Page 55 of Something Good
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WILL
I drovepast Sherry’s Soft-Serv with a lump in my throat, resisting the urge to turn around and make the hour-long drive back to Omaha, bailing on the dinner I’d agreed to with Mom and Jeff. It had been years since I’d been back to Astaire, and even after all this time, the town still managed to have this effect on me.
I’d spent the first ten years of my life here, and then later, I’d had the summer that would change everything about who I was and who I’d become. Those months had altered my brain chemistry and forever changed the way I viewed the world.
The rose-colored glasses had been lifted, initially sending me into a spiral that would have me nearly failing out of my first semester of college and fucking my way through half the gay and bisexual population of Purdue. Then, the summer between my junior and senior year, I met Dmitri when I’d been assigned to his father’s company in Chicago for an internship.
Dmitri was older—nine years—and had exuded an air of polished sophistication that had me entirely enamored. He’d been the exact opposite of Sammy in nearly every way, and forthe first time, I’d found myself attracted enough to someone to try a relationship again.
Dmitri had kept things politely platonic throughout my internship, but at the end of that summer, when he’d offered to keep in touch, I’d agreed. I was thrilled that someone like him, with all his experience in the construction industry and in dating men, might want someone like me.
I would never know why he chose me, courted me, convinced me he loved me and wanted to build a life with me, when he never intended to be faithful. Since finding him fucking Sebastian on Christmas Eve, I’d uncovered a string of men he’d been sleeping with over the years, going all the way back to that summer he befriended me.
He’d flown me to Chicago on weekends while I finished my senior year at Purdue, all while hooking up in bars and clubs when I was away during the week. He’d fucked his own best man in the bathroom at the rehearsal dinner for our wedding, for fuck’s sake, and I’d never known about any of it.
How could I have married such a man and had no idea what was going on right under my nose foryears?I wasn’t sure my own judgment could be trusted when it came to men. One hadn’t loved me enough to fight for me, and the other hadn’t ever loved me at all.
By the time I arrived at Mom’s house, I was in a terrible headspace. Sensing my distress, Goldie whined and tried to climb over the console to get to me when I leaned forward and rested my head on the steering wheel. Chuckling, I sat back up so she could get all sixty pounds of herself into my lap. She happily licked my face and nuzzled into me while I buried my face in her fur, taking comfort from her warmth and unconditional love.
Adopting Goldie was quite possibly the best decision I ever made. Dmitri had hated dogs, and I’d never really given a lot of thought to whether I wanted one, but when I started havinganxiety flare-ups several years ago, in addition to switching up my medications, my doctor suggested a pet might help. So, when a friend had needed to rehome their puppy, I’d taken her in. It’d been absolute love at first sight.
With a couple of deep breaths, I got out of the truck, whistling for Goldie to follow. Stepping into Mom’s house was like stepping into a hug. Though I’d only lived here for three months, everything about it felt likeher. Tears sprung to my eyes, taking me by surprise as I realized how much I’d missed her, how much I’d missed out on by avoiding this place. In my effort to shut out memories of Sammy, I’d missed out on making new ones with Mom. I’d run to Purdue, and then I’d run to Chicago… I’d been running for ten years now, and I suddenly realized how exhausted I was.
“Will? Honey, is that you?” Mom came through from the kitchen, but something in my expression had her pulling up short and the smile she’d been wearing faded. “Honey, why are you standing there in the entryway? Aren’t you going to come all the way in?”
At the sight of her, all of the emotion, every bit of control I’d been hanging on to for the last three months, crumbled. Mom knew about the divorce, of course. She knew about at least some of the cheating that had gone on in my relationship. I’d even seen her in person since I’d caught the bastard in the act. They’d flown out to Chicago to visit for the holidays. But that had been in the early days when I’d still been sort of numb and hadn’t fully realized the ramifications of how it would affect my life.
But something about seeing her in person now, in this house, did me in. I reverted to the boy I’d once been, who needed his mother very, very much.
She swooped in, pulling me into her arms while Goldie leaned her weight against my legs. Mom didn’t say anything. Shejust rubbed my back and let me cry. Eventually, the tears ran dry and I pulled back, swiping at my face, feeling a little ridiculous.
“I’m sorry. I just?—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, honey. Come on back, and I’ll pour you a drink.”
I followed her back to the kitchen, scenting what I hoped was a pot roast in the oven, and sat at the table. Mom poured me two fingers of whiskey, placed the glass in front of me, and then poured a glass of wine for herself. Goldie made herself comfortable at my feet.
I sat awkwardly, searching for something to say, some way to explain why I’d lost it like that, but I didn’t know where to start.
“It’s okay, honey. We don’t have to talk about it. Or you can talk when you’re ready.” She moved to get up, but I put my hand out. “Stay.” I took a fortifying drink, then offered her a small smile. “I missed you. And I’m sorry I didn’t come home more often. I should have?—”
“I understand. It was hard after…”
“…Sammy. Yeah. It was. But I shouldn’t have let that keep me from you. Not for nearly a decade.”
She reached out and put her hand over mine. “Listen. I knew what that boy meant to you, and though you never told me all the details, I knew how much it hurt when he pushed you away. But I won’t lie and say it didn’t feel like you were pushing me away too.”
“Mom, I’m sor?—”
“Stop. It’s okay. I’m not looking for more apologies. All I’m trying to say is that while it did hurt, I knew it was what you needed to do. And I always believed you’d come back.”
“Even after I married Dmitri and moved to Chicago?” I’d once loved the exotic sound of his name. Now, it tasted foul on my tongue.
Her face clouded in anger. “That cheating asshole never knew what he had when he lured you into that sham of a marriage. I knew you’d come to your senses eventually.” She took an aggressive gulp of her wine, and I couldn’t help but smile at her fierce defense of me. “I’m just sorry it took him cheating on you to figure it out.”
“Wow, Mom. Tell me how you really feel.”
