Page 45 of Something Good
Will unlocked his Jeep, and we climbed in, but before he started the car, he turned to face me, brushing a curl off my forehead. He must have seen the guilt in my eyes because he said, “Don’t beat yourself up. You’ve got a lot on your plate. He’ll understand.”
“I just feel like a dick. I haven’t even asked him how he’s doing. I was too afraid of triggering him.”
“So ask him. If you trigger him, use those breathing techniques I taught him. But I don’t think that’s going to happen. Like I said, he’s stronger than you think.”
He started the car and turned us in the direction of his house.
“Do you think you’ll take the money my mom offered you?”
I rolled my head on the headrest to look at him while he drove. “You heard that part, huh?”
His cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink and he kept his eyes on the road. He shrugged his shoulders, though he didn’t offer an apology.
I let out a breath, turning back to stare at the road ahead. We were just a few minutes from his house, a few minutes from reality, and I supposed I needed to pull my shit together. “Yeah, I’ll probably take it. I don’t think I have a choice.” I was quiet a moment, debating asking him the question that had been bugging me since Olivia had given me the offer. “Will it bother you if I take money from your mom? Will it change things between us?”
He reached over and grabbed my hand, twining his fingers with mine. “As far as I’m concerned, that money is between you and my mom. It has nothing to do with me or our relationship.” We pulled into the driveway, and I was relieved to see the porch empty. I wanted one more moment with Will before I spoke to Olivia or Jimmy. “Just promise me you won’t hide shit from me, okay? I want to be a part of your life. Even the ugly parts.”
Goddamn if I didn’t deserve him. “I’ll try. That’s the best I can give you.”
“It’s all I ask.”
24
SAMMY
The next coupleof weeks were simultaneously some of the best and worst of my life. The money Olivia gave me helped keep us afloat, but it was evident I would have to find something better paying than Walmart, or I would be right back in the same desperate state next month. Though I’d already applied for jobs all over town, I revisited several places, hoping for new openings, but the problem with a community the size of Astaire was that there weren’t very many jobs to be found, especially with just a high school diploma. There were a couple of larger towns within fifteen to twenty miles that likely would offer more opportunities, but without a car, that wasn’t really an option.
Jimmy found a job at the library, which was perfect, considering his love of books and his introverted nature. Library jobs paid next to nothing, but Jimmy was so proud to help, and as it stood, we couldn’t afford to turn away any source of income, no matter how small. And, of course, Will had been right about it helping with his anxiety.
Mrs. McGee sent someone out to fix the leaky roof. She’d been genuinely appalled at the state of our house and had also arranged for someone to see to several other repairsshe’d thought had already been taken care of. It would seem that Charlotte—I was no longer referring to her as my mother because she’d never earned that title—had taken advantage of Mrs. McGee’s kindness, claiming repairs had been done in return for discounted rent, but she hadn’t actually had the repairs completed. Thankfully, the leaky roof hadn’t resulted in any damage to our meager possessions. I’d thought about moving our stuff into the main bedroom, but even though the space would give us a little more room, I couldn’t stomach it. The door remained solidly shut as if, by doing so, we could simply erase Charlotte’s existence from our lives.
Between my shifts at Walmart, searching for additional work, and the lawn mowing jobs Mrs. McGee had referred me to, I didn’t have a lot of spare time, but when I did, I spent it with Will. Sometimes Jimmy tagged along, but most of the time, it was just the two of us. We swam in the creek, explored the trail that took us past our spot, and hung out at the lookout. Occasionally, we chilled at Will’s house, watching movies or playing video games. Each time, Olivia cooked a huge meal or ordered pizzas and insisted on sending me home with a ton of leftovers. I swallowed my pride and accepted them. Everyone should have someone like Olivia in their life.
We hadn’t taken the physical side of our relationship any further than what we’d done that day at our spot, though I could tell Will wanted more. In this good boy/bad boy romance, I should have been the one doing the pressuring, but in reality, I hesitated, stalled, and outright avoided anything that might take us to that point.
I’d never been with anyone where my heart was involved. With someone whomattered. And he was leaving. Next week, in fact. It felt like if I just held this little part of myself back, I might survive it. I’d still retain some tiny piece of myself that would prevent me from shattering.
Today, Jimmy and I had a rare afternoon off and had decided to hang out at the pool while Will finished his shift. We’d run into Joey and his girlfriend, Grace, and were standing in the waist-high water shooting the shit. I didn’t think I’d seen Joey since I’d gone with him to that bonfire in June, but that was pretty typical. We were the type of friends who partied occasionally, not the type who hung out and shared secrets. Not that I did that with anyone but Will.
I wasn’t sure how he did it, but he managed to make me say things I wouldn’t to anyone else. And it wasn’t like he pressured me. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He simply allowed me tobeand the words came tumbling out of their own accord. I supposed that was what made him special.
The object of my thoughts blew his whistle from the lifeguard stand, signaling to a couple of kids roughhousing a little way from where we were standing. He gave them a stern shake of his head, which was frankly hot as fuck, but then his attention caught on me and his face lit in a smile. My cheeks heated, and I knew it had nothing to do with the sun. I’d never stop feeling like I’d won the lottery every time he gave me one of his smiles.
“Jesus. Fuck,” I said as water hit me directly in the eye. I swiped at my face, which was pointless since my hands were also wet. I flung water at Joey in retaliation, which earned us another whistle from my boyfriend.
“Watch it, Sammy. You know the rules,” he called out. The authority in his tone had my cock twitching under the water.
“What are you gonna do about it?” I called, slapping a smirk on my face.
He shook his head, deliberately turning away from us, but he was grinning, and I realized so was I. Flirting with him, hanging at the pool—I barely even recognized myself.
“Who’s that?” Joey nodded in Will’s direction. “He’s got you grinning like a fool. I’ve seen him around several times this summer.”
I turned back to Joey, my smile turning to a scowl. “I wasn’t grinning like a fool.”
“You totally were,” Jimmy said. The little sellout was shooting me a shit-eating grin. “That’s his boyfriend, Will.”
“Youhave a boyfriend?” I couldn’t decide if I should be offended or amused by the shock in his tone.
