Page 50 of Something Good
I sat all the way up now, emotion and desperation clawing its way up my throat. “Why? I can take classes online or go to the community college in Brinkley. I can help you get back on your feet and then transfer to Nebraska-Lincoln to finish my degree. Then I’d only be a couple of hours away rather than several states.”
“No. Absolutely not. I’m not letting you give up your future for me.”
“I’m not giving up my future. I’m just changing directions. There’s nothing wrong with taking classes at a community college, and the degree program at Nebraska is basically the same as the one at Purdue.”
“No.” He got to his feet, running his hands through his curls like he always did when he was agitated. I rose to stand in front of him, stopping his pacing and forcing him to look me in the eye.
“Why are you fighting this so hard? Why won’t you let me do this?”
“Because I can’t be the reason you stay.” The words exploded out of him, and I flinched as they landed in my chest like shrapnel. “What happens when you get tired of me? When your need to be a hero wears off, and you realize what you gave up to stay? When you start to resent me?”
“Sammy, I could never?—”
“And how do I explain it to your mom?” He grabbed his shorts and began pulling them on, his movements jerky with agitation. “‘Thanks for the money, Olivia. I’m repaying you by keeping your son here instead of letting him go to the school he’s got all the scholarships for.’ Jesus, Will. She gave up everything for you. I’m not gonna be the guy who allows you to throw that away.”
“Allows me? You don’t make decisions for me. You’ve been trying to do that all damn summer, but these aremychoices, Sammy. Mine.”
He pulled his shirt over his head while I stood in the clearing without a stitch of clothing on. “No.”
“You already said that, and I don’t accept it.” My chest squeezed and my vision blurred as tears threatened to spill. “Why won’t you fight for us?”
“Because you want anusthat doesn’t exist. That shouldn’t exist. I should have never let you talk me into this relationship.” With those words, he eviscerated me. Sliced me open straight to the core. In a matter of moments, we’d gone from making love in the moonlight to the dissolution of our relationship. He was the goddamn love of my life, and he’d just told me he regretted being with me.
He brushed past me and opened the car door. “Take me home, Will.”
He climbed in without waiting for my response, slamming the door behind him. The loud crack of it reverberated around the clearing, causing me to flinch as if he’d struck me. With tearsfreely flowing now, I dressed and gathered up the sleeping bag, tossing it in the back of the Jeep while struggling to keep the panic attack at bay.
He refused to look at me when I climbed into the driver’s seat and pointed the car back toward town. We rode in silence. There were no hands placed on knees or at the backs of necks. No fingers laced together. No glances shared.
There was nothing left.
26
SAMMY
Nothing had ever hurt as muchas hearing the sound of Will’s heart shattering in the silence of that car. What made it more awful was not just the knowledge that I was the cause of his pain but that I was hurting myself as well.
Still, I knew I wouldn’t take it back. I couldn’t.
We pulled up to my house, and for the first time since I’d gotten into the car back at the overlook, I turned and looked at him. His face was splotchy and red and streaked with tears. I itched to reach out to him. To stroke my hand against his cheek and pull him into my arms.
I did none of those things.
He met my gaze, his eyes burning with intensity. “I love you, Sammy.”
I closed my eyes, allowing his words to wash over me, allowing myself to feel the absolute joy in hearing them, then I shut it all down, locked everything I’d ever felt for Will Hartley into the deepest part of myself, got out of the car, and didn’t look back.
PART II
ALWAYS
27
SAMMY
Ten Years Later
The music pulsedthrough me as I pushed my way through the crowded club with drinks in hand. All around me, sweaty bodies of all shapes, sizes, and gender identities writhed to the beat. One of those bodies attempted to wrap himself around me, pressing his cock into my ass as he ground against me from behind. I pushed my ass back into his crotch, enjoying the feel of a hard body against mine. Our hips swayed back and forth in time with the beat, his hand sliding up my chest underneath my crop top as we moved. I felt his breath hot on my neck a split second before I felt his lips against my ear. He nipped at it. “You want to take this somewhere more private?”
