Page 91 of Something Good
“Goodnight, Sammy.”
50
SAMMY
A knock soundedat my door, and I moved to answer it, setting my empty coffee mug in the sink as I went. I grabbed Goldie’s collar, holding her back as I pulled the door open, squashing the nerves at seeing Olivia for the first time since Will had returned. Our paths had crossed a few times over the years, mostly when Jimmy was still in high school. He’d stayed close to her over the years while I’d avoided her out of the guilt I’d felt over what I’d done to her son.
“Hey,” I said as I pulled the door wider. Goldie strained against my hold to get to her.
She slipped through the door, immediately dropping to her knees to greet Goldie, whose tail was a blur as she licked Olivia’s face in delight.
“I have her leash here. Do you need food or treats? I can send some with you.”
She stood, meeting my eyes. “No, I keep food and treats at my house.”
“Okay. Well, thanks for driving in to get her on such short notice.” I moved to clip Goldie’s leash to her collar, but Olivia placed her hand on my arm to stop me.
“Sammy.”
“Yeah?” I swallowed hard, not wanting to meet her eyes.
“Honey, look at me.”
I did as she asked, afraid of what I’d see there. But I should have known there wouldn’t be anything to worry about. Her face was warm and open, and she held her arms out for a hug.
I wasn’t much of a hugger unless it was Will, but I walked into her arms, allowing myself to be held by the woman I’d always wished could have been my mother.
It was like coming home. Like turning your face to the sun on a warm spring day.
“You didn’t have to avoid me, you know,” she said as she rubbed my back. “I wasn’t angry.”
I pulled back. “How is that possible? I took your money and broke Will’s heart. I?—”
“I told you the money had nothing to do with your relationship with my son. Even still, you paid me back, though you didn’t have to send the money through Jimmy. Hell, you didn’t even have to pay me back at all, but I understand the pride involved in taking that kind of a loan.”
She rubbed a hand up and down my shoulder. “And I understood why you broke up with him. That boy was so hopelessly in love with you that I think he might have done just about anything to keep you, even if it meant throwing away his future.” She dropped her hand and took a step back. “That is why you did it, isn’t it? To force him to go to college like he’d planned?”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Yeah. I just didn’t want him to waste his time with me. He was meant for so much more.”
“Honey, you wouldn’t have been a waste of time. I’m glad he went to college, though I would have rather he hadn’t married that cheating asshole, but even if he’d stayed and chosen adifferent path here in Nebraska, your value in this world isn’t any less than his.”
I pulled the tie out of my hair, ran my hands through the strands, then smoothed it back into a ponytail once again. “I get that now, mostly.”
“Do you? You’ve done amazing things with your life.”
I couldn’t help the way her words warmed me from the inside out. There were very few people in this world who I gave a shit about what they thought of me. She was one of them. “Thank you.”
“Have you forgiven yourself? For what you think you did to him all those years ago?”
My gut clenched. I hadn’t really thought about it in that way. “I think I’ll always feel bad for how much I hurt him.”
“But if you had it to do all over again, would you make the same choice?”
“I…honestly, I think I would. Maybe I’d do it in a more compassionate way, or maybe I’d try harder to find compromise, but if he’d insisted on not going to college, I’d probably still break up with him.”
Her eyes held nothing but compassionate understanding. “You love him, don’t you?”
There was no point in denying it. “Yeah. I don’t think I ever stopped.”
