Page 64 of When He Saved Me
I tried to pull away from him, not wanting to come until he’d buried himself inside me, but he only yanked me back to him, this time adding a finger in with his tongue. I could feel his saliva running down my crack and over my balls. “Please, Finn,” I whined, not even recognizing the sound of my voice in this state.
Finn sat up, and I hissed as I felt the cool trickle of lube on my hole as he continued to deftly work me open, adding a second finger and then a third before I finally felt his dick at my entrance. “I’m ready, Finn. Just give it to me.”
I felt the sharp crack of a slap against my ass, and I let loose a wail followed by a string of curses. “Fuuuuck. Shit. Goddamn.” My eyes watered at the sting even as my dick jumped in response, and before I could decide whether I liked it or not, Finn slammed home, sheathing himself inside me in one deep stroke. The sound I made was feral as my body stretched to accommodate him. “Move, dammit,” I ground out. I felt him every-fucking-where. I was being torn in two, so full of him that I thought he’d be permanently a part of me.
He pulled back, almost all the way out, and slammed home again. I grunted, clenching my ass around him, willing him to give me more. To give me the pounding I so desperately wanted. He pulled out again, but this time, he pulled me up with him, slamming up and into me, impaling me on his dick as I straddled his lap. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling my back to his chest, and began fucking into me in short, fast strokes.
“Yessss,” I hissed, though I choked on it when he hit my prostate on the next stroke. And once he found that button, he hit it over and over again like it was the damn jackpot. I reached down to wrap my hand around my dick, not even bothering to find the lube or lick my palm. I didn’t care if I was jerking myself dry. I just needed to get off like I needed my next breath.
Finn broke rhythm for a fraction of a second before batting my hand away and wrapping his slicked-up hand around me. He continued to pound me, stroking my erection in time with his thrusts. His breath was hot on my shoulder, our slick bodies sliding together. “Get there,” he said, and for the first time, I heard the desperation in his voice. He’d been so commanding, which was hot as fuck, but the sound of his voice now, a little bit wrecked, was even hotter, and it sent me right over the goddamned edge. Hot white ropes of cum shot across the bed, over and over, as my dick pulsed in his hand.
Finn gave an almighty shout, and his entire body stiffened underneath mine as his orgasm detonated deep inside me. It felt like it might go on forever as he rode the waves, and we both struggled to catch our breath. Eventually, I pulled off him, collapsing forward onto the bed, avoiding the wet spot and curling into a ball. Finn followed me, pulling me into him, kissing my back and shoulder as he wrapped himself around me.
Without warning, my eyes flooded and tears began streaming down my cheeks. I couldn’t have stopped the torrent if I’d tried. Big, painful sobs wracked my body while Finn continued to hold me, kiss me, and whisper words of comfort from behind.
It would seem I’d grossly miscalculated. I’d wanted to fuck away the numbness so I could feel something again. Or maybe I’d wanted to forget altogether. Just anything other than what I’d been feeling when I’d arrived home tonight.
Instead, I’d tapped into a raw nerve. I’d never been able to separate sex from emotion like some people, so I should have known that sex with Finn would never elicit anything other thanbigfeelings. Pain and grief washed over me so deeply that I thought I might drown in it.
She hadn’t even passed yet. What would this feel like when she had? Would I survive it?
“Shh,” I heard Finn whisper between gentle kisses against my skin. And “I love you” and “I’m here.” I heard those things, clung to those words over and over until I fell asleep.
CHAPTER30
FINN
The call camein at three in the morning. Annie stopped breathing around two-thirty, and because she had a DNR on file, they hadn’t attempted resuscitation or intubation. Jamie had been eerily stoic when the call came through, his responses to the person on the other end of the call terse and robotic.
I’d heard most of the other side of the conversation through the phone, and still, my stomach had dropped when Jamie disconnected the call, turned to me, and said, “She’s gone.” He’d then promptly gotten out of bed, dressed in his clothes from the evening before, and left the room without a word.
Despite the lump in my throat and the empty, hollow feeling in my chest, my most immediate concern was Jamie, so I got up and dressed and followed him out. I found him in the kitchen, staring at the coffee pot as if he’d never seen one before. Knowing sleep was likely finished for the night, I took the pod from his hand and gently nudged him aside to prepare the machine to make two cups. While the coffee pot did its thing, I turned to lean back against the counter while Jamie just…stood there.
He stood motionless in the middle of the darkened kitchen, looking off into the distance, his blond hair loose and hanging wild around his face. It was almost like he was catatonic, and it was scaring me.
“Jamie,” I tried. Nothing. “Baby,” I tried again. But there wasn’t a flicker of motion or acknowledgment that he heard me.
The coffee finished, and I grabbed both mugs and crossed to him, setting his on the counter next to him. I reached out and gently touched his shoulder. He flinched, his eyes flicking to mine, almost as if he’d forgotten I was there.
I motioned toward the mug. “Coffee’s ready.” He looked at it as if it was the first time he’d ever seen coffee before, and then, without a word, he turned and left the kitchen, leaving his mug sitting on the counter, untouched.
Concerned by this behavior, I followed him as he moved down the hall, going past his room and turning left into the room Annie had been using for months. I stood in the doorway as I watched him move about the room, touching this and that and examining the couple of pictures he’d moved in here to help it feel more comfortable for her. I wasn’t sure how much time he spent moving from item to item in the small room before he finally stepped over to the bed, pulled back the covers, slid under them, and closed his eyes.
CHAPTER31
JAMIE
When I was twenty-two,I became an orphan.
Having experienced the loss of a parent before, one would have thought I’d be prepared to handle the death of another.
Nothing could have prepared me for this utter desolation.
I was surrounded by people, and yet, I felt completely alone.
After my father’s death, there had been an initial period of sadness, followed by anger and waves of grief. Eventually, those waves had become less intense and less frequent until they’d finally settled into a dull ache at the loss of the best man I’d ever known.
After that initial grieving period, I’d continued to move through life with an optimistic attitude. I’d felt lucky that I’d had the kind of father I had in my life. I’d clung to the memories I had of him and had done my best to try to be the man my father would have wanted me to be. I wasn’t always successful, but I’d intuitively known that my father wouldn’t have been disappointed as long as I always tried better the next time.
