Page 126 of Bellini Bound
“Enzo . . .” He reached for me, but I stepped back so suddenly that he caught nothing but air.
“I can’t do this right now,” I muttered, shoving past him.
Then my feet were moving as I practically ran down the hallway. My heartbeat thundered in my ears so loud that I barely heard my cousin calling out from behind me.
The door to the men’s room banged against the wall as I pushed inside, and I took out my frustration on the first hard surface I came in contact with, which happened to be the thin metal partition of a toilet stall.Ramming my fist into it several times, I welcomed the sharp burst of pain with each blow, chasing more. I could break my hand in this self-destructive pursuit, and it still wouldn’t even come close to the amount of agony my wife would be forced to endure as a result of my inability to protect her in our own home from her own goddamn father!
Each punch acted as the exclamation point on every question I internally screamed at the universe.
Why was life so fucking unfair?Slam!Why was I given the short end of the stick time and time again?Slam!Why should Allie be forced to pay the price for attaching her life to mine?Slam! Slam! Slam!
Regardless of the fact that a large portion of my fortune was donated to the Catholic Church annually, it didn’t make sense how anyone could believe in a God that would allow this to happen to someone as sweet and kind and selfless as Allie. Me, sure; I’d committed my fair share of sins. But my wife was innocent; she didn’t deserve to suffer this kind of brutal punishment for my crimes.
Without warning, I was bear-hugged from behind. Instinct had me struggling against the hold, but the arms only tightened around me until, eventually, I gave up the fight.
Matteo was the only person brave enough to lay hands on me when I was this agitated, so I knew it was him at my back.
Chest heaving, I asked, “Is it stupid to be this upset over something I didn’t know existed until it was already gone?”
“Hey.” Matteo dropped his arms, moving to stand before me. “As a father, you have every right to mourn that piece of you and her that you’ll never get to hold in your arms.”
I scoffed. “I’m not a father.”
My cousin’s eyes softened. “Just because that baby never made it earthside, doesn’t mean you won’t always be a father”—he placed his palm over my racing heart—“in here.”
“Why am I so wrecked when I never wanted this in the first place?”
“Because you love Allie,” he replied. “And you made something with that love, whether you meant to or not, so it only makes sense that you’d be suffering the agony of a broken heart over the loss.”
My eyes slammed shut at the truth of his words, a fresh wave of pain crashing over me.
Voice thick, I addressed the catalyst for my bathroom breakdown. “I know I should be congratulating you and Summer, but I just . . .”
Matteo nodded. “I know, and it’s okay. The timing is shit.”
His acknowledgment of that made what I had to say next slightly easier. “I can’t have Summer around, man. The wound is too fresh.”
“I understand. And she will too.” He stepped toward the door. “We’ll leave, but keep me updated on Allie’s condition, and let me know if there’s anything either of you needs.”
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “I will.”
My cousin slipped out of the restroom, and I gave him a few minutes’ head start to clear out of Allie’s room before returning there myself.
As I took up residence on the chair at her bedside once more, the thick fog of guilt and grief surrounded me, making it hard to breathe.
While I was desperate for her to wake up, I dreaded the moment when I was forced to explain the drastic measures taken to save her life and what it had cost us.
How could she ever forgive me for this?
At the sound of a moan, my head lifted from the edge of the mattress.
“Allie?”
Her black lashes fluttered against her soft cheeks before lifting the tiniest fraction, and I nearly wept in relief.
Rising to my feet, I gently cupped her face. “Hey there, beautiful.”
Green eyes scanned the room, taking in her surroundings, and I saw the exact moment she realized where she was and remembered what had happened. Her tongue darted out to swipe over her cracked, dry lips, and she winced, letting out a whimper, like even that tiny motion caused her extreme pain.
