth neck.
"Fuck, that asshole still gives hickeys?" I ask, sharply. "Is he living in the twentieth century?"
At first Nev reaches for the red spot on her neck, then she drops her hand. "You know what, Doobie, you got dressed up for nothing." She turns to leave.
I'm always a pro at acting and speaking impulsively. I reach out and take hold of her hand. "No, don't go. I take it back. None of my business."
She turns around and stares down at my hold on her hand, then we both let go as if our palms are burning. "You're right. It's none of your business, Zander. Do you know how many times I had to listen to tales of the great Zander Wilde and his incredible skills?" She lifts air quotes and then laughs. "Shit, I'm in the twentieth century, too. Really. What I do in my personal life—it's none of your damn business."
"I know. I forget. It's just—we've known each other for so long, and you—well, you know a lot about me and the shit I went through cuz sometimes the only people I had in this whole fucking world were El Honey … and you, Nev. You were always there, too."
Nev's hazel eyes have sprinkles of gold. I know what kind of light makes them look green, bright sun. I know they look golden brown in shade, like under the roof of the barn. They turn a dark forest green when she's sad. The day of her grandmother's funeral, they were mossy green and so dark I couldn't see the pupils. And when she's laughing or having fun, they turn pale and golden.
It's never easy for me to open up or share my feelings unless I'm with Nev. She's always been a great listener. She says nothing about what I said, proving my point. I know she listened to every word, and I know she absorbed my meaning. There's nothing more to say.
"Let's ride and no bucking bronco shit out on the trail," she says.
