“No.” He shook his head. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
His eyes slammed shut, and he whispered, “I got into bed with some bad people.”
“Bad people,” I repeated. “Like the kind of bad people you usually put away for life?”
“Worse, Allie. The kind that are impossible to put away.”
The gravity of the situation sank in, and I stood so suddenly that my chair clattered to the ground. “The mafia? You’re a dirty cop?”
Dad hung his head in shame. “Yes.”
Oh my God.
The illusion of my father being one of the good guys was shattered in an instant. All this time, he’d been in the pocket of mobsters, turning a blind eye to their illegal activities when he’d sworn an oath to uphold the law?
“Why?” I needed to know why he’d been willing to risk his career by getting into bed with criminals.
Guilt was written across his features. “I got in over my head with some sports betting, and they offered me a line of credit. But it came with a catch. So long as I was indebted to them, they owned me.” He fixed me with a sad stare. “I turned them down initially. I swear I did. I tried so hard to quit gambling, but like so many others with addictions, I just couldn’t stop. So I took their money and kept digging the hole deeper for myself as the years went on.
“Having me in their pocket made them practically untouchable. Whenever one of them was hauled in wearing handcuffs, I worked behind the scenes to make sure the charges didn’t stick.
“Knowing I was a total fraud made me physically ill. The stress of betraying my brothers in blue ate away at me to the point where I got ulcers. More than once, I thought about just ending it all, because there was comfort in knowing they couldn’t control me in death, and the force would be better off having someone with integrity fill my role.”
My mother continued to weep silently at his side, and I couldn’t keep my lower lip from wobbling at learning how close I’d been to losing my father.
“Dad.” I swallowed thickly. “We can figure this out. How much will it take to get you out from under their thumb?”
“It’s not about money anymore, honey.”
“It’s not?” I didn’t understand.
“Turns out that the only thing worse than getting into bed with the mafia is double-crossing the mafia.”
Jesus, did the man have any common sense?
My palm came up to cover my face, and I groaned. “Dad, why?”
“Because I was desperate, okay?” he shouted. Rising to his feet, he began to pace. “They offered to wipe the slate clean, clear my debts if I helped them wipe the people I owed off the board. I jumped at the chance to gain my freedom, but I should have known it only meant trading one master for another. And then everything went wrong.”
Heart beating out of my chest, I dared to ask, “What went wrong?”
Dad brought both hands to his silver hair and tugged on the short strands. “It was supposed to be easy. We put a tracker on the kingpin’s car and set up an ambush. Only when we attacked, he wasn’t inside. Instead, it was his brother’s pregnant wife.”
A gasp tore up my throat.
Please, God, tell me that my father hasn’t added murder to his list of sins.
My prayer went unanswered when Dad admitted, “She didn’t survive. Though they managed to save the baby.”
I scoffed. “I’ve heard enough.”
Turning on my heel, I made it all of two steps before he cried out to my back, “They found out, and now they’re going to kill me!”
I froze in my tracks and spun around slowly. “So that’s what this is? You saying goodbye?”
His gaze darted to Mom before he said, “They’re going to kill me, unless . . .”