Page 55 of When He Saved Me
“Where did you go just now? I asked what you think about this one?” He gestured to the button-down paired with a navy-blue sweater and dark-wash jeans.
“Oh, sorry. Just spaced out for a sec.” I squashed the guilt at the existential crisis I’d been distracted by and focused on him. “I like this one. Professional on the top says you’re taking it seriously, with jeans that say you’re not trying too hard.”
“That’s what I was thinking too. Now which shoes should I wear?”
I suppressed the eye roll, knowing it was because he cared so much, and reached for his hand. “Come here,” I said as I pulled him toward me.
“But I need to figure out my shoes, and I still need to pack my lunch and make sure my laptop is charged and—”
I pressed my lips to his, stopping the stream of consciousness he was about to embark on, until eventually, I felt him relax against me. He pulled back, resting his forehead against mine. “You’re going to be amazing tomorrow.”
“I’m just so nervous, and I don’t know what to do with all this restless energy.”
“I bet I can help you with that,” I raised my eyebrows suggestively.
“Mmm…I know you can.” He lowered his lips back down, but before they met mine, we heard a soft knock on the door.
“Come in,” Jamie called out as we put some space between us.
“Hey, sweet boy. I have something for you.” Annie walked into the room carrying a medium-sized gift bag.
“What’s this?” he asked, taking it from her. I moved over so she could sit next to me on the bed.
“Open it and find out.”
He dug into the bag, setting aside the tissue paper, and pulled forth a purple crewneck that said Swope Stags in bold white letters with an outline of a Stag mid-jump across the front. He looked up at her, his eyes bright. “When did you get this?”
“A couple of months ago. I called Jess in the front office and had her to set it aside for Cathy to pick up.”
“But I just found out about the assignment a couple of weeks ago.”
“I know.” She shrugged, her delicate shoulders rising in her now oversized sweater. “I had a feeling you’d be placed there, and I wanted you to have something to wear on Fridays.”
“Mom, this is so great. Thank you!” He leaned over and wrapped her in a hug, his large frame enveloping her petite body.
“I’m proud of you, kiddo,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest. “You’ve worked so hard for this.”
He pulled back, releasing her, and fidgeted with the crewneck. “I’m nervous. I don’t want to let you down.”
“Impossible. What makes you think you could ever do that?” she asked, her eyes wide and eyebrows climbing up her forehead.
He sat on the bed on the other side of her, and she turned to face him. This seemed like a private moment, and I felt a little like a third wheel, but I figured leaving the room would only draw more attention to myself, so I stayed, trying to be invisible.
“You were an icon at that school, Mom. Everyone loved you…they still love you…students, staff, parents…I just don’t know that I can ever live up to that.”
It was odd to see Jamie so vulnerable. From the moment I’d met him, he’d exuded that rare combination of confidence and kindness. He never seemed to question a decision he made. Instead just walked through life carefree, as if he had all the answers. He was a caretaker and a problem solver. It had never occurred to me that he might experience self-doubt.
“Oh, honey, I’ve pissed off plenty of people in my day. You’re never going to make everyone happy. And yeah, maybe people will have this idea that you’re going to be a junior edition of me at first, but, sweetheart, they’re also going to see how amazing you are in your own right. You are like me in many ways, but you have qualities of your father in you too. Things that will make you a better teacher than I was. You’ve always had a way with kids, and you’re passionate about teaching. Those things will shine through.”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you so much.” He pulled her into him again, smothering her in a huge hug. At length, she pulled away. “Now, I’m going to head to bed. I need to get some sleep before my appointment tomorrow.”
Jamie’s eyebrows pinched together in worry. “Are you sure you’re okay going without me?”
“Yes,” she said, her tone exasperated. They’d been over this a hundred times. I was taking her to her appointment while he went to professional development with his cooperating teacher. I knew he trusted me to take her, but he couldn’t help feeling guilty. “Finn will take me, and I’m sure he’ll text you when we’re home. You can’t put your entire life on hold because of me.”
“You’re worth it, Mom. I would do it in a heartbeat if you’d let me.”
“I know, but I’d never be able to live with myself. Not when your Aunt Cathy or Finn can help.” I was honored, honestly. That Jamie trusted me. And that Annie felt comfortable enough with me to take her.
