Page 132 of Bellini Bound
I dropped my forehead to hers. “I haven’t been there for you the way I should have been.” Shame colored my words.
Allie let out a shaky exhale. “I’m not sure I was ready to let you if you’d tried. But I am now, if you’re offering a shoulder to lean on.”
Pressing my lips to hers, I said, “You can have them both.”
Against my mouth, I felt her smile for the first time since that fateful night. “With both of those giant boulders at my disposal, there’s no way we don’t find a way to navigate our new reality.”
Lifting her head, Allie took my hand in hers, placing them together over the stone plaque in Angel’s memory. “Mommy and Daddy love you, sweet baby. We hate that you’re not here with us, and we miss you so much.” Her breathing hitched, but she pushed through the rising tide of emotions to continue. “But you arealwaysin our hearts.”
I’d thought the ability to cry had been beaten out of me decades ago, but I was wrong, because twin tears spilled over my lashes at Allie’s words. Her strength blew me away, and right then and there, I silently vowed to do whatever was within my power to help her heal from this loss.
We might not ever get a second chance at parenthood, but at least we had each other.
And I would spend every day for the rest of my life working my ass off to be the partner my wife had always deserved.
Epilogue
Allie
Two Years Later
“Yourboysarebeautiful,Gemma. I’m sorry it’s taken us so long to come down and see them.”
Though I spoke to his mother, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from seven-month-old Carter sitting in my lap, while his older brother, Chase, ran around the room.
Gemma sighed dramatically, even as a smile tugged on the corners of her lips. “Thank you, but they’re a handful.”
I hoped she knew how truly blessed she was to have two healthy children because I would have given just about anything to be in her shoes. The ache from losing Angel was still ever-present, but I’d learned how to cope, how to carry on, without it derailing my entire life like it had in those early days.
Chase stopped before Enzo, holding up his tiny fist and crying excitedly, “Goo bum! Goo bum!”
Enzo was at a loss, his wide eyes darting toward his sister. “I don’t know what he wants.”
Sasha chuckled, crawling toward his two-year-old son. “Why don’t we show Uncle Enzo how it works, buddy?” My sister-in-law’s husband curled his giant hand into a fist, and immediately, Chase rammed his knuckles against his daddy’s.
“Yay! Goo bum!” Chase clapped his hands and laughed.
“It’s our take on a fist bump,” Sasha explained. “You know, since we’re gooses?”
“Ah.” Enzo inclined his head, but the look he shot me said,This guy is crazy.
A snort threatened to break free, and it took all my effort to swallow it back down. Gemma’s husband was . . . eccentric, but I’d come to learn it was part of his charm.
“Can I get a goose bump, Chase?” I held out my closed fist, and the little boy eagerly ran over to grant my request.
His sweet giggles rang out, soothing over the cracks in my fractured soul, and I realized that by hiding away from the children in our lives—viewing them as a reminder of what we’d lost—we were missing out on the healing that only their youthful innocence had the power to provide. Maybe the answer wasn’t spending less time with our nieces and nephews; it was seeking out more.
“Babe, I know we said we’d wait until after dinner, but I can’t wait! Tell them now!” Sasha’s enthusiastic remark caught my attention.
Gemma rolled her eyes at her husband. “You’ll have to forgive this one.” She hitched a thumb in Sasha’s direction. “He’s the worst at keeping secrets.”
There was only one secret that Sasha would be bursting to share, so I ventured a guess. “Are you guys expecting again?”
“No.” Enzo’s sister shook her head violently just as her husband said, “But would you like to be?”
My heart stopped. These two knew our history, knew that wasn’t possible, so was this some kind of sick joke?
Gemma must’ve caught the stricken look on my face because she shot her husband a glare, uttering through gritted teeth, “Add lack of finesse to that list of things Sasha needs forgiveness for.”
